Re: Sharing the kids?
my sons are 11 and 8. they have only just had their birthdays. so my youngest is not that far from yours.
of course my children wanted us to stay together.
but the information we gave straight away was, that mum and dad were not happy with eachother.
we asked them in a relaxed atmosphere if they wanted mum and dad to be happy. they answered yes.
so we said for the moment this was best that we should not be together.
the first couple of weeks , well we were all adjusting and after that we fell into place. but then we did not row, this made the atmosphere calmer for our children and my sanity.
mon hubby would call over after work (after 5)to speak to them .
read a story and play.
tue at 6pm, he would collect the children to take them to football.
wednesday, children with me and day of for hubby.
but i did not stop them calling eachother.
thur 6pm, hubby would pick them up . children on this day go to a local club and hubby would take them and pick them up and bring them home at 8.30. as they had club at separate times. they each had their own time with dad. so youngest was 6-7pm and oldest child went 7 til 8.30.
friday - we alternated each week. incase either of us wanted to go out.
saturday - hubby would collect boys from 10 am for football and bring them back by 1pm. hubby would have his own time after that.
if i went out on a saturday he would come back to look after the boys.
he would then sleep on the settee.
sunday - if it was a good day, we would take the boys out. we did this to help our sons adjust , and realise that mum and dad would always be there for them. not ever sunday. but if weather awful - we would stay in and play games. hubby and i would only go out for about an hr and he would prob stay for 2 hr if we had bad weather.
i promise you , this ws the routine that our children suggested and it worked for them.
my hubby and i have split up a few times over the yrs.
b 4 we never told them, kept it from them.
and they reacted differently because they did not understand. they were upset alot.
but they were not even half as upset and this ws the worst issue for which we split over.
ok its trial and error with most things we do, until we find the correct way that suits our needs.
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