04-16-2010, 09:06 AM
Join Date: Apr 2010
| | Wife wants out of the marriage
I met my wife almost 4 years ago. We hit it off right away and were living together within a couple months. She was pretty wild before she met me. She was 17 at the time and enjoyed house parties and going to clubs. I was the oposite and she adjusted to what I liked. She was kissed by some guy a party 2 months into our relationship, because she was really drunk at some house party and thats when I basically stopped her from seeing her friends if it was house parties or clubs. She was very upset, but accepted it. I said if you guys wanna do anythign else fine, and she told me thats all her friends do. I don't like tatoos or smoking and voiced my subtle opinions. Smoking wasn't really an issue, but tatoos were. After a year of living together I was going to join the Airforce to support her, and we got married (probably early), because of it. A couple months after getting married we planned to have our daughter, who is with me right now. I was discharged early and we coudn't afford to live in california anymore. We left all of our friends and family and moved to Iowa, because I had some family that would take us in and get us on our feet. And we did get our own place and support ourselves. We've been in Iowa 2 Years now, about 8 months ago we moved back in with our sisters to have a bigger place. Lots of drama in that place and it stressed us out. I've relized as time went on intimate life died down, and we didn't have as much small talk. Within the last 2 months she was stressed about a house we were buying, which I found out she never wanted to even have. I got depressed with where we were and played video games to cope and she would go out or go on the computer. When she would go out shed stay out till 2am or later and then come home and we'd fight. She eventually did come home at a decent hour. She explained her staying out so late as her escape from being a mother, a wife, and just being 21 again! A week before she left me about 4/2, she came home from a friends house crying and told me how much she loves me and she wants to make our marriage work. I was upset and didn't respond as I should have. Then last friday we were going to go out and have a good day. I told her that morning that my family is stressing me out and everyone things shes cheating on me, but I believe her and know she needs this to be happy. She got cold right away, didn't want to go out. And later that day she woke up from a nap and told me we need to talk. She said I love you, but I don't want to be with you anymore, and I don't care about you. She said she's been sacrificing for a long while now to keep me happy and now its time for her to be selfish and take care of herself. She left in a motel I agreed to pay for it. She is already moving into an apartment this monday. I have made the typical mistakes aguing, begging, saying I'll do anything, asking for the one thing I can do to even if its to get us talking again. The only time she does text is to ask when we will split items, or to talk about finances. I can tell you anything else you need, I know this is long .... I havn't been the best husband. I've been lazy lately, and our lives did get boring. Same old dates "Movies, Shopping, or Dinner". I am lost with what to do. . . She hasn't said she wants a divorce. She doesn't know yet what she wants, but right now its not me.