Thank you so much. Your words ring some truth, a truth I have been avoiding. You are so right that I have been living in the past and my hopes for what I wanted...but lost.
I guess I am having a tough time with the failure of my marriage, and understanding how it falied in the manner it did...her being weak.
I am hoping for happiness, one like you have, but I get lost looking for it. I used to never use the word hope. I think it leaves room for doubt and failure.
I know I will get there, advice like yours helps me get down the path.
I still don't know how to view women, married women that is.
Funny thing, I was travelling this last week for work. I didn't feel the pain I felt before, but rather a haunting. I feel like the ghiost of my past is with me everywhere I go. I'm not scared of it anymore, just want it vacated from my presence.
Funny thing, I was travelling this last week for work. I didn't feel the pain I felt before, but rather a haunting. I feel like the ghiost of my past is with me everywhere I go. I'm not scared of it anymore, just want it vacated from my presence.
I understand that feeling.
I think in some ways everyone from our past is still with us in one way or another. Long passed away grandparents, great uncles and aunts, parents etc. They can be recalled instantly with a switch of our mind’s focus or simply by looking at a photograph. Then we can dwell on the memories we have of them and in that way they are still with us.
Those memories never leave us. I’m still in our home where my wife was and she’s everywhere here, in my memory. I’ve triggers all over the place that switch my mind into memories. But I’ve got comfortable with it and when the sadness comes I hold it for a while and then let it pass. I’ve to sell the place but I know she’ll come with me in my memories and I’m comfortable with that. One day I’ll just think on the good and I’ll be comfortable with that as well.
I do believe though that the more we move forward with our life, the more we do with ourselves the more our memories recede and the less they come back into our short term memory.
But what’s the old saying … Gone but never forgotten. Life is like that.
The holiday's suck. I was with friends, but felt totally alone. Thanksgiving was our holiday to travel together, just the two of us, or meet friends for dinner. All I thought about was her, I am terrified of Christmas, I will be alone again.
If anyone cares, the lies never end. They build on themselves, whether it is the original lie of your spouse, or the lie that you are now living. I am trying to not lie to myself any more, but everyone I know wants me to be happy, but it has been six months since my divorce was finallized and I am still sad and miserable. Yet, I act happy and pretend that I am no longer hurt, mad, and a little lost; proving that the lies only get worse. My X ruined my Christmas, texting me telling me to stop talking to her family...only making me more mad and sad.
Right when you think your life is getting back on track, moving forward it kicks you in the nuts! The "X" is causing issues again, see what kind of lies she tells the IRS. Just got a document I had to fill out because of her, oh joy!
Right when you think your life is getting back on track, moving forward it kicks you in the nuts! The "X" is causing issues again, see what kind of lies she tells the IRS. Just got a document I had to fill out because of her, oh joy!
Had similar from my ex. The lies, the deceit, still happening.
Just getting used to the BS from her.
You reopened your thread I joined TAm much later then the post about xmas but she doesn't get that right. If her family wants to talk to you that is their choice just hang up on her. Granted probaly not the best thing emotionaly but dont not talk to them because she said so.
I haven't heard my X's voice since August, just texts. I have given up on speaking to her family, the pain is to great. Sadly, I think she has convinces themand herself the divorce was my doing...just don't want to deal with that anymore. To all of you going through it now, get as much closure as you can now or as soon as it ends...being in my shoes sucks. Never confronting her lies, cheating, and quitting. I married a fighter, woman of character, a determined person, and I divorced a deceptive, weak alcoholic. A women that couldn't grow...now I am stuck in limbo asking why and how...in love with what I once had....Good luck everyone. It does get a little better, evryday, at least until you get sucked in.
Damn IRS...we'll see if lied, basically committing perjury to get out of paying her share of taxes. I still pay all of the tax bill, but she is trying to completely screw me!
I know for the fact that once in a relationship, when trust is the one gone, it is tough to build a foundation again. Probably, the issue you don't even want to encounter once being in a relationship is being cheated. Jealousy in relationships usually takes place in the scene and it could make things worse. Having no trust to your partner could mean better ending off the relationship rather than having that cycle of arguments and honeymoon all over again. Yes, it is hard, but think of what good it could do to both of you first. If nothing else does good, then let go.
Re: Will the lies get worse? 
Re: Will the lies get worse? 
