06-23-2010, 10:22 AM
Join Date: Jun 2010
| | Re: Angry, Bitter and Sad
Originally Posted by whynotme
I just posted on another thread, because the person's story spoke to me. But it brought up my own anger about what I've lost. I am newly divorced (about 2 weeks) but have been separated since early 2009. My ex was emotionally abusive, controlling and threatened me with physical abuse.
I am going through the, "How could I have been so stupid? How do I stop this from ever happening again? Why did I let this happen to me? Will I ever be okay again? Will I always punish other people for this episode in my life?"
I'm isolating on purpose, in my house...my way of coping. I'm a Christian, so I am turning to the Lord in my time of trouble, but I know He didn't want me to get closer to Him this way. Not THIS way.
Well, I have good days and bad days, and sometimes the bad days are just bad. Or the bad hours. Or the bad minutes. Or the triggers. Time to go veg out and calm down.
As far as the part I highlighted in red goes, I just want to tell you that I truly feel that this IS a way in which he does want you to get closer to him. He will get you through it - it will be tough, but He will. There is no right way or wrong way to get close to Him if you're a believer. Do whatever you can to STAY close to Him. It will help you heal, help you sustain a strong faith and maybe have a closer relationship with the Lord than you ever thought possible!
Hang in there and let yourself feel these feelings. They're natural and normal and part of the whole grieving process. Allow yourself to experience them so that you can move on to the next stages.
You'll be in my prayers.