Re: how do I at least make one last attempt
She had been taking Lexipro for 8 years, I dont honestly know what the official diagonsis was. She didnt want to tell me and the pills were working so I didnt press her on it.
Before starting Lexipro she had become almost unbearable to live with, yelling, mad at the world. She had lost 2 jobs because of her temper that year. At that time I convinced her to see a doctor and they prescribed Lexipro and honestly did wonders for her temper and was the person I had married again. She was always a yeller, but her entire family is like that, I just figured it was learned behavior.
3 years ago now, boy how time flys, she lost a very good job for an incident that was completely out of character for her. Lost company car, phone, our health insurance all was paid by her employer. As with most people who loose a good job, when they start looking for new work, they dont pay enough, benefits arent good etc. Then she wasnt looking for a job that hard, I knew she was getting depressed about that situation and other things going on. She quit leaving the house, always saying she couldnt afford gas etc which wasnt the problem, I made enough to keep us going. She was making the home a prison for herself seemingly with Dr. Phil and Ophra becoming her friends so to speak.
I got her a part-time job which wasnt a good paying job, but it had lots of contact with people and she loves to talk and I thought having her get out of house, see and talk to people would help her. While it helped in some aspects, she was getting more frustrated, her temper started coming back. This also coincided with her monthly cycles getting less frequent, spotty periods.
In January she had a doctors appointment and immediately after that appointment she was more depressed. Very aggitated, super short temper. By February she seemed a lil happier, getting out of the house more, little did I know at that time this is when the OM came into picture. He is retired and they saw each other while I was at work. She announced to me that she quit taking her medication 1st of February and by end of February she was moving out of our house, talking and acting crazy and moved in with her OM. Though to this day she wont even admit he exists.
Soon after this everything she has done has been completely out of character for her. She started drinking, partying hard. She was telling everyone in town the most outlandish stories about me. Then she started telling people she feared me, which I will never understand. Any story to keep up the illusion that I drove her away? I dont know. The stories and crazy texts from her that I was getting were wild, I actually started doing the 180 before I knew there was a term for it back in May for fear of her and what that head of hers was cooking up. I figured till she got tossed out of OM house which everyone knew would happen and normally takes about 3 months before he gets bored it was pointless to talk to her. She was in fantasyland and all I had to offer was the real world.
When she got tossed out of OM home is when the teddy bear massacre happened. I do think in her head she believes I did it even though the person responsible told her she had done it. It was the OM new girlfriend who was ready to move in. Yet she still went and got a temp restraining order. The police even told her I was not responsible, they knew who did it,yet she said they all lied cause they like me better than her according to cop.
My stbxw has always done this though, she will convince herself of the things and no matter how much evidence or how many people tell she is wrong she just wont believe it. She must be right in her head. She has wanted me to be the bad guy.
I havent physically seen or spoken to her since the end of May. The crazy text messages from her stopped at the end of July when she filed the restraining order fiasco. She has now found an apartment from what I have heard. Her lawyer keeps spewing out this nonsense that she fears for her life around me to the point she wont even attend a court hearing. Every single person who has seen her or talked to her over the last couple months says the same thing, she talks crazy, she looks horrible. I never sent the email to her mother, figured after she totaled the car even they have to see what a mess she has become.
And for as much as I want to help her, I dont know how to, heck I would like to just send her a text and let her know her dogs and cat are doing ok but I fear she will just try another order or a stalking claim or whatever. She has dug a huge hole of a mess, in the past when she has done this I always cleaned up the mess cause she just runs away from the problem. Its not just her mess, its our mess, I understand that. She just reacts to the moment without thinking about future consequenses, I tend to look at the future consequenses, figure out what may or may not go wrong, then act. Right now she is too much of a wildcard to predict and even if she called me tomorrow and asked to see me, I probably wouldnt unless there were witnesses around. She needs help whether we get divorced or not.