So he came....i was all dressed up and busy when he came.I saw him and my heart went in my throat but managed to keep it cool.
So weird,he hugged the kids and after that he came to hug me,i though it'll be just a hug but he held me for like 30 seconds and told me he missed me.
The cool moment was when he came in and saw me all dressed up with new clothes that he hasn't seen...i mean i was looking good...i really tried. I could see that "OMG she's hot" face,he really kept staring at me the whole 3 hrs he was here,he even told me that he really likes my clothes and how good i look and he made a comment that obviously I'm eating now because i look healthy.I told him that i do eat and i eat good and work out a lot...
So before the guests came he chased me around the house to hug me 2 more times all long hugs.He held me and talked to me how much he missed me ,i was not saying much but hugged him back.It was hard because I'm also so confused.
He made a comment twice of how long of a drive it is to come see us,10 hrs in one day blah blah blah.The first time i didn't say anything but the second time he said that he was holding me and i just told him"well fix this,it's that simple ,just fix it" he just said "i know".
So we celebrated my little daughter's 1st Bday,he complimented me at least 6 times how great I did with organizing the BDay ,the guests and everything.
So all in all it was good,he was really nice to me and not cold at all ,i even told him that i see a little bit of my husband and i haven't seen him since Christmas.
At one point he again asked how soon we have to tell the apartment complex here that we will be braking the contract,i just answered that we need to go and ask and i have no idea.
On the way back he asked me to go with him to the car ,he held me again and told me he is excited about his second therapy session and that he wants to become a better person
I didn't cry or talked about us at all. Just told him to drive safely ,turned my back and headed back to the apartment.
Since than he has been calling me 1 or 2 times a day,i can see that he is trying ,i don't feel that coldness over the phone so that is why i do not mind talking to him.
I was out last night and had a great time with friends,forgot to charge my phone and this morning he tried calling ...he told me later.
He again told me tonight that he is excited about his therapy visit and can't wait.
It's still hard to tell what he is thinking though,there are moments in which i think that he will want me back but at others I'm not so sure....so still hoping i guess that he will realize what he is doing.
Because i didn't say much when he was here, tonight i decided to tell him that i miss him ,i wasn't sure if he felt that i was too cold when he was here so that is why I've said it.I have not been feeling OK today,i think i'm getting sick so i really have been missing him today so i told him that,he just said"i miss you too guys" still not just ME....ohhh welll.