how do I at least make one last attempt - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 414 (permalink) Old 01-23-2014, 01:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Oh I have already been down the false allegation, police route. She has called the police so many times they don’t even follow thru with the calls anymore when she started accusing me of having spy technology more advanced than James Bond it didn’t take them long to put it together.

She quit taking her meds without the doctors knowledge and that contributed to the quick and sudden change in her. I was a big boy, I knew what I was getting into when I married her and don’t regret that decision at the end of the day. We had 15+ good, happy years and now a year of hell and madness. Could I have done more, sure probably, could she have done more, sure. It is a two way street. We make decisions based on life experiences and knowledge at the time and we try the best we can. It is all we can do.

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post #47 of 414 (permalink) Old 01-28-2014, 01:54 AM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

So today her lawyer files for an adjournment of trial and several more discovery requests for information her lawyer already has. Its crazy but as I feared she will get another extension to continue this ongoing.

We have an “emergency” hearing scheduled now for Wed on his adjournment request and I am supposed to be out of town on business, my attorney can make the hearing but I hate not being there to hear this nonsense firsthand. These clowns have had almost a year now to sort thru the “vast empire” called our marital assets and now her attorney needs a delay. I knew this sort of nonsense would happen the moment I heard she was now under medical care. I just wish I could be wrong once in this. The judge will grant the extension, I would be shocked if he didn’t because given her now diagnosed mental state he wont push her side. It opens up all sorts of appeals etc. We humor the crazy and she will get what she wants yet again apparently.

I just find this so ironic, she filed and wanted the divorce, yet she has no interest in ending the nightmare. She rants about this fear of me all sorts of crazy talk but wont end this fiasco. I didn’t want the divorce to start with, am still willing to try and help her and all I want to do is end this marriage and cut my losses. This nightmare just will not end!!!!
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post #48 of 414 (permalink) Old 01-28-2014, 03:56 AM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Hang in there, Honcho. Mental illness does not vanish. You need to work out in the gym, date and find a new woman.
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post #49 of 414 (permalink) Old 01-28-2014, 06:38 AM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Honcho,

You can't fix crazy. You can't fix stupid.
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post #50 of 414 (permalink) Old 01-28-2014, 09:07 AM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

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Originally Posted by arked View Post
honcho,

Sorry you are here. No closure is tough to deal with. Your story sounds a lot like mine. Wife in late 40's who was pillow of the community goes nuts. None of our friends have any clue what happened to her. She had a complete 180 degree turn in her way of life. Very small community so I feel for you and understand how hurtful all of this is.

Had the two of you ever been in IC om MC before? Sounds almost like a personality disorder to me. From what I read a lot of high functioning NPDs, BPDs are able to hide their problems from for years.

I got a lot of help from reading on this web site for men who are recovering from relationships with abusive women and the non-abusive family and friends who love them | Shrink4Men there are a lot of good articles posted here to help you understand what you are facing.

Please stay away from her because I think she will turn on you during this divorce. My STBXW went from wanting nothing to wanting everything over night.

Find a link to the 180 on TAM and do the 180 for your own good.
You did not cause her to be this way. You can not control her actions. You can not fix her. Keep you chin up!
Same here, it's devastating.
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post #51 of 414 (permalink) Old 02-01-2014, 10:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

As expected she got her delay in the hearing so now I am out till the middle of May with our speedy court system. Her attorney filed for the delay based on the fact he hasn’t had enough time to find my secret bank account where I hide my money. He argued that I have denied it and he has asked for information during discovery but since I didn’t produce anything he requested an official court order for me to produce it.

The court was going to deny then suddenly her “mental state” and under a therapists care came up and now she got her delay. So I have official court order to produce documents on an account that never existed and I have 4 months more of this nonsense. If anyone knows where I can find this account would you please let me know.

Her stories have become more outlandish and she is back on the stalking, trying to harm her campaign. It made for great court theater according to my lawyer so I think I am onto version 9 of why we are getting a divorce. Her attorney also again tried to get more alimony stating I forced her to quit her job because I put pressure on all the customers and staff to hate her and like me. How long do lawyers have to practice these speeches so they don’t break out laughing halfway thru is my question. Her affair is never spoken of though.

