Re: how do I at least make one last attempt
My crazy STBXW once called the police on me. We had a bad phone call in the morning and we exchanged texts all day until I reached the point where I decided enough. I texted her informing her that when we both got home from work we would discuss how we would split up. She didn't call back pleading no.
I got home first and was mad and upset that she seemed to not care about breaking up. In my mind, if she did she would have called. She didn't. I got sad and started drinking. Then I started drunk texting her unkind things I didn't mean but said out of anger. Nothing threatening or suggesting violence, just insults and hateful comments. You know what she did? She came home with the police.
I packed up and left. Long story short at various times we dragged each other back into the relationship. In retrospect, I should have ended it there because she just wasting my time and money going through the motions of a false reconciliation for months. Additionally, she made me Plan B while she detached emotionally. Once she was ready to bail out she did. She did it to me again and I allowed it to happen to myself.
I'm sharing this because I want others to learn from my mistakes. I did not behave maturely at times but neither did she. A spouse who falsely calls the police is abusing the system in order to get back control. That is not something you do to someone you supposedly love. Why did I allow that? I wouldn't have tolerated that when we were dating.
It's not love when I asked her "what do you want to get out of counseling?" and she answers "to see if the marriage is worth saving."
I know now my wife doesn't love me; must not have for a long time to do all the the awful things she did. I was blind, foolish, and in denial. I also know she has mental health issues which she denies. Every single person in her family has a diagnosis and prescription. One of her kids has issues. She even told me SHE was on the happy pills after second divorce. Now she will have her third divorce. Everybody is wrong except her.
People reading this, please learn from my mistakes: you can't fix crazy, and dont let crazy people fool you into believing that you are the problem. Crazy people will say and do everything to shift the blame off themselves, including pretending to be religious. They are the masters of disguise and manipulation. They will suck you in and make you a codependent giver even if you were balanced and happy before you met them. As codependent takers, they will dump you like trash once they realize you are on to them and they can't leach anything more from you.
Last edited by Pictureless; 01-21-2014 at 07:37 AM.