My journal-Making it about me now
Brief recap... Some of you have read my other posts, but I like how some other people here have journal threads to update or vent or just be sad or happy.
My husband of almost 20 years and I have had many challenges to overcome, and victories to celebrate. Unfortunately, we didn't always approach things the best way and have drifted apart in ways that he thinks we cannot fix. I would be willing to work-I still love him with all my heart, but I am starting to wrap my brain around the thought that he passed the willing to work stage years ago.
As of now, we are not planning to file paperwork or live separately anytime soon. That may change, we just don't know right now. He has been in IC for the first time in his life, and I think he needs to continue that before we do anything else. I started IC myself this past week. I've been in IC before, but this time, it's just to help me focus on being strong and navigating through this process.
I have been making exercise a top priority and took my first yoga class tonight. It was oddly emotional and powerful for me. It seems fitting that my request for a name change came through today. When I signed up, I registered as Bothtoonice, because my H and I are where we are because we were both too "nice" to make it hard for each other and do what needed to be done. But now, it's about me. So I asked for a change. I dropped the "both".
So, I don't know what happens next. And as of this moment (after sweating my brains out for an hour of zen), I feel sort of ok with that. Things are going to progress how they will progress, and I will control what I can, and ride out what I can't. And I'll probably come here to talk about it when I need to.
I am inspired by the number of people here going through the same stages and thank each of you for sharing your stories, too. We aren't alone. And we will be just fine.
So yeah...welcome to my thread.