06-08-2010, 03:10 AM
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
| | Re: Soo stressed by his constant pressuring...
Originally Posted by BullyKisses
...He still will not give me any space to think though, he has been calling, texting, emailing, bringing flowers, telling me repeatedly what he is doing and how he feels and begging for couples counseling and to work it out.
...Any thoughts on how to get through to this immature, selfish, narcissistic ?
Sure! Turn off your cell, take the phone off the hook, and delete his emails. If that doesn't work, change your phone number, get a new cell phone and company, change your email, and change the locks on your door. I do realize that telling all your family and friends the new landline number or cellphone number would be mildly inconvenient, as it would be to change your email. But in the long run, it will end his continuous attempts at contact and begin the disentanglement process.
Since it sounds like a situation where some controlling abusive behavior is being exerted, I will caution you that this is very typical behavior for someone who was the abuser. He can and will do *ANYTHING* to get you back into the cycle of abuse...including making promises, threats, and more. So for now, keep yourself focused on yourself and your issues, and if you keep yourself on that track you'll be doing fine. If you stay on track, he may escalate to physical violence or threats to "get you to reconcile" and if he does that you do have the option of protective orders/restraining orders, but I'll be honest. Often women use those as a "legal weapon" and not as the protection they are supposed to provide. I EXTREMELY STRONGLY
advise against that!!!! It is a weapon of last resort only--long before that you should turn off our phone (I mean..take it off the hook) and don't open his emails (just delete them); then if you have to do it--change your number and your email address; and finally if you have no other options check with your counselor to see if the time is right for the last resort.
Last edited by Affaircare; 06-08-2010 at 03:14 AM.