Hopeful38

Last night I moved back to my house after after the divorce 4 months ago. We had agreed that I was going to buy her an apartment and I would keep the house, so in those 4 months I lived with my parents while the apartment deal was done and she got it set up for her and our kid. Because of our kid I see my exwife almost everyday, so yesterday when she came to my parent's house to pick the kid, she told there were still some things of her left in the house but that I could go back to the house. I was planning going maybe a couple of nights later but had the urge to go right away. As we had talked, she took most her personal stuff, clothes, etc. but the house is pretty much the same as if she and the kid were there. (its not an "empty house' situation, pretty much everything except her stuff is there). I has a great feeling of Loss and sadness, but also acceptance in some way. ANYWAYS, after 2 and a half months of not talking about "US" and knowing my psychologist and friends would say I shouldn't have done it, I texted my EX just saying I missed her and our daughter. She texted back saying she knew how difficult all this was for both, that hopefully the pain will go away soon and that we can find happiness, that I deserved it. So I texted back saying I knew that happiness will come someday but that I prefered to reach that happines toghether. I also said in that same message to not say anything more right now and wished her a good night. As we do everyday, this morning she drove our daughter to school where I usually await her in the parking lot and so I can go in the school and have breakfast with daughter. As I expected, in the couple of minutes while I get the bags and daughter out of the ex's car nothing was said about last night or us, but still I know there is pain on both sides. Needless to say, I still love her very much and as my nick goes, I'm hopeful we'll be together, maybe not soon, but when we're ready. But I also know I cannot expect my happiness to come depending on what she feel for me.
I don't know what to ask of you guys in the forum, but your comments and words will be very appreciated

greenpearl

I am here listening. I can't hug you because you are a man. I can lend you my ear. (actually I am lending you my eyes and fingers)
Loneliness is not a good feeling. I hate being alone. I had been alone for some time. I hate that feeling.
Do you mind if I make you laugh?

greenpearl

I feel lonely a lot too.

Hopeful38

Thanks greenpearl!! you did make me laugh a bit! Again, thanks just for listening and empathyzing!!

greenpearl

I am very sorry. I wanted to make you happy. I should just have told you that I wanted to chat. I want you to be happy!!!