05-02-2010, 03:53 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In a house, or in a clinic.
| | Re: Pouring Salt On The Wound
Sounds like you're in the "schizo" phase of breaking up whattodo17. I'd say give it a week or two, and he'll be speaking with you in more conciliatory tones. I'm not sure what that'll change though; as in another few days the wheel will spin again and it's bound to land on "heart stomping".
I know you feel "wronged", but you know what; if we we're to ask him he'd likely say he feels "wronged" as well. The sad truth is most likely you're both right. However, that being said one of you will likely be "more right" than the other.
So what are you're thoughts on this...80% him 20% you? What did he need from you that you didn't provide? In my case I neglected my wife. I was just never really there for her. I provided. I worked hard. I kept myself in excellent shape. I was a good father to our kids. I just never wanted to really do anything with her.
I didn't really respect her. I did in the beginning of our relationship, but then I surpassed her in every aspect of life. At the end, we were such different people it makes my heart weep.
I didn't listen when she "told me things", because her "feelings" weren't logical. They were inconsistent and poorly thought out. I felt attacked because she isn't a very articulate person, and often times she has difficulties in conveying things with subtlety. Well in retrospect I have learned they were still her feelings, and I ignored them at my peril.
Have you even thought about this whattodo17? If not, I honestly recommend that you do. It likely is the only thing that could possibly save your relationship, and it's definitely the thing that'll keep your next relationship from dying. Either way you win.