Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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post #136 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-06-2014, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Have you spoken to posOMW?
hes not married....

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post #137 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-06-2014, 03:25 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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cant prove you wrong...100% accurate. However in this instance I am truly looking out for myself. I have already outed to her mother. I am concerned about legally ramifications however by exposing to work.
Legal ramifications? I didn't say go blow up her work with dynamite. You are just making her employment aware of the truth. Get mad....unbe. You should be.
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post #138 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-06-2014, 09:31 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

I just talked to a lawyer about alimony in my situation. We were married for 1.5 years - together for 5. My STBXH said he was entitled to alimony. I'm in California and my lawyer said because the duration of the marriage was so short (if he did go after alimony) he wouldn't get very much and not for very long. Don't worry about the alimony. If she gets fired and isn't working she won't have much money for a lawyer to go after alimony anyway. If you wanted to expose her there are ways you can do that without directly doing it.
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post #139 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 08:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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I just talked to a lawyer about alimony in my situation. We were married for 1.5 years - together for 5. My STBXH said he was entitled to alimony. I'm in California and my lawyer said because the duration of the marriage was so short (if he did go after alimony) he wouldn't get very much and not for very long. Don't worry about the alimony. If she gets fired and isn't working she won't have much money for a lawyer to go after alimony anyway. If you wanted to expose her there are ways you can do that without directly doing it.
PM me some ideas....would love to hear them
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post #140 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 08:01 AM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Alimony is set up for SAHMs with four kids

who give up their career to care for children

and where the H rakes in mega-bucks

I'm gathering you 1-do not make mega-bucks

2-have no children

3-M shorter than some of Rolling Stones parties

your stbx is chit out of luck

she would not get squat in Utah, much less your state

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #141 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 08:02 AM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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PM me some ideas....would love to hear them
Conrad is an expert......let him advise

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #142 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 05:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Update from today

The mention on her name makes me upset. I keep hearing trickle pieces of trivial information and it sets me back.

I haven't been in any sort of contact since the text on Sunday.

IC tomorrow, pick up another book. Push forward....keep pushing forward
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post #143 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 05:37 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Update from today

The mention on her name makes me upset. I keep hearing trickle pieces of trivial information and it sets me back.

I haven't been in any sort of contact since the text on Sunday.

IC tomorrow, pick up another book. Push forward....keep pushing forward
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Expose
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post #144 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-07-2014, 05:41 PM Thread Starter
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Expose
Can you pm me some ideas as discussed in the thread. Thanks
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post #145 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 10:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Update from today

Had IC, he doesn't say much. Just listens to me vent which is what I need right now.

I seem to be very angry at the stbx, angry that she cheated, angry that she didn't care enough to try and work on this, angry that she blamed it all on me.

Made an appt for Monday with the lawyer. I honestly don't think I can ever face her again.
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post #146 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 10:56 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Originally Posted by unbe View Post
Update from today

Had IC, he doesn't say much. Just listens to me vent which is what I need right now.

[I]An IC should challenge you. Sounds like you have a co-pay collector. I recommend searching for another[/I]

I seem to be very angry at the stbx, angry that she cheated, angry that she didn't care enough to try and work on this, angry that she blamed it all on me.

I thought I was reading my thread from a year ago. Never knew if my X cheated or not. Did not matter when she wanted out. Joining four dating sites had a bit to do with me not wanting anything to do with her, as well lol

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #147 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-09-2014, 12:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Help me write this letter....so far I have

All,

As you know STBXW and I's marriage is coming to an end. I have no doubt that you have heard the reason for this marriage ending is all my fault. Where I do take responsibility for my demise in the marriage (co dependecy issues, etc...) I can assure you stbxw is not without fault. Attached you will find phone records from when stbxw was in xxx on a business retreat. Within these records you a can see a total of 143 text message between herself and a number whom I have confirmed to be a co-worker POSOM. Many text messages were sent during hours where it is clear business is not a topic of discussion. I have many other phone bills with calls that went on for hours in the middle of the night along with thousands of text messages for months and months.

When I confronted stbxw about this number she told me it was XXX which was a clear lie in an attempt to cover up this 'affair'

When we first separated on that Sunday night in April. stbxw did visit POSOM at his house and stayed until 3:00am.

I realize it takes two to break up a marriage. I may have not been there for STBXW they was she needed me emotionally however that does not give her or anyone a right to go outside the marriage. I attempt therapy with STBXW where she was not an active participant what so ever.

You will take this information and do what you wish. I have been hearing rumors that I kicked STBXW out, I didnt want this to work, It is all my fault. I can assure you I changed everything and anything about me to make this work. The night of 12/12 I begged STBXW to try and separate and 'start over'. She immediately responded NO and that she wanted a divorce. That is when I asked her to leave.

This is what I have so far...comments?
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post #148 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-09-2014, 12:36 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Help me write this letter....so far I have

All,

As you know STBXW and I's marriage is coming to an end. I have no doubt that you have heard the reason for this marriage ending is all my fault. Where I do take responsibility for my demise in the marriage (co dependecy issues, etc...) I can assure you stbxw is not without fault. Attached you will find phone records from when stbxw was in xxx on a business retreat. Within these records you a can see a total of 143 text message between herself and a number whom I have confirmed to be a co-worker POSOM. Many text messages were sent during hours where it is clear business is not a topic of discussion. I have many other phone bills with calls that went on for hours in the middle of the night along with thousands of text messages for months and months.

When I confronted stbxw about this number she told me it was XXX which was a clear lie in an attempt to cover up this 'affair'

When we first separated on that Sunday night in April. stbxw did visit POSOM at his house and stayed until 3:00am.

I realize it takes two to break up a marriage. I may have not been there for STBXW they was she needed me emotionally however that does not give her or anyone a right to go outside the marriage. I attempt therapy with STBXW where she was not an active participant what so ever.

You will take this information and do what you wish. I have been hearing rumors that I kicked STBXW out, I didnt want this to work, It is all my fault. I can assure you I changed everything and anything about me to make this work. The night of 12/12 I begged STBXW to try and separate and 'start over'. She immediately responded NO and that she wanted a divorce. That is when I asked her to leave.

This is what I have so far...comments?
Talking too much.

************************

All,

As you know STBXW and I's marriage is coming to an end.

Attached you will find phone records from when stbxw was in xxx on a business retreat. These records include 143 text messages between herself and co-worker POSOM.

When I confronted stbxw about this number she told me it was someone else. Clear patterns of deception are evident in the thousands of texts, hours of late-night phone calls, and her unexplained absences.

Best regards,

Unbe
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post #149 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-09-2014, 01:40 PM
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Why are we exposing to her work? Is POSOM married or have a gf? I am not opposed to it, but people will believe what they want regardless of what you say.

Is this going to stbx whole company or just HR? I dont mean to question the wisdom of more exp people here, but I am having trouble seeing what if anything is accomplished by this.

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post #150 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-09-2014, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Why are we exposing to her work? Is POSOM married or have a gf? I am not opposed to it, but people will believe what they want regardless of what you say.

Is this going to stbx whole company or just HR? I dont mean to question the wisdom of more exp people here, but I am having trouble seeing what if anything is accomplished by this.

Posted via Topify on Android
i was planning on sending it to anyone at her work I can get a hold of. Along with friends and family. If I am going down the wrong path here please let me know.
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