how do I at least make one last attempt - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

User Tag List

 335Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #61 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 02:30 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 12
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by LongWalk View Post
Hospitalization is the only solution
is ther really no way she could be legally comitted?


Quote:
Originally Posted by LongWalk View Post
Hang in their, Honcho. You've tried to help her. You could not have done more.

All you can do is ride it out.
holy crap, what a ride...


Quote:
Originally Posted by honcho View Post
Her attorney also again tried to get more alimony stating I forced her to quit her job because I put pressure on all the customers and staff to hate her and like me. How long do lawyers have to practice these speeches so they don’t break out laughing halfway thru is my question. s…..
At what point do her attornies get tired of this? They are people too.


Quote:
Originally Posted by honcho View Post
Im going fishing, I dont feel like being part of her self-made drama.

Good Idea! Can I come?

FisharnEked is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 06:44 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
honcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,622
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Well the home inspection drama finally got done this afternoon. I caught some perch and bluegill in between calls from the sheriffs dept.

She insisted on having them present and police wanted to schedule a new time to do the inspection. Told them it wasn’t my problem we had a time arranged the people who were at the home for me could only stay a short time and its taken 2 lawyers over two weeks just go get the vital inspection time done I wasn’t going to be there anyway so they were just wasting time.

The deputy knew this was a waste of time, told me she was calling and going ballistic all morning on the phone with them because of the intense fear of me etc etc. They didn’t want to come and told me that on the phone as they have grown so tired of this act with her.

She arrived and wanted to spend all afternoon here, the deputy told her 20 minutes max. She asked the cop to sweep the house for listening devices. He just rolled his eyes and told her the clock was running according to the people I had at the house. As expected she made all sorts of damage claims and took pictures, she complained that I didn’t replace burnt out lightbulbs, yes very important stuff.

She became unglued when the realized the kitchen was just like it was the day she left, we were in the middle of remodeling it when she left and filed. Why she thought I would finish and spend the money is beyond me. Its just like the day she left.

Deputy told her time was up, she then started ranting that I must have found out her phone number and I could now track her because he didn’t sweep the house like she asked. The person who brought my stbx quickly shuffled her into the car to leave at this point. Deputy called me up, explained what had happened and apologized to me for the ordeal and reaffirmed to me, they realize which person is having “issues”.


So my friends got a good laugh, the sheriffs dept wasted time for nothing again and I caught dinner. She didn’t get to make the dramatic scene she wanted I guess, not really sure what she thought she accomplished today. Sure the lawyers will have a funfilled day tomorrow listening to her. The part I still don’t get is the fear of me yet she wants the house. Its not like I am going to forget where the house is.
honcho is offline  
post #63 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 07:20 PM
Member
 
LongWalk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 11,200
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Paranoia. She is ill.

Her lawyer is doing her a disservice by prolonging this.
LongWalk is offline  
 
post #64 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 09:09 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by LongWalk View Post
Paranoia. She is ill.

Her lawyer is doing her a disservice by prolonging this.
Honcho she is messed up your lawyer has to play hard ball and end this bs.
tom67 is offline  
post #65 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 09:39 PM
Member
 
happy as a clam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,445
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Honcho, what an ordeal you've gone through. You must feel like you are stuck in a bad dream.

Someone needs to have this woman evaluated at a psych ward. Isn't there a county agency you can call to tell them she is becoming a threat to her OWN safety (not to mention yours?!)

It made me sad when you stated that she told you "you were the love of her life" only 2 weeks before this all started.

I have read that stopping Lexapro abruptly (or any psychotropic medication for that matter) can cause a psychotic break. It's not common, but can definitely happen. Can you talk to her original doctor to see if he can intervene?

"Love is chemicals masquerading as choices!"
~ Sandfly
happy as a clam is offline  
post #66 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 10:39 PM
Member
 
LBHmidwest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Camelot, duh
Posts: 618
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

The important part, you caught fish!

I've went from living and hoping I wouldn't die to being dead and wondering if I'll ever live again.
LBHmidwest is offline  
post #67 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 11:12 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by LBHmidwest View Post
The important part, you caught fish!

Glass half full.
tom67 is offline  
post #68 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 11:17 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
honcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,622
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by LongWalk View Post
Paranoia. She is ill.

Her lawyer is doing her a disservice by prolonging this.
No kidding and I have mentioned this several times to my lawyer. All her lawyer has done is fuel her paranioa with the delays and promises of the brass ring at the end which will never happen.
He is legendary around these parts for these tactics and all he has managed to do is fuel her anger which is so stupid to do with people with "issues". Of course this makes him lots of money and that is all he wants. He will milk every possible nickel out of her.

The problem with playing hardball is you need a judge to go along with any of it. The only decision he will make is granting delays. This of course is one of the inherent problems with no fault 50/50 divorces is the lawyer have no real incentive to work out an agreement. If they cant a judge will do it. The judge doesn't want to so we spin round and round in circles and the lawyers rack up billing time.
honcho is offline  
post #69 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 11:40 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
honcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,622
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by happy as a clam View Post
Honcho, what an ordeal you've gone through. You must feel like you are stuck in a bad dream.

