circasurvive

long story gunna try to make this short.

okay back in july my wife had like to me about one of her male friend being in the car with her she claimed it was the real estate agent and she brought him lunch. i knew she was going to see him cause he had a hookup with a painter. cause her car got keyed. so she lied about it to me and told me she was going to stop talking to him. and she did. i noticed after that she became very distant and was treating me like crap it was like an emotional switch just shut off its been that way ever sense. firefox saves passwords for any website you goto so i used this to check her cell phone account. anyways she has been texting one of her "friends" for months i mean like 3000 texts in a few weeks time. i asked her about it and shes flat out lied to me about it. not knowing i have been keeping an eye out on it. so she woke up one morning to meet contacters to look out our new house and she got a dressed up and the first thing she did was text him i dropped by the house and she was in fact meeting with the contactors and she had a funny look on her face. so i dropped off my things and left on the way out her car was open, and i looked at her phone. there was a partical thred of text messages from her and him witch she had deleted most of and what was there was HIM: "ive got a silly grin on my face now" her: "oh yeah?" him "im kinda flattered" her: "lol ok". so im like wtf? so i called the guy on my phone and told him who i was he had no clue... i asked him what my wife was saying to him to put a silly grin on his face and why hes so flattered? he said i dont want to be in the middle of this, your going to have to ask her about it. and i asked him if he knew me and her were married and he said "i cant say that i did". so i hang out with him and she calls me back 20 mins later saying "im packing your things, i want you out." so i packed up my things and moved back to cali where i am now and she wants a divorce. she said nothing was going on... she said he sent her a picture of him wakeboarding and she said he looks badass. i checked the phone records and there was never a picture sent from him. she lied AGAIN! i just dont understand what the deal is can anyone make heads or tails of this? the facts are shes been lying to me for months about him she said they are just friends and shes been deleting texts from her phone. so i dont know what to belive.

circasurvive

anyone know what happend here???? i would like to get some insight on the matter.

Skuba

I dont know what to believe either. I am having a hard time believing that there isnt someone else that my wife is leaving me for, but its so hard and confusing not knowing. When you love someone so much, you want to believe them, but you cant help but wonder what the hells going on. I havent been helping her in any way as far as the divorse papers are conserned and I am purposely making it hard for her which I know isnt right, but I cant seem to let go yet. On top of that, I even told her that if there is someone else involved, this would be the time to tell me, because there isnt anything else to lose. And that I would not hesitate, not for a second, to get this done with, but she still claimes that there isnt anyone. I keep telling myself I believe her, but what reason besides that would someone who loved you so much for so long, and never even had a fight our entire mariage, would not even consider working on things. Just, a short conversation where she said she wasnt happy anymore, didnt love me anymore and that she was leaving and wanted a divorse. Nothing else, I tried to offer any kind of counsiling, any kind of options where we could work on things so I at least know we tried, but no. Just, its over, see you when I come pick up my things. So, like you, I dont know what to do and I dont know what went so wrong that someone would just throw away everything without a second thought. Sorry I cant help, but youre not alone

circasurvive

this is hitting me so hard right now. i cant help but to break down in tears... to think i loved someone so much to give up my life my home my job friends and family mt world to make sure me and her had the best life, all these visions of what could have been are lost i feel empty and to think of what a gave up for her and she couldnt even give out relationship a chance to emotionally detach from me and give it to someone else while we were supposed to be working on our relationship. i feel like i got hit by a bus! and to think i would have been there for her no matter what! its just a big slap in the face!

lovelieswithin

Im sorry to hear your situation - but honestly there could be a million reasons "why" this happened. She could be addicted to the thrill of it... she could simply be selfish & cold hearted... she could be insane... your lack of interest could have triggered her to look over the fence... who knows. If you want closure then perhaps ask her why this happened so that you can have some heart closure? if she refuses then take the good from the time spent with her and learn from the bad thats worth taking lesson from.
Not all women are like this and it sounds like youre a very devoted man. If you let this woman trainwreck your heart forever then ultimately she will have "won".
You got burned... ok.. so time to pick up the pieces of wreckage and move on. Dissecting it or second guessing yourself will only cause insecurity & sadness. This doesnt mean you dont have a lot to offer a woman ... it just means that the traits your ex are looking for are different.(sounds like she needs a selfish lying azz like herself) It was a mistake & she proved to you by her actions that YOU are better than she will ever be. most people dont get second chances at honesty in a relationship- u were more than generous. sorry for your pain doll- again there are women like myself that would never be dishonest like that to you. hope your heart heals fast!!!!
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