The push / pull is very common with people first dating after a long term M. You get those feelings
going and you want to wade in more..... then you remember what happened the last time you
went into the water. A Hangover Crew friend recently went through the same thing last year.
Quite a few females on OLD who are coming out of 15-20 year M, get more attention than they
have had since... well HS or maybe when she first started seeing her XH. The deal is... most of
the guys showing attention, are after sex (often women trade sex for attention, men attention for sex).
After they get burned a few times they just collect the attention and stop taking the risk.
I'm sure guys are the same way but since..... I don't date guy, I wouldn't know
As for your "special XW" ..... she's like my ex aunt, gotta have drama or they get bored to death.
Sad part is... she isn't alone on mom's side of the family. Reason I knew a long time ago, after mom
passes, I wash my hands of her family.