I am so sorry Unbe, you have a right to be sad, afraid, and angry. You are going through a very painful period in your life. You have done the best thing to let go of the marriage. I am sure you have gotten plenty of great advice.
Conrad posted "hurt people hurt people" which is oh so true. I was a true believer that childhood traumas do not affect a marriage or relationships but I was very wrong.
I am still dealing with the aftermath of my separation, I am still dealing with the pain, hurt, longing, anger, everything.
I have look within myself to see what I did wrong in my marriage.
I am working on becoming a better person because I too made mistakes.
But you know what hurts the most?
the fact that my ex does not see his mistakes, he does not see how he hurt me, he does not believe he needs to look within to become a better person for a future relationship.
As you can probably detect, I am still very codependent on him.
I have let him go, yet I still care about his happiness.
My advice to you is to look within yourself and find out why you took everything she dished out.
good luck to you
I must go!~ Work calls