So my wife likes girls! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-05-2010, 01:12 AM Thread Starter
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So my wife likes girls!

And I am NOT happy about it. I found an MP3 file on her computer where a girl was saying how she was happy to hear her voice, etc. A quick check into her email account and I discovered how she has been sending women nasty messages and masturbating at 4am in the morning while I am sleep. I am pretty sure she was putting on web shows etc, she took her computer to the bathroom. While she did not physically cheat this was a lot for me to take in. I caved when I told her what I found and she just looked at me like "and?" I feel she has completely disrespected our marriage and does not even care. We were high school sweethearts and as it turns out she is bi-curious. here is a link to the message I found. So I guess I'll start dating again. Do you guys think I overreacted?

Last edited by blacksage; 02-05-2010 at 08:23 AM.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-05-2010, 06:57 AM
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Re: So my wife likes girls!

blacksage, I have to say that I'm having a hard time coming up with any advice or thoughts on this, as I can't get past that you would post that message. I understand that you are hurt and upset, but IMO, revealing names and personal information about others, obviously without their permission, is really out of line.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-05-2010, 08:25 AM Thread Starter
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Re: So my wife likes girls!

I didnt think about that, but i took the message down. It does not give a full name and she posted it online on a forum as well, I just copied and pasted the link. dont think that I hacked a voicemail account and created that file. She is on a site llisted as a married woman and I guess they dont care.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-05-2010, 08:50 AM
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Re: So my wife likes girls!

Tell her that the trust you have in her as shrunk dramatically. because when it comes down to it, her actions where a deceitful lie.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-23-2015, 10:40 PM
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Re: So my wife likes girls!

This is an old post but I know a few guys like this and never understood why they were not as happy about having a bisexual wife as I am. I think it is because they picture their wife having girlfriends which is the same as having boyfriends in their mind.

It does not have to be like that. It can be a very pleasurable sex life. My wife is bisexual but I did not know it when we married and neither did she. She made it work. Instead of dating women to satisfy that need in her, she arranged FFM threesome; a few thousand over the last 40 years since she also had a steady girlfriend who lives with us part time.

The threesomes were a lot of fun. We also ran into couples where the husband wanted to watch his wife with another woman so he and me would watch as our wives put on a great show for us. Once again, no threat to our marriage. We met a lot of bi-curious women who preferred a FFM thressome rather than just girl on girl. In their mind it was just sharing a man and that did not make them feel like a lesbian, so they said. It also gave them an out in case they did not like sex with another woman. They could just concentrate on me.

My wife has not desire to have sex with other men or sex with women that does not involve me, even if just to watch. In fact, during our threesomes my wife would stop what she was doing if I left the room and then resume when I got back. Back then she needed to think she was just putting on a show for me rather than being bisexual.

Our girlfriend got married after about 13 years to a man who was OK with her having sex with me and my wife. I could not do let my wife do that. Find your comfort level and communicate with your wife. There are options like swingers clubs where you can just watch while she is with another woman although most woman are not like my wife because they want their first few times with a female to be private.

Make rules like she cannot date someone more than X number of times. Have her inform her dates that she is in a committed relationship and is not looking for a relationship. You can make it work if you try. It worked for us. It worked for our girlfriend and her husband. You too can make it work.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-23-2015, 11:45 PM
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