I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't - Page 4
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Going Through Divorce or Separation » I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-05-2010, 07:12 PM   #46 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Quote:
Originally Posted by Affaircare View Post
Hey did you see Tanelorn's post over on cmf's thread? I'm going to tell you about the same thing he told her.

I am headed over there right now


We are not psychics so we can not tell "WHY" your disloyal is doing/saying the things he's doing/saying. On the one hand, the fog may be thinning and some light may be shining through and he *just may be* beginning to see that this was foolish! On the other hand, it may all be a ruse to see if he can guilt you into money--we can't be sure. Here's what we CAN tell though: just like we told you, the A is about 99% fantasy and he is beginning to see that reality SUX and is not at all what he THOUGHT it would be like.

Very very true. I could tell he was wound up in just a fantasy and it very sad he choose that over his marriage/family but he did.

I would suggest a couple things for you specifically. As always the requirements for "coming home" don't change:

1) He has to write a No Contact letter to the OW and give it to you--you send it.

I can say this is something he is not willing to do. I could be totally wrong but I am not seeing it. He will say that there is no reason because they were/are just friends and it could affect his work. He will not want to involve her in all of it. The sad thing is THIS is a deal breaker for me. I have tried to wrap my head around this and letting them still even remind friends but what happens the moment something silly happens is he going to just run back to her to 'vent' or what happens if the tables turn and she does start to like him in return I am not willing to put myself or my children through this again because HE wants to not be not tell her that they can't be 'friends'.

What exactly goes in a 'no contact' letter?


2) He has to agree to never, ever contact the OW again ever. In your instance, since they work together I'd say a good step on this road would be putting in the request for transfer. If it bites and is hard on him...well that's part of the price he has to pay for committing adultery at work huh?

I actually brought this up to him before he left and he pretty much told me NO WAY was he transferring because he likes where he is. Another issue I will have is he invited this OW to something he does weekly with his friends he justified it by saying she was also friends with the other people but they didn't lie to their gf/wives and disappear for 3 hrs and then lie who they were with. Nor did they go out to a movie, dinner, ice cream with your child and tell your child to not tell their mom!

3) He has to agree to give you access to ALL of his email addresses, accounts, facebook, cell phone, chat IMs, forums...everything. I personally deleted all mine except one personal one to which my Dear Hubby has the password and can see it any day. The idea is that you are free to check up on him and verify his honesty--and yep he lost the right to "secrecy" by lying to you about the A and hiding it all.

This is one thing that isn't too much of a problem he doesn't really go online and I am actually about 100x's more tech savy then him. He knows this... The big problem is the texting/calling he was deleting messages so I couldn't see them.

4) He should agree to both individual counseling and marital counseling, and if it were me, I'd recommend that you want to see him willingly go and work on himself for a while before you let him come home.

Yes and a big Yes

Now, this is just my word to you--there are two things he is not very likely to do so don't make a big deal about getting these things. He will probably NOT grovel and beg for forgiveness--he may not even admit it was "wrong" etc. for a while. This is because in his mind, he was hurting for a long time (when he was vulnerable to the A) and you weren't willing to change so he may have resentment. AND... he will probably not act all loving and happy to be back. This is partly because he's going through withdrawal from not having the "love-zing" and he'll be bummed over losing that. So don't expect those things and you'll be going into it with your eyes open!

I think I have read this about 20x's because it is something I have really been thinking about really hard the last couple of days. I was trying to wrap my mind around what happens if he did come home if I could handle him being distant or thinking he came home for about million reason other then thinking I could make him happy. I am trying to figure out if I can handle this(well I know I could) but how long I will be able to. I started really working on myself before he left and made that the main focus he unfortunately didn't do the same I want my family back but I want it to be healthy for not only myself but him too!

So figure out what you would need in order to have him come back; let him know you are willing to have him come home; and actually have him DO those things for a while first. (Disloyals are notorious for "promising" to go to counseling and then "forgetting" or "I'm trying but it's not working"...so see the changes first and then reconcile.)
I am going to have to see actions before he comes back I just have to. I can't play the victim in all of this but I also can't make myself one by letting him come back without changing. I am willing to to give him 100% of myself and I expect nothing less from him. I am willing to truly work on us but if he is not then it will get no where. I tried that before he left where I was trying so hard and he wasn't and I know it doesn't work.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-05-2010, 10:58 PM   #47 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Well it is over....I am done.

Today he had our oldest child and he was going to spend the night but instead he decided he was going to go out with the other women. The one that all of this started with that he lied about going out with several times and once with our child. That the texting all happen and everything else with the EA.

