Here we go. At the end of April I got hit with the "Legal Separation papers"!!! I have since challenged what she is asking, which is my right.
It is your right to challenge, especially if this is your first notice. Just think of this as her "first offer."
I have asked to talk with her about what we can agree on, and been shunned twice.
That is her right, to not interact with you and only through her attorney, but it's an expensive proposition on her part because every letter she sends is $250 minimum. My advice is to communicate minimally through attorneys. It's rather pointless. Just go get advised on your rights and go from there.
It is starting to make me angry.
Don't get angry. It's just a business transaction. That's all.
I am NOT going to be a part time father... I am NOT giving up my home... I will give $$$ for my kids and the needs of my home.
Okay, let's give you some Divorce 101 here.
1. Divorce sucks. I'm sorry you are going through this and hopefully you reconcile but I am assuming not.
2. The money is directed at who is the custodian of the kids. Now, that is usually the mother but not always. Joint "physical" custody can be anything that's arranged or what a judge rules, whatever is in the best interest of the children. I do think the courts will give you and her "part-time" physical custody, if it's best. No matter if you have them 182.5 days/year or 1 day, year, you are not a "part-time father", you are always their father.
3. Based on #2, if you divorce, you WILL be a part-time parent. Refer back to #1.
4. The house usually, usually operative word, goes to who the primary parent is, because that's where the kids reside.
That's it. This separation is HER idea and I don't agree with what she wants.
From a legal standpoint, it doesn't matter if she's the complainer or the complaintant (I think those are the terms). . .what she wants or is entitled really usually mostly centers around the kids. I left my wife but she was the one who files. It doesn't matter.
Remember. . .the judge doesn't care if she slept with the NY Yankees and you slept with the Las Vegas Rockettes. They want to make sure the children are cared for. (in no fault states it doesn't matter - infidelty which is what most states are going towards).
They just won't care about your drama or her drama. They've heard it all.
Is it me or isn't an agreement supposed to be arrangement that we BOTH agree on?
That's probabably what will happen but if you can't agree, than it's what a judge rules in which case you have a binding court order.
I love her with all of my heart and continue to hold out hope for us to get back together, however, I will not give up what is rightfully mine just to satisfy her wants right now.
As you shouldn't.
I have read posts and feel bad for all the people that have to go through this. Whether you are the husband or the wife, noone should be treated unfairly and left alone questioning everything you do or have done. I am taking steps to improve myself as a person, father and husband, IN THAT ORDER!!!! I am sorry about the rant, but I am losing my mind. Am I wrong for not signing what she is asking?
No, in fact, I really doubt a judge would certify such a thing unless you had been duly legally advised anyway. Remember, divorce attorneys try to rattle your cages and they rattled yours sucessfully.
IT was just a first offer. Tell her you reject it.