Someone needs to have this woman evaluated at a psych ward. Isn't there a county agency you can call to tell them she is becoming a threat to her OWN safety (not to mention yours?!)

It made me sad when you stated that she told you "you were the love of her life" only 2 weeks before this all started.

I have read that stopping Lexapro abruptly (or any psychotropic medication for that matter) can cause a psychotic break. It's not common, but can definitely happen. Can you talk to her original doctor to see if he can intervene?
It is near impossible to get someone committed, the mentally unstable have rights and unless she takes a shot at me or tries to run me over with a car it wont happen.

My lawyer has petitioned the court to have her ruled incompetent but hers of course is fighting this so we have more delays. At least if ruled incompetent the state would assign a guardian and get the divorce done.
honcho is offline  
post #70 of 414 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 11:52 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by honcho View Post
It is near impossible to get someone committed, the mentally unstable have rights and unless she takes a shot at me or tries to run me over with a car it wont happen.

My lawyer has petitioned the court to have her ruled incompetent but hers of course is fighting this so we have more delays. At least if ruled incompetent the state would assign a guardian and get the divorce done.
The movie "divorcecorp" sums it up.
Do not watch all of it if it triggers you but oh what a farce.

tom67 is offline  
post #71 of 414 (permalink) Old 08-17-2014, 03:33 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
honcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,622
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Well after the vital home inspection her lawyer went quiet for a couple of weeks. She had a laundry list of problems with the home which I had already told my lawyer to be prepared for.

When we owned a duplex she used to always accuse tenants of all sorts of damage and nonsense to hold the security deposits and it was always silly small stuff no one really cared about so I figured she would pull the same with our home.

Her lawyers response was almost comical. She will finally agree to take the home at the price we have agreed upon for months however she wants me to spend about 10k to finish the kitchen remodel we were in the middle of when she left. If I do that she wont sue me for the mystery damage to the home. It was just a joke like my entire divorce has been.

The home value was based on what the house looked like the day she left, all the apprasials everything have been based on this, not after I remodel. I asked them if they wanted me to put a roof on it also since I am supposed to be this generous. The judge would never order this, her lawyer knows this. I have a buyer who will pay our agreed upon price, I would keep the house for the agreed upon price and for months “team stbx” agreed, now once its actually time to sign the paperwork she wont and finds yet another reason to make a mess out of something.

You really think her lawyer at some point would just get sick of playing games on junk he can never win and get her to finish.
honcho is offline  
post #72 of 414 (permalink) Old 08-17-2014, 05:07 AM
Member
 
LongWalk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 11,200
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

I would file a complaint against him to the bar association for unethical conduct. As your witnesses you have law enforcement officers who can be deposed to state that on numerous occasions your ill wife has wasted their time requesting protection from delusional fears.

Although you are headed for divorce, you have always hoped that you wife could get medical treatment. If her lawyer had his client's best interests in mind, he would not drag out the divorce, which has become a fixation.

I think your wife's lawyer will be able to defend himself, but nonetheless a complaint against him is a bit of unpleasantness that he may find irksome.
LongWalk is offline  
post #73 of 414 (permalink) Old 08-17-2014, 11:31 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
honcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2,622
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Quote:
Originally Posted by LongWalk View Post
I would file a complaint against him to the bar association for unethical conduct. As your witnesses you have law enforcement officers who can be deposed to state that on numerous occasions your ill wife has wasted their time requesting protection from delusional fears.

Although you are headed for divorce, you have always hoped that you wife could get medical treatment. If her lawyer had his client's best interests in mind, he would not drag out the divorce, which has become a fixation.

I think your wife's lawyer will be able to defend himself, but nonetheless a complaint against him is a bit of unpleasantness that he may find irksome.
I have mentioned this several times to my lawyer that he should start looking into doing this just to start pushing to get this divorce done.
honcho is offline  
post #74 of 414 (permalink) Old 08-18-2014, 05:30 AM
Member
 
LongWalk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 11,200
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Don't build up your legal bill. Simply look up the American Bar Association Code of conduct. Read the ethical guidelines and make up some true accusation against him in calm expository language. Talk to the police whom you remember.

Ask for copies of her reports against you. There were many. When a person is bothering the police and wasting the taxpayers hard earned money, then your ill estranged wife is harming the public interest. Her lawyer is abetting this behavior.

How many times has she made paranoid statements to the authorities? Photo copy these as evidence to support your complaint. For her lawyer to humor your wife's insanity to build up billable hours is pathetic. It is most certainly not in her interests.

Copy you lawyer with your complaint. Don't ask a lawyer to rat our another lawyer.
LongWalk is offline  
post #75 of 414 (permalink) Old 08-18-2014, 07:16 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 7,058
Re: how do I at least make one last attempt

Can you file some kind of ethics violation on her lawyer ? He/She seems to be exploiting her mental illness for money.
warlock07 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
most likely a failed R attempt QBall_1981 Reconciliation 44 03-20-2014 07:02 AM
One LAST attempt?? FrustratedFL Going Through Divorce or Separation 8 09-27-2011 03:04 PM
1st attempt at help gembob20 General Relationship Discussion 2 09-19-2011 09:36 AM
Do I Attempt To Intervene? chrs0111 Relationships and Addiction 7 02-26-2010 12:03 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome