my daughter is 12 yrs old will be 13 in aug. he does make very good money 27.98 an hour to be exact he has very good insurance i have custody as of now and get child support but if i lose that i can not maintain my bills im scared i love my kids they tell me they want to live with me my youngest is 11 would the judge even ask them who they want to live with
To answer your question, in most states, to my understanding of the law, age 13 is reaching an age of "sentience" in that they can, if a judge will hear it, give input (not decide) on where they would like to live.
And judges very much don't like to "split" custody (let's say theoretically your 13 y.o. wanted to live with Dad and the 11 year old with you).
For instance, if they want to live with Dad because he let's them smoke pot and party, that's not happening under a reasonable judge's ruling. They can only give input until the age of not being minors (majority?).
Also. . .and I am only giving this advice as a father so this will be rather emotional. . .the statement "I love my kids" is kind of a platitude. I would hope so. I would hope the father loves them as well. I am not a fan of the new King Solomon type of custody where it's 50/50; I do think kids need a "home base."
That being said, I have asked my stb-x as my kids get older if they couldn't spend the summers with me, where I plan to "settle down" because there is loads of summer work for them and they can save for college and develop a work ethic (as well as lots of fresh salt air and exercise).
Like you she said, "I could never be without my kids for 10 weeks!!!" Mind you, I never said she couldn't visit. ..she could visit as much as she wants. Her extra parental presence would actually be welcome as long as they could work their summer job.
So, it's okay for me to visit but it's not okay for her? Because she loves her kids. Well of course you love them. Of course she loves them. I love mine and I am sure your husband loves his.
So. . .that being said, if he wants to see them more often and foster a second "home base" for them, I would hope you wouldn't stand in his way because of child support and you not being able to pay bills. If you can't pay bills, you need to reduce your lifestyle and/or increase your income.
Sorry. . .it's just faulty reasoning, on both of your parts. . .him wanting to "50/50 shared custody" to get out of child support and you wanting status quo so you can "keep child support." You sound both kind of guilty. I only pick on you because you are the one here, not him. . .I am just telling you that your kids are getting older and they may want Dad or need Dad
and they can float more easily. With toddlers and such, they need a stable home "nest" to be raised. Your kids are slowly leaving the nest, Mom.
Be prepared to adjust to that.