Makes no difference in my state you can only get divorced for one reason and one reason only, irreconcilable differences. Nothing else has any bearing on divorce. So given us humans are creatures of habit, I am sure now that we have yet another delay her attorney will go back to NC till about mid April then start making yet again stupid silly demands, she will have had more months to drive herself even crazier. I sit and hang in limboland as she still cant decide if she wants the house or not and I stare and boxes and boxes of her stuff in the garage and rooms because she wont pick it up.

And really I have no faith that when May comes the divorce will happen then either, why should I believe that date anymore then the july, sept, nov, feb were going to be the final hearing dates…..
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post #52 of 414 (permalink) Old 06-28-2014, 02:27 AM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Nightmare.
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post #53 of 414 (permalink) Old 06-28-2014, 05:34 PM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

How are things?

I just feel for you. Seems so familiar to me.

I've went from living and hoping I wouldn't die to being dead and wondering if I'll ever live again.
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post #54 of 414 (permalink) Old 06-29-2014, 02:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Divorce wise we are nowhere and basically in the same spot as we have been since the start. Still dealing with the usual crazy rantings and lawyers getting nowhere. We have a hearing next month asking the court to have her mentally evaluated as a recent series of events have made that course necessary.

Her side is now counter suing me I assume as “revenge” trying to get me to move out of the house and also to have her atty fees paid by me or some such nonsense. It is ironic because if she wants the house she can have it, yet every time she has wanted the house in the past I agree then she changes her mind. Her lawyer does seem to have a knack for making battles out of stuff we agree on.

Who knows, none of it makes any sense except in the world of divorce.
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post #55 of 414 (permalink) Old 06-30-2014, 09:38 PM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Your wife believes you are the devil. Sad but true.

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post #56 of 414 (permalink) Old 06-30-2014, 10:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

I would wear the costume to the courthouse if I thought it would get the divorce done.
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post #57 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 03:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Havent updated this post in a while. Guess what? We are still nowhere. Her attorney has filed for a delay in ruling on her mental capacities and what doctor should see her. He has also filed for delays in the suing me for legal fees etc. The judge of course gave the delays so now I am out until September before we have another hearing date and this will only lead to getting a final hearing date.

If its cloudy outside this judge will grant a delay it is just amazing. I honestly now have lost count of how many delays they have received. To think my final hearing was scheduled for September of last year. And I will be lucky now if I get a final hearing date in December.

She apparently has been obsessed with getting the house back I think mainly because she has so much stuff she has no where to go with it all. My lawyer wrote up an agreement to give her the home and I sign off on it figure if it gets this divorce going ok. The equity in the home will also pay the alimony she would receive.

Team stbx receives the paperwork and now she refuses to sign until she inspects the house. Lawyers doing what lawyers do take 10 days and 9 phones calls to arrange a time for the inspection. Guess who didn’t show up for the home inspection at the arranged time? We now have spent a week and countless calls and lawyer letters back and forth trying a “re-do” on the inspection. I figure between the two of us we have spent a grand on this nonsense so she can look at a house she lived in for 15+ years.

We originally agreed I would be out by the end of September when the lease on her apartment runs out. Last week her atty now wanted the date moved to the 15th and now yesterday he wants the end of august. He keeps moving the date up yet we cant get her here to look at the house to finally agree and sign the papers to take possession.

Im sure she has enjoyed the drama of all this but even the lawyers are growing increasingly tired of it all even though they are getting paid.
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post #58 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 04:13 AM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Sorry for you man.
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post #59 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 08:34 AM
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

So so sorry. Dealing with something similar.

You are horrible so she can justify.

Her inner voice finally won and she's feeding it. Be glad you don't have kids.

I was in years 21/26. Be glad you know now, all you can do is pick up and move on.

There is no reason to try one more time. It will drive her away and honestly... you don't know this now... but you want her away.

It's so so hard to move on but it's all you can do.

I've went from living and hoping I wouldn't die to being dead and wondering if I'll ever live again.
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post #60 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 02:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by LBHmidwest View Post
So so sorry. Dealing with something similar.

You are horrible so she can justify.

Her inner voice finally won and she's feeding it. Be glad you don't have kids.

I was in years 21/26. Be glad you know now, all you can do is pick up and move on.

There is no reason to try one more time. It will drive her away and honestly... you don't know this now... but you want her away.

It's so so hard to move on but it's all you can do.
Not looking to try one more time, that train left the station a long time ago now. Im not even planning on being at the home for the inspection, I have made arrangement for other people to be at the house in case she actually shows up this time.

Im going fishing, I dont feel like being part of her self-made drama.
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