I knew something was up when he said he couldn't spend the night and he wouldn't tell me so I kept asking and he told me it was none of my business that he just wanted to go out. When I pressed he said he only knew of one of the people going out and finally said it was her. That he didn't want to sit in his hotel room and just dwell about having no money and wanted to have fun. He then said he was getting the short end of the stick and that now I probably wont work with him about anything(he was meaning the $$$) I told him that if he had $$ to go out he should of had money to pay for stuff and he said she was paying for everything tonight and the he only had $16 which is true.....I checked.

I am just done I will not continue this game with him. I will not let him destroy me anymore. I am done talking about money and everything with him he has made his choice it is very clear. Today is a month since he left when I found him texting her in the morning after he went on a date with her and our child. OPPS I mean with his friend it wasn't a date.....

From now on when he brings in the kids I am going to be conveniently in the other room. I am going to do everything via text with him because honestly I am not going to put myself in this situation with him again.

I will not let this break me I am going to get stronger and be happy I guess that means moving on. I will no longer waste anymore tears on someone that sheds none for me. I hope for his sake this friendship was worth it. I wish them many years of happiness.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2010, 11:12 PM   #48 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 12:47 AM   #49 (permalink)
cmf
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 302
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

He has been all over the place this week. She will quickly get sick of paying for everything . He might be saying all this to get you to give him money by making you jealous. He sounds like he is self destucting
cmf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 01:19 AM   #50 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

He is self destructing and honestly it is very very sad this is not like him if anything it is the EXACT opposite of who he is. I know for a fact he is going out with her tonight and she is buying and good for her...I hope she shows him a great time. She is older then him and has children that he could barely be old enough to father they are older teens.

Jealous does not work on me and if that is the angle he is taking it it is/will fail I will not compete. I am a grown up and will not play games like this. It is cruel.

He has less then $20 to his name and honestly I don't know how he is going to make it and like he said tonight it is 'none of my business' I know he has no food and like I said in my previous post I think he is self sabotaging himself and is digging himself a very deep hole. He had the NERVE to tell me tonight on the phone that he had the short end of the stick financially. I will not give him a red cent AT ALL.

I will no longer shed tears for someone that will not shed them for me.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 02:15 AM   #51 (permalink)
Member
 
Affaircare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,631
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Permission to speak freely, finally. This is me talking to you woman to woman and not like an infidelity coach okay?

In my first marriage my exH did pretty much what yours is doing and it was the hardest thing EVER to watch him go from a successful million dollar business, a 4000 sqft. home with a pool, a wife who loved and cared very much, and two children who OF COURSE loved him (he's their dad)...to live in hotel room with nothing, lose our business, almost put our home into foreclosure, DUMP his own children and treat them like dirt (*THEM*! Innocent children), and act heartless and abusive toward me. And for what? A woman with four children by four different men who dumped him one month after I finally told him I was done.

He lost EVERYTHING we worked for more than a decade to gain, for a woman whom everyone (but him) could see was using him and didn't have the morals to commit. I tried for a couple years to do Plan A and Plan B and anything I could think of and he just would not end it. Years later (and I mean like 5 years), he did finally admit to me that he behaved poorly, but still by then it mainly left my heart cold.

So yeah--it's hard. It is REALLY hard because you care about him! Yet he's the one choosing it and wow--how sad. I would suggest that the bootie calls be a thing of the past until he's demonstrated he's there out of love and caring for you and not "cuz he's horny" and the OW doesn't sleep with him yet.

MAN, I am so ... disappointed. I'm sure you're crushed. I'm so sorry, finallyseewhy. I'm very sad to say that he's still heavily involved in his affair, and if anything, is thinking only of himself and how to get more money. (HUG) Seriously, I'm so sorry.
__________________
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at Affaircare.

The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this!

Last edited by Affaircare; 06-06-2010 at 02:20 AM.
Affaircare is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 02:38 AM   #52 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Affaircare thank you I honestly mean that!

It is funny because tonight I knew something was up him NOT letting our child stay is NOT like him. I in my gut knew something was up and in all of this mess it is the only thing I have been able to trust. Even on the phone he tired to paint me as a 'bad person' for asking him who he was going with.

I didn't cry after I got off the phone....not a single tear. I kept telling myself I was going to be strong and I was going to get stronger and I was GOING TO BE OK.

He is sabotaging himself and I will not let him take me down with him. I can't and wont. I will not let my children be brought down on his burning ship.

Am I disappointed yes, absolutely! I was willing to fight so hard for his man and family but I just can't fight for someone that isn't willing to fight or even just let ME fight.

There will be no more sex at all and I will bring it too a very harsh and real reason why. Up until this point I was sure he was not having sex with anyone else now I am not sure. I will NOT put myself at risk for a few minutes of 'fun'. I don't know what is doing with this OW and I am not going to risk myself because of it. I would be very surprised if he doesn't have sex with her tonight or at least try.

There was a blur of a moment after I got off the phone with him I considered calling her(I have her number) and even thought about calling his HR department on Monday where they both work. But you know what I am not going to let him bring the ugliness out in me. I am not going to give him a reason to blame or hate me. I will not give him the power over me. I am going to be happy....I wanted to be happy with him and he didn't want that so I need to look forward. I will be OK and I know this.

He is in his own fantasy world right now and I really don't know if I can bring him out of it. Things are going to be really rough on him the next few days for him money wise and I have decided tomorrow when he picks up the kids....if he still plans on it and flat out asking what his plans our next week days/times for the kids so everyday isn't a limbo. Then I am letting his calls go to voice mail. Until he comes out of this fog which I am imagining will be sometimes I will no longer chit-chat, have sex, or listen to him 'vent' about daily life/money.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 09:15 AM   #53 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

I forgot to add something to my message above last night. You know what the really messed up thing in all of this is. He is went out with her more then he has brought me out in the last few years. Last night I am pretty sure they went dancing and he never has brought me dancing! It makes me sick probably what he did last night, but you know what I guess I should thank him. Because like he said last night about dwelling well I am not going to be doing that anymore either.


I have a question today when he comes over to get the boys I was planning on really not saying anything about anything. Should I flat out ask him when he is going to be picking them up next week so he doesn't have to call every single day or is this going to be seen as me being pissed off and trying to punish him? The last month he tells me 'I don't know I will call you' which pretty much puts me in limbo everyday.

Last edited by finallyseewhy; 06-06-2010 at 09:44 AM.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 03:16 PM   #54 (permalink)
Member
 
Affaircare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,631
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

I would suggest using W-T-F-S for this as well:

When you "just call me" when and/or if you feel like spending time with the children,

I think it is very inconvenient and puts me on hold all day waiting for you,

I feel disrespected and "at your beck and call" as if my time is not just as valuable as yours,

Sooo... I am going to request a set schedule for your time with the children. I'm no longer willing to just "be available" when you feel like it, so if you can not set a schedule, I may or may not be available to take the call or have them ready for you. You'd have to take the chance because I'm not sitting around waiting for your call anymore. [Make up this part to something that is completely convenient for you:] I would request that you have a visit on (Wednesday) night and Saturday night. That way we each have one weekend night free and you get to see them one night a week.

Now between you and me and the fencepost this request sends several messages:

1) It will make the affair less convenient if he can't go out with OW "because he has his kids." Thus, it would help bring some reality to his affair.

2) Even if he is a selfish and poor father, he has responsibilities to the children, and again YOU have had to completely rearrange your life to have them and provide coverage--it is utterly reasonable for HIM to also be a parent and bring yet MORE reality to his affair (aka--he will have times he is REQUIRED to be a parent)!

3) If he is making the choice of the OW over you and the kids, then you are no longer willing to be at his beck and call. He can see IF IT WORKS FOR YOU not the other way around.

At this point I'm not sure he sees the real you at all other than as someone who could do this or that "for him."
__________________
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at Affaircare.

The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this!

Last edited by Affaircare; 06-06-2010 at 09:06 PM.
Affaircare is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 07:20 PM   #55 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Affaircare a big thank you again!!!

Today when he picked up the kids I texted him that I asked him what was his next day off and he told me Wednesday so I texted him back that I needed him to have them the next few Saturdays. He asked why? I texted back the kids needed lunch(to diverte away from why he asked why.....a big part of me wanted to say, 'none of your business like he told me BUT I didn't) then I texted him, 'OK, just plan on having them Saturdays & Wednesdays as your days next week'

You are very right with what you told me above I have felt as if I was at his 'beckon call' He is a good dad so I figured it was the best thing to do was to give him unlimited access to the house when ever he wanted. Unfortunately what it has done is pretty much put my life on HOLD until after 12-1 everyday until I hear from him.

I picked Saturday because he is usually off. It will put some strain on things because he has some stuff he usually does every week with a couple of friends(our oldest usually goes other then the time the OW went and wasn't allowed) & I am pretty sure the OW is off Saturdays so I guess he wont be able to go out with her then either.

