Lifelover

Well today wouldve been our 7th year anniversary... and Im not really all that sad about it.. but I think the meds are responsible for that. I think Im moving towards the acceptance part of the grieving process, although I tend to jump around the stages a bit.. I can say this: I wish it would have worked, but Im glad it didnt take half my life to figure out. Part of me still loves the person she WAS, none of me loves or even likes the person she is now. My life is moving in a direction that I find to be quite nice, though I dont think Im ready to date yet. Its becoming easier to think about what I want and what I need. Gotta cut it short, late for work.

Lifelover

So, yeah. I really thought today was gonna mess me up bad, it was actually a pretty normal day. Every now and again I felt a twinge of pain coming on, but it blew over fast. Yesterday I went for a walk with my dog and this girl thats a friend of mine (the one who Im pretty sure likes me). Then we went and ate dinner and had a few beers-as friends. It wasnt a date, there was nothing awkward about it, just 2 likeminded people hanging out and having a good time. And it felt damn good. Then I started to realize, how nice it wouldve been if my ex was ever like this, if I couldve ever had this much fun with her. See, I had the warm body to lay with, the sex was..ok I guess, hugs, kisses goodbye, etc, and we would sometimes watch tv together, or talk about our day. But I dont think I ever connected with her like I am with this other girl. All my friends are like, man you just need to go get laid, get her out of your system for good. But I got more pleasure from just walking and talking and laughing with this girl, and not having to "dumb it down" like I was used to doing with the ex or noticing that she didnt care/wasnt interested in what I was saying. Just pure social/emotional connection... Ahh so refreshing. And I was missing that way before I left my ex. So nice.

Carefulthoughts

I think a lot of people go from meeting a person to being intimate with them very quickly. There isn't a whole lot of getting to know them as a friend then moving on progressively. This is one of the problems I think I made with my marriage. Least your getting time to enjoy the other person.

Lifelover

Yeah I think your right, but Im really not into this girl like that. Itd be nice, and probably great for a while. But its still too soon for me, well maybe if it was someone I didnt already have a good friendship with, regardless I think Im in a weird state of mind where no matter what I try I really have no clue what Im after anymore, and I need to sort that out first.

Carefulthoughts

Oh I totally agree that you nor I need a relationship right now. I was just commenting on the friends first thing. I think in my marriage/seperation/working on divorce ; I have lost a lot of what makes me ME. We all need that restoration period were we can remember and understand who we are and what our values are. Cause I would think most of us who post here have compromised themselves in atleast one if not more ways on the way they thought about themselves or looked over some of their values for the other person.