2 months and still hurting

lonelyNdepressed · 02-01-2010, 07:12 AM

It's been 2 months since i moved out and me and my husband barely talk. the only time we communticate is bascially through text messages. i'll call him every now and then but just if it's about the kids. i am having a really hard time dealing with this. i cry all the time, can't eat or sleep. i just want to go home and i want my husband back. he still seems so angry sometimes. i thought he would be happy that he got rid of me, well that's what his mom told me that he was happy now, that he always goes over to her house and that he doesn't run out of there like he use to, ummm maybe because he doesn't want to be alone? His mom also told me that my husband was def done with me, i told her that i was still in love with him and that i am still holding on to hope. She told my husband that and he had told his friends that i was crazy for thinking that. i just don't know why this is happening to me. i wasn't that bad of a wife, yea i went about things in my marriage wrong, but i don't think it was grounds for divorce. does anyone have any adivce on how to cope with this??

ZoeCat · 02-05-2010, 06:46 AM

Lonely - I am right there with you. It's been 2 months since my husband moved out of our house. I did okay the first month, but it seems like some days I can barely get my head above water. I've been working on my issues and trying to better myself. Take care of yourself and your kids. Keep posting here - there are some really great people here who will listen and give great advice.

You aren't alone.

raising5boyz · 02-05-2010, 12:39 PM

Hey ladies....I'll join in with you in the lonely club. My h has been gone two months as well...and this is the hardest it's been since he left. Well, actually I asked him to leave....but I still feel the same as you both do. Maybe this is the worst month and it will get better after this??? We can hope. Honestly...I don't know how to get past him. It sucks. All of it.

And the texting only thing. I don't like that either. In a way it feels disrespectful. I mean its like....I was good enough to talk to before....why not now? I am seriously thinking about having my cell number changed just to avoid the texting. Then he will have to call me on the home phone to discuss anything.

Lonely: I don't know the background....but chances are when he talks he is just blowing smoke. I don't know of anybody that has real emotions and a concience that can walk away from a relationship and be completely happy. My first husband was abusuve, and leaving him was the best thing I could have ever done....and in some ways I was so much happier. But even with that situation....I missed him...at least the good parts of him....I missed the good times we had together. So just ignore the comments....especially from "friends" and even more so his mom. She'll say anything in his favor. And if she doesn't want you two together, then she'll really say anything.

Keep your chin up...it's gotta get better at some point!

lonelyNdepressed · 02-06-2010, 06:42 PM

I have been married for almost 7 yrs. and me and my husband have had some problems over the years...when we first got married i was taking care of all the bills and money in the house...but i lost my job and my husband got hurt and was only getting half his pay...we were always behind on the bills..so i started to pay the bills with credit cards and then it got out of control to where i put us in debit...i finally told my husband what was going on and he got mad but i didn't tell him everything and as days went on he found out the rest..he got so mad he asked me to leave and that he wanted a divorce...i got so scared and went to stay with my parents..well after 5 days he asked me to move back home...then a year later i started to get into trouble with the bills again and got behind in them again..this time i didn't use anything to pay them i told my husband and again got mad and threatened divorce...again we worked it out..
this has gone on every year for the last 6 yrs..i would get behind in the bills and not know how to tell my husband so i would hide it from him until it got out of control or until he caught me...and each and everytime he threatened me with divorce...the last time this happened he told me that he wasn't theartening me the next time...the next time he was just going to get a divorce...my husband has taken the bills away from me but soon or later i start paying again...Well it happened again and this time i took money from his 401K to try and pay all the late bills...he found out and now has asked for a divorce and in a week we had a lawyer and are having a agreement written up..and because i was always sooo nervous about the money and bills, i started to abuse xanax and vicodin from time to time, that my husband would bring into the house,, even knowing i had a problem with them and my doctor gave them to me for a herinated disk in my neck