Re: how do I at least make one last attempt
You never saw yourself as a player. Haha. There are plenty of guys like you.
Go to the gym or take up a sport. Being fit will give you confidence.
Also, you have a job. That is a major attraction for women. A guy who is functional. Remember that woman want to be chased. They want sex. The worst thing that can happen when you pursue a woman is that she turns you down. A sense of humor is key. If you chase a woman and she plays hard to get, but you can still smile, then she may reconsider. When a guy who is shot down is destroyed and it shows on his face, then you are out of the game.
Also, try inviting women to coffee just to talk about anything (not your ex, though). Show interest in what they say. It doesn't have to lead to anything. Once you don't put pressure on yourself, you will not be anxious.