Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
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post #106 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-04-2014, 07:41 AM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Originally Posted by unbe View Post
So I heard some interesting news today. Apparently my lovely stbxw is bashing me and blaming the entire thing on me. Saying I kicked her out and claming no responsibility what so ever.

Now normally this wouldn't matter but unfortunately this may affect my job.

I need some advice her fellas. I want to nip this in the bud
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anyone can talk the talk

only the few walk the walk

listen to what she does

NOT what she says

95% what comes out her mouth is garbage

she is in the washing machine of drama

and wants you to join her

make work aware of her delusions


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #107 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-04-2014, 07:50 AM
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I would ignore the blame game she is playing. Let her say it. People will ignore her, and the ones that dont do you really care?

my stbx told everyone that I wad abusive and that I was cheating, when this what she was doing to me. You cant fight that crap so just ignore it. When you start living well people will realize she was lying. Trust me. Its already happening to me.

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post #108 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-04-2014, 08:00 AM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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I would ignore the blame game she is playing. Let her say it. People will ignore her, and the ones that dont do you really care?

my stbx told everyone that I wad abusive and that I was cheating, when this what she was doing to me. You cant fight that crap so just ignore it. When you start living well people will realize she was lying. Trust me. Its already happening to me.

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translated to..................The Victim Chair

where they spew out lies

so many times

they start believing the lies themselves

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #109 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-04-2014, 10:06 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

All valid points. Had this been restricted to just her friends and whatnot then id have no issue.

My only concern is this spreading throughout my employer and affecting that end.

Should I address it head on it or continue to go NC and sit back.
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Last edited by unbe; 01-04-2014 at 10:40 AM.
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post #110 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-04-2014, 12:00 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

say nothing

if they believe everything they hear

they are imbeciles

if they have any nads, they would ASK

you about these "allegations"

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #111 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-04-2014, 01:40 PM
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Yes do not engage. She thinks she can still push your buttons, but you have now revoked that power from her.

I had someone ask me about alleged emotional abuse and I just started laughing and asked if they really believed it. When they said no and asked why she would do that, I just said that someone having an affair with a married man will say just about anything to keep the spotlight off themselves and justify their own actions.

Dont let it bother you for even a millisecond.
You hold all the cards. Act like it.

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post #112 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 11:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Update

No word from team delusional. Making an appt to see lawyer on Thursday to get this going.

The women I have been speaking about was getting a little to clingy and I had to push her back which wasn't pretty. Unfortunately I can't worry about other people right now

Time for me to be selfish. I haven't been selfish in quite some time, feels good.

Just finished reading no more me nice guy... It did have some useful insight. I liked awareness better.

Have a few more to get into but i think I'll take a few days off before starting the next one.

Other than reading and IC I haven't really done much else for myself. Having a hard time coming up with hobbies and time/energy to do these hobbies.
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post #113 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 12:03 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

any female with integrity would allow you space

during this time and trial by fire

it's a hint.....and it will escalate with time

great call! focus on you

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #114 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 12:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

It's like clock work. Everything I saw no contact I get contact.

Just got this text message.

I will meet you to discuss whatever you want, at any time, but please leave my mom out of this. (I haven't involved her )

I haven't contacted anyone in your family and I would appreciate it if you'd do the same.

You know how your department is I'm sure anything you are hearing is a product of internal gossip. ( it's coming from here friends not my department)

I'm not saying anything about you, XXX

I wouldn't do that to your career, and believe it would be a poor reflection of character on my behalf (character? Lol).

I don't have any animosity toward you but we're very different and it just didn't work out. Those are the facts and what someone would hear if they asked me what happened (lie)

If you hear otherwise you can know it was fabricated. There are other things I need to talk to you about but you haven't been responsive so I would be more than happy to talk to you about this (and everything else) whenever you want.

This is crazy....
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post #115 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 12:23 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Watch what she does, NOT what she says


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #116 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 12:52 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Watch what she does, NOT what she says
Assuming we stay NC?
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post #117 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 01:21 PM
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Even though you 100% dont, act like you are happy and dont give a shyt. Dont ever let her see otherwise.

Confident, happy. That is all you should convey if you do habe contact. But otherwise stay NC definitely.

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post #118 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 01:23 PM
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

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Originally Posted by unbe View Post
It's like clock work. Everything I saw no contact I get contact.

Just got this text message.

I will meet you to discuss whatever you want, at any time, but please leave my mom out of this. (I haven't involved her )

I haven't contacted anyone in your family and I would appreciate it if you'd do the same.

You know how your department is I'm sure anything you are hearing is a product of internal gossip. ( it's coming from here friends not my department)

I'm not saying anything about you, XXX

I wouldn't do that to your career, and believe it would be a poor reflection of character on my behalf (character? Lol).

I don't have any animosity toward you but we're very different and it just didn't work out. Those are the facts and what someone would hear if they asked me what happened (lie)

If you hear otherwise you can know it was fabricated. There are other things I need to talk to you about but you haven't been responsive so I would be more than happy to talk to you about this (and everything else) whenever you want.

This is crazy....
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There's always the option of exposing her affair to her family and at her workplace.

That should get things moving.
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post #119 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-05-2014, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Damn it. I responded but immediately regret it

"It's not coming from my department. I'm not ok with your continued lying"
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post #120 of 1955 (permalink) Old 01-06-2014, 09:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Long sotry, prob familar. Need some support

Update:

There was no response to my text message from yesterday. Not sure I was expecting one either. I have to stop getting so emotional every time I hear/see something from team delusional.

I need to get to 50k....having a hard time getting off the ground
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