I'm thrilled to hear things are going well, keep us updated. My thoughts are w/you, Beth, and your family during this time.
why on earth do i pick little tiny things out of our interactions and feel so crappy about them then? she's going back to school. good for her. she will get financial aid based upon our situation. we've never taken a freebie in our lives! why does that bother me so bad!?!?
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Her brother just passed, which is something she didnt expect. She wants to make sure there will be no surprises or fights if something should happen to you Maybe she wants to know what her "job" would be if something were to happen to you.....meaning...is she going to be the one handleing your assets/debts/whatever else, or is someone else? It is your will, it is up to only you who you include or don't include. If you feel in your heart it is best to let Beth handle everything, then make it so!
Her brother just passed, which is something she didnt expect. She wants to make sure there will be no surprises or fights if something should happen to you Maybe she wants to know what her "job" would be if something were to happen to you.....meaning...is she going to be the one handleing your assets/debts/whatever else, or is someone else? It is your will, it is up to only you who you include or don't include. If you feel in your heart it is best to let Beth handle everything, then make it so!
kinda what i was thinking. question: haven't i been enough of a burden on her? how fair would it be to put her "in charge" of my situation after i die?
it seems to me she is asking me to put her in charge. i swear that's her. will she never let go of these "co-dependent" (hate that word) traits???
i will tell you this though: i would be very comfortable with her in charge of my affairs.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
You need to be strong. Focus on yourself.
By continuing to vasilate back and forth, you are screwing up your own self-worth.
If its over, then its over. If there is something to WORK on, then both parties need to work on it openly, honestly, and consistently.
using the evidence, as my counselor says, i'd say it's not over. fortunately for me, the industry that i work in demands a high self-worth. i'm very successful in it, so i'm guessing that my self-worth is ok.
we're working on it, every freaking day. i left a big ol' mess in my wake. we got a lot to work on. but we'll get there.
ps-who's the chick on your website? she looks pretty hot.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
hey, i posted some stuff on another thread, but in fairness to everyone who has helped me thusfar, i want to bring it back here.
check the thread "breaking down the walls" in the members pnly forum.
i've mentioned beths bro-in-law died in a skydiving accident. anyway, the funeral is going to be in california early next week. beth had planned a oregon coast trip with the kids for later that week. so beth texts me asking in i wanted to go to kenny's funeral. i had told her before i thought that, out of respect for the family, i should go. but work was gonna get in the way. so she texts me and asks. the next step is gonna be her asking if i wanna go to the coast.
i wonder if i should accept her invitation. i don't wanna look like a pushover.
thoughts?
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
Go....go...go ....go. You love her ...right? What are you worried about? As far as the "will" thing goes, did she do this after her brother in law died? If so...maybe she is just thinking like women do....we always think. You have said that you love her and want this to work.....but are you holding back a little....scared of her rejection? If she asks....and you love her....you should go. This might be that moment....the one it seems you are looking for.
Just my opinion...if it was me....I would drop everything and go.
Are you afraid that YOU are going to fail? You seem strong....like you love your wife and kids. You made mistakes.....now try to start forgiving yourself and let yourself GO with her.
I hope you weren't offended.....just my opinion like I said. Good luck.
sure....but aren't you? Eager, I mean. You love this woman so much...it is apparent in your posts....weren't you 'eager' when you first met her? Maybe that is what she needs from you....to know how 'eager you are'. I don' t know....I'm not in her head right now.
sure....but aren't you? Eager, I mean. You love this woman so much...it is apparent in your posts....weren't you 'eager' when you first met her? Maybe that is what she needs from you....to know how 'eager you are'. I don' t know....I'm not in her head right now.
Just stop over thinking things. Good luck.
eager, sure...and yes, i was eager when we met...you say "what she needs from me now..." i think maybe that is independence...denise, i'm not really sure...i wish i was...
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
most amazing night tonight...beth had my 10 year old baby call me. wanted me to bring bbq stuff to do an old family tradition...blow off the left-over fireworks, cook out and watch the neighbors' fireworks leftovers...
did all that...the we watched a movie...rather insignificant except at the last scene, she made a point to point out the song they played at the end...something about "ready to take a chance again..." by (i think) barry manilow...wtf????
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
yes repeated baby steps that's what I like to hear....so excited for you V!
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
yes repeated baby steps that's what I like to hear....so excited for you V!
this morning she called to inform me that she has to take some entrance exam for college...it felt like she was looking for some support and comfort, so i tried to give it to her. i said "go rambo on the test, you're smart, you'll be fine." and stuff like that.
god i miss being her support group! i could tutor her for the test. she'd pass flying colors.
she is not making a mistake falling back this direction. i will never hurt her again. i just wish she'd realize that today.
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separated, honoring wife and family daily, she deserves the best me i can give her.
she is not making a mistake falling back this direction. i will never hurt her again. i just wish she'd realize that today.
I think she is and has been realizing that, but like it's been said so many other times in this thread... she's just wanting to be absolutely sure! You know you can't blame her for wanting to know 10000% before she gets neck deep again. I, for one, am very proud of you for being so committed and working so hard! If only my DH had an ounce of your fight *sigh*
Re: separation is killing me, help!
Maybe she wants to know what her "job" would be if something were to happen to you.....meaning...is she going to be the one handleing your assets/debts/whatever else, or is someone else? It is your will, it is up to only you who you include or don't include. If you feel in your heart it is best to let Beth handle everything, then make it so!