Part of me thought it wasn't good to pick Saturday because I didn't want him to see me as 'punishing' him but it is the day that he can have the kids. Also I NEED to get out and today something that happens Saturday nights that I had begged him to do with me but never did so I am going to go do it! There is no need to sit in the house waiting for paint to dry.

A couple of my friends wanted me to go out to a bar/club but honestly I am not to this point. Also I have no interest in hooking up or dating anyone else. I am taking this time to work on myself so I can be a stronger mother and person.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 09:37 PM   #56 (permalink)
Member
 
Affaircare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,631
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Quote:
Today when he picked up the kids I texted him that I asked him what was his next day off and he told me Wednesday so I texted him back that I needed him to have them the next few Saturdays. He asked why? I texted back the kids needed lunch(to diverte away from why he asked why.....a big part of me wanted to say, 'none of your business like he told me BUT I didn't) then I texted him, 'OK, just plan on having them Saturdays & Wednesdays as your days next week'
Quick note, finallyseewhy--this is a note to point out something to you so you can grow as a person okay? You just did to him what he does to you and it drives you nuts. You didn't "respectfully request" that he have the kids Wednesday and Saturday...you TOLD HIM he would have them on those days.

I would like to point out the subtle difference between the two approaches.

When you W-T-F-S, you don't try to control them or tell them what to do or when to do it. You identify when something is not okay WITH YOU; you tell them both your thoughts and your feelings (so it's not blaming them, you are keeping it on you); and then you make a request that recognizes they are a valid human too and to which they are free to voluntarily say "yes" or "no" or "that won't work but this will..." This way you respect them and they respect you back--and mutual agreement is reached by both parties.

When you TELL HIM (or he tells you), you are trying to control him (or he, you) and tell him what to do or when to do it--or he's trying to tell you what to do or when to do it. Neither one is acceptable. Also you have not communicated what you think or feel, so he may or may not have any idea that you think "waiting until he calls" is inconvenient or that you feel disrespected and like your time isn't valuable. Finally by "telling" you do not treat the other person as if they are an equal partner and you don't give them the chance to say "yes" or "no" or offer an option that would work for them. There is not mutual agreement between equal parties--one is trying to have Power Over the other.

At this point if he's willing to take them Wednesdays and Saturdays, I would say it's not really worth doing it over or anything, except that you have not said out loud your thoughts and feelings so he'll never know...and yes I love the guys, but no they usually don't get hints or "he should just know." Nope that's part of the old power struggle way of doing things that got your marriage into trouble! So just tuck this away and next time, really try to remember it. In other words, live and learn for a new day.

Quote:
Part of me thought it wasn't good to pick Saturday because I didn't want him to see me as 'punishing' him but it is the day that he can have the kids. Also I NEED to get out and ... I am going to go do it! There is no need to sit in the house waiting for paint to dry.

A couple of my friends wanted me to go out to a bar/club but honestly I am not to this point. Also I have no interest in hooking up or dating anyone else. I am taking this time to work on myself so I can be a stronger mother and person.
One important reason why he needs to have the children on a somewhat set schedule is that you are an adult just as much as he is and you have a life and things to do and places to go and people to see just as much as he does. If this were to become a divorce, he can not depend on you to be the "live in sitter" while he does as he pleases, and just as you have arranged your schedule to adapt to the children, he can too--it is part of being a parent.

However, most importantly is that you do need some time to yourself and for yourself. When you don't have the children that would be an EXCELLENT time to go to your own personal counseling (if you think you need it), go to the bookstore and enjoy that latte and get a book just for you, go to a class or seminar (like...yoga or Tai Chi), or go to a support group so you can meet other women who are in your shoes and make some lady friends! I agree with you--this is NOT (let me repeat: NOT) the time for going to bars and picking up some new man! However, I know in some small towns the local bar is not a meat market but rather "the town social spot" and a place where people go, hang out, and talk--some drink a beer and some drink a coke and no one cares! If that's your bar...that's sort of different. But if your bar is the meat market--no, that's not the kind of person or man you want in your life anyway. You want a man who is kind, loving, gentle, thoughtful, committed and moral...right?

I hope some day that may describe your husband!
__________________
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at Affaircare.

The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this!

Last edited by Affaircare; 06-06-2010 at 09:42 PM.
Affaircare is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2010, 11:23 PM   #57 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Your very right and part of me was trying to control him by telling him what days. I was just thinking about that and I was trying to control him That was one of his biggest complaints when we were together too and I have done pretty good at not doing it lately but I guess I started to slip back into it.....I guess it is good I at least could see I was doing it right?

