vivea

2 days ago i told him i do not want to talk to him in the best possible friendly way.i told him it's very painful to me to talk to him when i do not hear my loving husband.He agreed and said OK if you want that !
What does he do ?! He still calls and wants to talk to me.
Yesterday he did talk to me and today he sends me this Email after i send him an Email to bring tomorrow a few checks so i can pay for stuff(school,rent..etc.) ...

Really excited about seeing me...huh?!
Not getting my hopes up though..you know the story
Actually I'm not sure if i care about any hope anymore....he's so immature.

LonelyNLost

Don't get your hopes up. You need to act disinterested. If he's rethinking his decision, you need to stand firm and not let your guard down. He is the one acting like the loose cannon, and that isn't fair to you or the kids at all.

__________________
~ You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough. ~

Or, you could be a big sap and trust your husband, and he could end up being a lying, spineless, cheater.

Crankshaw

i am really excited about seeing my kids on Sunday, not too sure about the ex though, mind you, given the chance i would give her a hug, but that wont happen !

__________________
Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.

vivea

He called
Asked about what we have been doing and how was my day...i told him the truth ,i have been out and about all day ...almost every day.Shopping and spending money ...i also want to have fun now that I'm back to civilization.
I signed up in one of the best gyms that i have seen,i have been working out every day,taking wall climbing classes...you name it.I am really having a blast,excluding the moments when I remember that I'm a single parent at the moment and my anxiety levels get high to the point that I need a medication.

So anyway i told him all this in a very excited way and he of course noticed because he also commented that it seems like I'm having a lot of fun...."sorry buddy i actually do ".

During the conversation he said at least 3 times" I am really excited to see you guys"cant wait to see you" "it's been a while"...to which i didn't respond except "good" .

LonelyNLost...i do plan to be businessy nice tomorrow,not going to show affection anymore just nice polite smiles ,not going to ask anymore about us,if he wants to say something i'm open to talk but that's about it.Done with tears and trying to convince him to be with me.

I surprised myself today though ,my SIL (his brother's wife) wrote to me today to tell me how truly sorry she is about our situation and offered help.As i was writing back to her i started crying,i guess when i really get to that place of remembering the hurt appears and i get very emotional...so i stopped ,erased everything and just wrote a few nice sentences back to her...decided not go go full force at the moment.

crank...I'm excited about you and the kids on Sunday,hope she won't spoil the moment for you.

Crankshaw

good for you girl.

Well, my daughter (28) will be with me, so my (ex) wife will be as nice as pie if she shows her face

__________________
Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.

MsLonely

Let him be excited or do you prefer he's annoyed to see you guys?

Babyheart

Hope it goes well - I agree with lostnlonely.

Good luck!

vivea

So he came....i was all dressed up and busy when he came.I saw him and my heart went in my throat but managed to keep it cool.
So weird,he hugged the kids and after that he came to hug me,i though it'll be just a hug but he held me for like 30 seconds and told me he missed me.
The cool moment was when he came in and saw me all dressed up with new clothes that he hasn't seen...i mean i was looking good...i really tried. I could see that "OMG she's hot" face,he really kept staring at me the whole 3 hrs he was here,he even told me that he really likes my clothes and how good i look and he made a comment that obviously I'm eating now because i look healthy.I told him that i do eat and i eat good and work out a lot...
All true!
So before the guests came he chased me around the house to hug me 2 more times all long hugs.He held me and talked to me how much he missed me ,i was not saying much but hugged him back.It was hard because I'm also so confused.
He made a comment twice of how long of a drive it is to come see us,10 hrs in one day blah blah blah.The first time i didn't say anything but the second time he said that he was holding me and i just told him"well fix this,it's that simple ,just fix it" he just said "i know".

So we celebrated my little daughter's 1st Bday,he complimented me at least 6 times how great I did with organizing the BDay ,the guests and everything.

So all in all it was good,he was really nice to me and not cold at all ,i even told him that i see a little bit of my husband and i haven't seen him since Christmas.

At one point he again asked how soon we have to tell the apartment complex here that we will be braking the contract,i just answered that we need to go and ask and i have no idea.

On the way back he asked me to go with him to the car ,he held me again and told me he is excited about his second therapy session and that he wants to become a better person
I didn't cry or talked about us at all. Just told him to drive safely ,turned my back and headed back to the apartment.

Since than he has been calling me 1 or 2 times a day,i can see that he is trying ,i don't feel that coldness over the phone so that is why i do not mind talking to him.
I was out last night and had a great time with friends,forgot to charge my phone and this morning he tried calling ...he told me later.
He again told me tonight that he is excited about his therapy visit and can't wait.
It's still hard to tell what he is thinking though,there are moments in which i think that he will want me back but at others I'm not so sure....so still hoping i guess that he will realize what he is doing.
Because i didn't say much when he was here, tonight i decided to tell him that i miss him ,i wasn't sure if he felt that i was too cold when he was here so that is why I've said it.I have not been feeling OK today,i think i'm getting sick so i really have been missing him today so i told him that,he just said"i miss you too guys" still not just ME....ohhh welll.

Crankshaw

I hope things work out for you, I really really do.
take it slow, and see how things go.

__________________
Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.

vivea

I have no choice crank ,i will have to wait and see what he wants to do.... I still can't believe he pulled this on me...i'm sure most of you can't but really i though i know this person so well and i always have thought of him as an exception ,he was such a nice and caring husband in any way.

Crankshaw

well, sort of, you need to get your bum into gear and move forward, just like me, easier said than done though

Hey, after 20 years I thought I knew my wife, yet here I am.
Could have almost knocked me over with a feather last night when there were 3 emails from her in my inbox!

p.s jsyk, it is 7:30am here

__________________
Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.