10-28-2010, 09:59 AM
Join Date: May 2009
| | Advice on dating during separation
I have been separated since May.. I live in NC and according to my attorney's so long as we are living under separate roofs we can date whomever we please as this is a no fault state.
We also have a clause in our separation agreement that states.. "both parties agree to live separate and apart as if single and unmarried" .. So basically my attorney said I could sleep with the football team and it not matter.. however that is NOT what I am doing nor do I intend to. lol..
I have three children and really the only communication my STBX and I have had about anything for about 2.5 mos now only pertains to their schedules.
I have dated a couple of random people, and he admitted to me a couple of months ago that he had indeed dated a few and slept with them.. he has encouraged me to do the same .. sounds ok right? .. well, no, he seems to be coming from the perspective that I have an illusion the grass is greener and once I go out and enter the dating world I will realize what I had and come back, but that until I am able to discover that on my own it wouldn't work b/c that allure of green grass would always be in my mind.
Well, a couple of months ago.. I met someone, and we are seemingly a perfect match in every way possible.. beyond my expectations really and it has brought real clarity to me that the type of relationship I have with this new person is full of all the things I lacked on an intellectual, spiritual and intimate level in my marriage and even if this relationship doesn't move forward, just knowing now that this type of relationship can exist really lets me know that I will never go back to my STBX. ... SO>>>> I have every reason to believe, at this point that this new relationship I am in is heading toward something long term. I am wondering at what point I let my stbx in on the fact that I AM indeed doing as he suggested and not only that but after dating a few people have actually gotten in a relationship that I am very happy in?
I am unable to file for divorce until May..I have pretty much decided that I am not offering any information on my own, but if/when he asks.. not sure how to respond and wondering if anyone has any thoughts on that?.. according to a few people, they seem to think he is holding out hope that after he has given me a little space I will see the light and come back.