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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-13-2010, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
notreadytoquit's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 885
The day your divorce became final

What did the day your divorce became final look like?

Sep 20 will be that day for me. I have to fly to CT from Canada to show up for that last hearing. I have no idea what to expect on emotional level. My H has/had a full blown affair, got caught, filed for divorce right after that. He seems to be doing fine. We still communicate for our son(he is 21 months now)

This is so hard. I think this will be the saddest day in my life especially because I did not think there were any obvious problems in our marriage(he won't even discuss). Never argued, liked similar things in life, planned for the future etc.

Life really sucks.

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-13-2010, 02:25 PM
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Re: The day your divorce became final

I'm on the opposite side of the coin. Spouse carried on an affair but has no interest in reconciling and will do virtually nothing to move the divorce forward. She actually approached me this past weekend, and proposed that we hold off on the divorce until one of us is ready to remarry. She thought that this was a "good thing" to save me tax money.

Our separation and divorce has been the equivalent of financial suicide.

So, now with my jugular having been ripped open and bled out, she thinks it's 'nice' to offer me a band-aid.

Try to be strong for that day. For yourself. This is a tragic event in anyone's life - but you will survive. You will become stronger. Because that is what has to be done - and by default some satisfaction and happiness is going to creep in.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-13-2010, 02:34 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Re: The day your divorce became final


Well today is my day. I was divorced this morning. No one was at the hearing. Now we still have other issues to finalize, ED, SS and custody, although most have been worked out already -- except dear ex wifey will be getting substantially less than she thinks.

I myself have treated today for what it is -- the end. I've grieved, I've been sad, and I've had a burden lifted. The burden of having hope is gone since I have no more hope.

Best of luck. Peace.

"Don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less" ....C.S. Lewis
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-14-2010, 09:48 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 88
Re: The day your divorce became final

August 16th was the day my divorce was final...and I was surprisingly ok. It hurt, I was sad...but I didn't cry. To me, it was the end, but it was also the beginning. The last year of my life had been hell, and I'm still feeling the burn from that journey, but for the first time I could actually see the dark clouds starting to disperse.

In I way I was fortunate, we opted for a quick, non contested divorce...and on the advice of my lawyer I defaulted on the paper work. Since we weren't fighting over anything, it was easiest for me to not have to see her, and just wait for the judgment to get sent to me.

I agree with Deejo. Just be strong, and face the day as you have all the ones before.
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