Living together while separated
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Living together while separated

Has anyone out there done this? We have decided it is the best thing now for us to do because we have 3 small children. A 1, 2 and 5 yr. old. He will sleep in the basement and I will sleep upstairs. He wants to file for a legal separation while we do this. I'm thinking that really doesn't need to be done??? I'm not sure how long we'll be able to do this. He's already told me he won't agree with me on things when its time for the divorce. I'm just having such a hard time because I'm a stay at home mom...we have a nice house. I have no clue what will happen or where I'll end up. I don't want to move the kids out of this house... lost...
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Living together while separated

waterfall: I do not have an advice but feel your heartache and actually feel if from the opposite perspective. Meaning...I am the one who wants to get out of the marriage and I know my husband is/will feel exactly like you. I too wish we can stay in home until things are to a final close, yet, I know that is honestly unrealstic. Especially when one is still so much into wanting and trying to make it work. I do not come from a family of any divorcee's so for me to take the first step is so devasting to me but I need to be happy and I cannot let materialistic items be the replacement. It will only resurface again in time.

Not sure what I expected to give you by this post other than even though I maybe on your spouses 'side' of things, I completely feel for your worries. That's definately something I am not looking forward to having to cope with.
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Living together while separated

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Originally Posted by emotionalwreck View Post
waterfall: I do not have an advice but feel your heartache and actually feel if from the opposite perspective. Meaning...I am the one who wants to get out of the marriage and I know my husband is/will feel exactly like you. I too wish we can stay in home until things are to a final close, yet, I know that is honestly unrealstic. Especially when one is still so much into wanting and trying to make it work. I do not come from a family of any divorcee's so for me to take the first step is so devasting to me but I need to be happy and I cannot let materialistic items be the replacement. It will only resurface again in time.

Not sure what I expected to give you by this post other than even though I maybe on your spouses 'side' of things, I completely feel for your worries. That's definately something I am not looking forward to having to cope with.
Thanks for the response...actually I am the one who wants out and initiated everything. The husband wants things to work out. I've tried for a year with counseling and trying to see if I could get over what he did. But, I cannot. It's just the splitting and the splitting of the kids that kills me. I know I don't want to be with him but my priority is the kids. So...to keep the kids under one roof is to separate while living together for some time. Just scares me what will happen and what will be next.
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Old 01-04-2011, 01:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Living together while separated

I don't know how it all works in your state, but I do think if you're going to try to live in the same home while separated, then filing for a legal separation would probably be a good idea, so that it is clear to EVERYONE that you are truly separated. Otherwise, he might fool himself into thinking you're not, and other friends and family who don't live with you will just figure that since you're still living together, you must be working things out, and they'll keep treating you as if you're still happily married instead of as a separated couple.
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