Hi everybody, i am just new here. Never thought will ever come to forum like this one but, as we say Never Say Never. Now I am going through a very hard time, and not because i am getting through divorce, but because the man I love is going through it and I came here to look for help for him and myself as it's hard for me as well.
Anyway, my point here is: I already read few posts here, how hard it is for people to accept the fact that the man or woman they love does not want to be with them any more. I know how hard it is, really, i was touched so deepely by post from TheLostGoodGuy and emotionalwreck....The only thing i want to tell to everyone who loves and suffers now...please,
If the other person doesn't love you and want you anymore please let them go! Doesn;t matter how hard it is for you...for the seik of someone you love and care so much, let them be free and start a new life they want! Don't taucher yourself and them as well as there is no point. If love dies that is it!
And you just start a new life, and look for a person who will love, want and need YOU! Please people be more wise and less selfish. This world is beautiful and large, there is enaugh love for everyone!
nika, please let go people's husband instead... I trust you're young & single, so you can still find your own husband. If you let go, he can go back to his wife, no matter he loves or not loves her at this moment, they could work together to repair their marriage.
The wife doesn't want to let go simply because she still loves her husband. She's willing to make the marriage work no matter what it takes. So there's still chance for her husband to fall back in love with her. Don't say it is impossible. There are many professional marriage consultants who are able to help them get back together, if you were that problem in their marriage - you should let go.
I know you love this man but no matter what, it's a mistake. He's married. He's got a family, probably also kids. You're just a mistress.
Men who enjoy fooling around behind their wives are not good husbands.
You're single. You don't need to get involved in this crap.
Hi niki thanks for visiting. Let me guess you are the other woman and your divorcing friend is the love of your life and his wife is the bain of your existance because she has the nerve not to jump out of the way to make room for you. And your point of this post is to express your hostility to wives trying to hold on to thier husbands and father of their children. I can certainly understand you anger but you are directed it in a very cruel way to the wrong people. You see the woman who post here are heart broken at losing the love of their husband and the life that they built together. Sounds like you brought the line about the horrible clinging wife who will not let him go so easily because she is hoping that he still loves her. When you come out of the stary eyed phase of you adoration of your cheating bf you may find that she is not nearly as bad as he made her out to be and that he is not as blameless as he made himself out to be .
So since you chose to visit to make a snarky coment to people who are suffering and looking for support i am going to give you some predictions based on tge type of person you and your bf and some cold hard stats. First the good news - he may actually be divorcing his wife and may even marry you before the ink is dry on the final decree. Now the bad news - he may actually be divorcing his wife and may even marry you. So either way you lose, he is either stringing you along about how difficult it is to get his horrible wife to divorce sign the papers or he is telling the truth and you get to marry a cheater and a man who blames his marital problems on his partner. Nothing predicts the future like the pass so when you are the wife and he cheats on you and blames on you you will at lest recognize the pattern. And listen niki, when he is ready to ditch you for the next adoring female don't give him a hard time. And don't come to this forum looking for support in the 3 it will take for your perfect union to crash and burn.
Well you said your piece but it is unwise to crow so loudly over your spoils, the gods may hear. ...... "fool to gibe at him! Lo! 'lithe flat and loveth Setebos" Calaban upon Setebos, R Browning
Thanks Catherine for the post but you are mistaken, i am not agnry at all. And I wrote this line ( If no love left let them go) not because of myself but because read few posts from people who suffer and are in pan that their partners are leaving them. Or emothionalwreck wrote that she doesn't love her husband the way he deserve to be loved...so I wrote it to people like those.
I am not trying to destriy anyone's relations or marriage, I am not pushing anyone for anything, but if the other person doesn't love you anymore why to hold him. If he or she wants to be free, if they don't feel love anymore, why to taucher yourself and them byt keeping them?
Mistake here is in forcing those people to stay when they don't want to. Better let them be free, get the experience they need and look for, and the big chance is they come back to you. That's what I mean.
