harder and harder to bite my tongue.... - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-14-2011, 08:49 PM Thread Starter
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harder and harder to bite my tongue....

today she picked up my daughter because i couldnt borrow a car...as usual i get the silent treatment, no how are you...nothing...

put my daughter in the car because it was raining, ask the ex about paperwork regarding my daughter, she instantly snaps at me, saying she doesnt care she just wants to go home and relax because shes sick....biting tongue....then i ask why she was late dropping my daughter off yesterday even after i sent a text....she replies "i never got a text....and i was late because i fell asleep"....

i started to get frustrated....was about to let loose with what after screwing the guy whos manipulating and brainwashing you?....but i didnt....instead i just said....you know what...dont worry about it just go, talk to you later and stormed off....

every single time i see my ex because i have to for my daughter....i get so frustrated and angry and want to yell until my face goes blue at how stupid she is and what shes doing to hurt me more....im trying my hardest to be the bigger person but omg is it getting harder....
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-14-2011, 09:49 PM
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Re: harder and harder to bite my tongue....

yep, I have been there, 20 years I can have a convo with my 1st wife.

Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 07:10 PM
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Re: harder and harder to bite my tongue....

I hear you. Every time I have to talk to WH it hurts me. That's why I've learned to just do what needs to be done during the "exchange" of the kids and not say a word. Questions about paperwork or finances are asked through a text or email. The face to face is very difficult for me so I avoid it. I don't get offended that he doesn't say a word to me. I think he knows better. Give it a try - it may help with the tension and the need to feel like you have to bite your tongue. Just don't give into it. It's very hard, but empowering in a lot of ways.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 07:22 PM
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Re: harder and harder to bite my tongue....

Same here. I get so frustrated every time I see him whether on Skype or in person. Thank God the in person visits don't happen all the time maybe twice a month.I guess I am in the anger phase and I have bitten my tongue several times but I have also lashed out few times.

It's like we are the ones who chose to have affairs, to get a divorce and destroy the family. That part of the treatment hurts like nothing else in this turmoil.

The karma for screwing over a good girl is the b!tch you end up with
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 07:33 PM
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Re: harder and harder to bite my tongue....

I have a great suggestion. Stop seeing her. Arrange for her to drop the child(ren) off at day care and you pick them up at day care so you never have to put up with her again!

Arrange for her to take the child to XYZ's house (with the exchange backpack or whatever you guys do) and you will never, EVER have to see or hear her snotty attitude again. I mean seriously--why put yourself through it?

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 08:00 PM
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Re: harder and harder to bite my tongue....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Affaircare View Post
I have a great suggestion. Stop seeing her. Arrange for her to drop the child(ren) off at day care and you pick them up at day care so you never have to put up with her again!

Arrange for her to take the child to XYZ's house (with the exchange backpack or whatever you guys do) and you will never, EVER have to see or hear her snotty attitude again. I mean seriously--why put yourself through it?
for many years I had an exchange point where I picked up & dropped off my kids, I kept away from her, she kept away from me, I usually had another person with me as well, stopped her making a scene.

Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 08:13 PM
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Re: harder and harder to bite my tongue....

Course my kids are older, so we don't have exchanges or anything like that...but anytime I have to see my wife, I pretty much make sure I'm not alone...I won't say much more than 5 words to her to answer her questions...until she says she is willing to make a committment to work on things, she pretty much doesn't exsist...

only way I can survive limbolove...
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