It's hurting me now

trexy66 · 07-25-2008, 01:35 PM

My husband and I separated last month but we are still living together until we can sell our home,we have been civil to each other.I have been out a few times just to visit a girlfriend I have no interests in dating at the moment and I believe it is not appropriate while I am still living under the same roof as my husband(ex).I have been noticing lately that he is on the computer alot,working out the other day he went and bought hair dye.Last night I went to visit my friend I came home shortly after 10 and he was not home he left a note to say lock up I will be home late well this bothered me a great deal I was a basket case.He came home at 11:30pm,you have to keep in mind he has no friends.I have talked to different people about this some say he has a girlfriend and other's say he is doing it to piss me off.I really thought I was over him because I was so happy with agreeing to separate.I want to move forward but it is not possible right now until our home sell's or we are able to rent it out.It is getting very tough.What do you guy's think he is up to?and what can I do about it?

Amplexor · 07-25-2008, 02:25 PM

Both explanations are plausible. He may be seeing someone or is trying to make you jealous or hurt you. Although you have agreed to the separation don’t expect there to not be pain for either of you as the other begins to separate and look for someone new in their life. It is normal to feel this way. That doesn’t make it any easier however. Letting go is hard and anytime a marriage fails there will be pain. All I can say is keep your sprits up as best you can while you fully realize it is over. Hard to do I know. Concentrate on your self and your needs. Keep busy with hobbies or work. Go out with friends and spend as little time around him as you can. If he is just trying to hurt you shoe him you are just fine and don’t need him. Don’t jump into other relationships until you are sure you are ready. Take care.

justean · 07-25-2008, 04:13 PM

you sound very confused. but like amplexor said , both explanations are plausible. again your feelings are normal. the thought of moving on from eachother might not be daunting, until you are faced with the fact he is getin on his life. after all you are both split up.
the thought of him meeting some new is an even worse prospect.
i agree alot with amplexor.
but also do you want him back?

draconis · 07-26-2008, 12:37 AM

Since you both know that it is ending then you need to understand that both of you will recover in different ways. Even though you are not ready to move on (smart choice in avoiding a rebound situation) he has.

draconis

hitrockbottom · 07-26-2008, 07:55 PM

Maybe he is trying to adapt.. Maybe this is the person that he wants to be.
Hes working out....don't see anything wrong with that.
When he went out at least he wrote you a note.
Bought hair dye...don't see a prob with that.

There is another posssibility. Maybe, he is still in love with you and is trying to show you that he is able to take care of himself. Maybe he is saying that although he would like you to be in his life he doesn't NEED you there per say.

Maybe he is showing you that he wants things to work with you two.
But I don't know.

I know I have worked out alot since my wife has been ignoring me. Lost weight and flattened out my stomach...

When I go out I let my wife know whats up. out of respect. Showing her that she can trust me...but this is just a guess on my end.