denise1218

Not sure what it is...I have been doing good for the most part. Right now I just can't stop crying. Today is exactly one month from when he moved out. I am just incredibly sad and lonely and overwhelmed at the moment. I can't stand not being a part of his life....not knowing how or what he is doing. But at the same time I get so pissed off because he left me...he left our marriage...our kids...our life.....just like that. From what he tells me....he still has very difficult moments as well....but I just still can't understand all of this. Why won't he come back to me?? That is what I want. I want to put this all behind us....fix what is broken....and begin again. I love him with all of my heart....I am sure if I didn't truly love him....I wouldn't be feeling this way. I just want him back. So bad.

Crankshaw

I feel your pain & sorrow, he needs to sort himself out, and you need to speak to a councilor to manage your stress, I know I do ! (I am sure the anti depressants I am on, plus the support of my daughter, her partner, my eldest son & his partner and even my 1st wife all help!)

blownaway

It's going to be like this for a while. You will go through these ups and downs. A friend who went through this a couple years ago told me that this is like building muscle. At first, if we're completely out of shape, this type of thing will debilitate us. Then, as time goes on, the muscles get stronger and more in shape. The hurt doesn't put us in pain for as long and it's not s intense. Then, the hurt sort of goes away. This is very fresh for you so you're just building your muscles right now and the extreme sadness/mood swings are normal.

As far as wanting him back, I completely get that. Part of me wants mine back too - the old H, not this guy that he turned into - but if the old one came waltzing back, it would be hard to reject him. The thing is though that no matter why he left or how much he knows you're hurting, you can't ever control another person. No matter how much we try to get them to see, if they don't want to, they won't. It's a very hard pill to swallow and it's going to get stuck on the way down. At this point, try to focus on you and the kids. If today is a really bad day, just try to recognize that tomorrow may not be as bad. Just take care of you. If he comes back, it will have to be all his choice. If not, you will get through, but unfortunately time will have to pass.