I need to get out and be an adult and just have time away to myself something I honestly haven't really done in years. I have embraced being a mom and I hate to say it but it has also sort of killed part of me. I need to learn to function outside the realm of 'mommy' The idea of going to a book store and just reading a book and drinking a latte brings a big smile to my face! I think I am going to have to do that. In the next few weeks I am going to be looking for a support group for women. I found one on meetup and I am going to inquire about it.

I live in a major metropolis so bars/clubs are well usually hook up places. The mere idea of going out and looking for someone else makes me sort of sick to my stomach. If in the end my marriage does not work. I spent 11 years in it and I figure I will need to spend some time(if not years) getting myself strong and healthy. I would not want to bring this baggage into another relationship/marriage. I don't want to have to do this again!

_____________________

Tonight when he dropped off the boys he had a mental break down and sort of cornered me so I couldn't walk away(the kids were there) He has no gas and a $1 to his name and he pretty much was asking me to give him some gas money! It is so had to see a person do this to himself I told him I felt as if he was self sabotaging himself and needed to get some help. This is NOT an man who doesn't have a good/great job. This is so out of the normal for him it is scary. He tried to tell me that I didn't care about him and he was giving me 2/3 of this check I just calmly responded, 'what did you think it was going to be like when you left your family? Did you think it was going to be different?' He was crying and honestly freaking out but I remained calm and didn't give him any money.

I don't know how he is going to make it to work back and forth he wont be able to. Is it really any concern of mine? Should I of given him a few dollars?
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2010, 01:00 AM   #58 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

I am having so much guilt right now for not giving him a few dollars I need to just stop and realize it is NOT my job anymore to bail him out. I shouldn't of let myself see him cry. I even started to call him and stopped. I need to realize him crying and telling me I don't care about him or that I he thought was his friend is just him trying to get under my skin.....it is working I just need to stop thinking about it and go to sleep.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2010, 03:11 AM   #59 (permalink)
Member
 
Affaircare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,631
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Just a note of support, finallyseewhy: I know it felt awful but you are doing the right thing. If you two WERE to divorce, the judge would order him to pay child support -AND- contribute to the child care and their health insurance and expenses! So even though he has mismanaged his part, that is not your concern. He could have chosen to see the light and come home, but he went out DANCING WITH THE OW just last night.

When he's whining about having $1 and needing gas money, ask him to ask the OW for cash. That would sure bring a "wake up call" of reality to that affair huh? Exactly how attractive is he going to look to miss whatzername when he has $1? Well that's the Love Extinguisher you've had to put up with for YEARS! LOL So don't let him get ya down. You're doing the right thing and for the right reasons. It is HIS choice to be gone and not share finances with you and he can come home ANY DAY HE CHOOSES to work with you on the marriage. Only trick is, now you won't take the crumbs he used to give you before.

You're smarter than that now.
__________________
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at Affaircare.

The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this!
Affaircare is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2010, 10:59 AM   #60 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 375
Default Re: I want you to tell me you love me so I can tell you I don't

Affaircare he is paying all of those expenses right now and that is one thing I started from the DAY he walked out the door I actually made him sign a custody agreement outlining all of it. He also knows that it is not an option to not pay it BUT I think he really thought I would 'help him out' all the time.

Its sort of funny because when he was crying and I asked him how he got out last night and he said that the OW put some gas in the car to get there. I then calmly asked why he didn't ask her to fill up his tank. He snapped and said that it would of been $60!! and that she wasn't going to pay him to go out with her(I sort of snickered inside) I then asked him that maybe he should ask for for some money if they are friends and all. That if he really was that short on gas he shouldn't of been running all around town.

Affaircare I am not willing to take crumbs or be a doormat. I will not ever again give myself to someone without them giving 100% of themselves to me

______

You know when he was crying in the back of my head to not start crying myself I thought about him grinding on this woman at a club and you know what....it worked it calmed me down and made me realize his priorities are messed up right now and I need to keep mine straight! I poured my heart out to him the day before and I thought we were having a break through and instead he decided to take 2 steps forward and 5 back.

Last edited by finallyseewhy; 06-07-2010 at 11:18 AM.
finallyseewhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
i was never in love with my wife but i thought love is not that important for living shazil The Ladies' Lounge 41 12-01-2013 08:11 AM
Husband loves me...but doesn't love love me??? YoungLoveHelp General Relationship Discussion 5 10-08-2011 03:45 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:22 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage