my husband doesn't love me anymore whatdo i do - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 12:22 PM Thread Starter
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my husband doesn't love me anymore whatdo i do

Hi I am sure this topic has been done hundreds of times but i need to speak to someone else who is going through or has gone through what i am going through !

Last sunday my husband told me he doesnt love me anymore and hasn't for a while quite aslap inthe face after you have been out to do the weekly shop and take the dog for a walk when he is on a rare outing to the pub with a mate suposedly discussing going back to work. To cut a long story short he became very ill back in 2007 and after a long spell in hospital has been in a wheel chair ever since and unemployed !

He says its because he thought i no longer loved him so he got his head round it and decided he didnt love me either, the truth is i have lived my life for him, worked to pay 2 mortgages and for all the household bills, I only ever think of him never myself even when i am not with him i am ringing him to see how he is doing, my life revolved around making him happy, it hasn't been easy and i am emotionally and physically drained !

Since last week i have stayed away with my parents been to the doctors and been offsick.

I can't eat and can't sleep i can't function i thought it wouldbe clearer when i came back i thought it would somehow be easier but it isn't, after 3 days of begging he has agreed to go to relate with an open mind but i can't believe that he will from the things he says and the way he acts.

I feel like an idoit for having to beg him to reconsider as his decission was based on his own thoughts and he never brought it up with me before i feel so degraded and low i just want to go away and nevercome back, but i am trapped we own 2 properties together and my job is in the city where i live , my parents live over and hour away and all of my friends are in couples and althought they have been wonderfully supportive they just don't understand and it makes me worse seeing them because there husbands are always texting and phoning them and they go off to them for a cuddle feeling sorry for me.

all i want is a cuddle and my husband won't even do that becuse it doesn't feel right, i am sat in the same room as him typing this with tears running down my face and he is completely unmoved watching tv ,

I don't know what to do, i feel so trapped and miserable how do i even start to go one with my life ???

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 12:54 PM
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Re: my husband doesn't love me anymore whatdo i do

Take a deep breath, it sounds like your husband has become detached from you.

Without trying to come up with solutions, they will come aplenty of the next few weeks, start looking after yourself.

Take time out with good friends. Allow your head to clear, it is a punch in the stomach but you will get over this. Start looking after your own self. When you have had time to recover from the pain of what he said plan what you want in the future.

Consider into your plan what will happen if you are not together and you have to resolve the financial issues. It is hard and he may have said this out of his own desperations but at this moment your emotions are all over the place. Put it at the back of your mind, go to work, keep busy get control and then move forward.

Post frequently with any questions, this site will offer lost of guidance
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-30-2010, 01:46 PM
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Re: my husband doesn't love me anymore whatdo i do

I know you must have made great sacrifices to care for your husband in his condition. The fact that you've paid the bills and cared for him is comendable. The fact that he "thought" you no longer loved him is sad. Sad that he hadn't spoken to you before it came to this...

The real fact is you have the power. You are paying the bills and and caring for him. Ask him, if you haven't already, what he's like to do? Work on the marriage, live as is, or divorce. Then YOU decide what you want....afterall, it's not all up to him.

If he doesn't want you...tell him to find somewhere else to live. Maybe that would wake him up.
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