Yes I am young, but Iv been married for 14 years from very early, have kids, and I did let my husband go....and believe me i felt much happier when he left me. I am happy now, as the life we had wasn't a life actually. I thought I was happy but I wasn't. He wants to come back to me now but sorry, i dont want it anymore, I am much happier without him.
I am just trying to help those who are in pain because they were left and not loved anymore. Is it so hard to understand? I am not selfish person, I don't hold anyone, i believe good things come only on the good will, they can't be forced. There are many ways to make your partner stay when he or she wants to leave, but what's the point? You will just make the person you love suffer and will suffer yourself as you cant force anyone to love.
nika, please let go people's husband instead... I trust you're young & single, so you can still find your own husband. If you let go, he can go back to his wife, no matter he loves or not loves her at this moment, they could work together to repair their marriage.
The wife doesn't want to let go simply because she still loves her husband. She's willing to make the marriage work no matter what it takes. So there's still chance for her husband to fall back in love with her. Don't say it is impossible. There are many professional marriage consultants who are able to help them get back together, if you were that problem in their marriage - you should let go.
I know you love this man but no matter what, it's a mistake. He's married. He's got a family, probably also kids. You're just a mistress.
Men who enjoy fooling around behind their wives are not good husbands.
You're single. You don't need to get involved in this crap.
Thanks MsLonely but problem here is different. I don't hold him, I love him but I want him to be happy, with me or without. And he loves his wife and wants to be with her but she can't forgive him this mistake and tauchers him, gives him pain with all possible ways. I dont know how to help him to go through this, doctor prescribed very strong medicines but they just make him numb, just supress the pain. I thought I would find here professional help, a concealer who would tell him how can I help him to go through this, how do I need to behaive as I am caugh in a middle of it for none mistake of mine. And wife insists on divorce and gives him pain every time they meet or talk.
Really? Seriously? Honestly? Unless you are his sister.
Yes really and yes seriously :-) You all here seem to be very angry with me, but anger is a very bad adviser. Open your eyes, ears and heart and try to understand...is it really so hard????
Open up your brain, rather. Just because you let your husband go, doesn't mean other people would follow in your footsteps.
Not asking anyone to follow me here. Please keep your husbands and wives by force or by manipulating the curcumstances. Doesn't matter if they love you want you or respect you anylonger. Doesn't matter if they are happy or suffer and every night fall asleep dreaming and fantasising about someone they met in the shop or saw on TV.
Just do what YOU want, whatever make YOU happy and enjoy life!
I think Nika has a point. Catherine mentions how Nika loses either way. Either she is being strung along or she gets a cheater. But it is the same with the wife. The husband either leaves her or the wife is stuck with a cheater.
The problem is the cheating. I have never cheated and have never been cheated on (as far as I know). People really need to try everything possible in their marriage and should leave the marriage if it isn't working. Cheating causes all this pain.
I really don't know how I would handle it if I was cheated on. I read about Plan A, where you get rid of the OM or OW and work on yourself, and make your spouse fall in love with you again. I guess when there are kids and you have invested years in a marriage, this might be the best to do. Not sure if the marriage could ever be the same though. I am sure there are some that are recovered and become great marriages. I am sure there are others where the marriage survives but is filled with resentment and isn't great.
I guess it depends on the marriage. A common scenario is ..... the spouse is absent, not working on the marriage, not showing love ... the other spouse tries to get the absent spouse to be there. They eventually give up and find love with someone else.
So who is wrong? Maybe it isn't the cheater! Maybe the cheater is justified in cheating and the absent spouse should let them go. Rather than work on Plan A.
I think the point is that the answer isn't always the same. Sometimes a marriage should be fought for when a spouse cheats and sometimes not.
I've also never cheated and have never been cheated on.
However I find it insulting for people out there who have to read that they should be allowing their cheating spouses go "with love", words written by a person "who's been caught in a middle of it for no mistake of hers".
If no love left let them be free! 
Re: If no love left let them be free! 
