onelonelymom

I have thought about volunteering, just never done it. I might have to think long and hard on that. That is a good idea. Thank you LIL.

addie

i know you said you were the one to leave, but di dyou try everything possible to save your marriage befor eyou just gave up. i dont think you ever really fall out of love with someone. if you ever really were in love wtih him then you probably stil are and you are jsut so hurt that you hid it away. you ahve to talk things out and live every day working on your family as a whole. you should jsut give up on each other so easy. if you were ever truly inlove you can always fall back into love again. you have feelings for a reason adn you love him for a reason. you fell for him for reasons and im sure those reasons are still there. look back and see where things went wrong. i guarentee you will pretty much see it was communication. i think you should give yoru marriage everything you have.

onelonelymom

Addie-I really do not think I tried everything possible, I thought I did, but I don't think I did. I think I was just hurt and so angered I acted on it when I should have just stepped away and talked to him. We are talking now, but the papers are filed. Part of me wants to go back and the other part doesn't, but I could not tell you which out weighs the other. I do still love him very much, but I think we both just fell out love. I miss him dearly, he is not the best person in the world and is controlling, but he is so sweet and kind and loving.
I hate the fact that I acted on impulse instead of talking to him and I think that is tearing me up inside.
I have been questioning if I ever was truly in love with him or just in love with the idea of getting married. I don't know which it is or might be both.
Thank you Addie, I am going to do a lot of thinking. Your post has got me to thinking about things. Hugs to you!

addie

good luck with everything. and know it is never to late. that has always been my least favorite phrase. believe in yourself.

Lyn

It's difficult to know that God is there when we are suffering. I've had a recent attitude towards God, myself, due to the discovery of my husband's affair. I found myself wondering if God cared for me at all, but I though of my children and how my ability to make something easier for them is not necessarily a good thing. God making something easier for me is not necessarily a good thing and now I am realizing that even though we thought we had a great marriage and an affair could never happen to us, we are learning even more about one another and what people are telling me is turning out to be true, and that is that a marriage which survives this comes out stronger.

Life is hard. It just is, but although life is hard, it is not all about loss and it has taken me many years to be able to say that, having lived a difficult enough life that my friends tell me they don't know how I've done it. We endure because, what is the alternative?

My own experience has been that when I feel abandoned by God (a couple of times in my life, now) that I'm not really interested in trying to chase Him down to find out what the deal is. He's wherever He is, I'm where I am, I'll get back to Him. Maybe.

Feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are and if you are having trouble hearing God through the emotional chaos you are living in, don't you think God understands that better than anyone? God is not an unreasonable sadist who enjoys our suffering and he doesn't expect us to be heroic; remember even Jesus expressed anguish at not feeling the presence of His heavenly Father, so do yourself a favor and let up on yourself...you are going through enough.

Best,

Lyn

onelonelymom

Addie-Thank you! I will try to believe in myself. I will also keep in mind that it is never too late and that is so true. Thank you!

Lyn-Thank you! I love your words and they are so true. God is the most understanding person and he will be here for me when I need him and I am ready for him. Thank you so much!

Hugs to both of you!