...so bad.
I can't stop crying all day. I just came back from a good walk at the park with the kids got in the car and cried the whole way while driving....still do.I realized how much i love him ...OMG i feel like i would allow him to step on me like doormat so i can have him back.
What am I going to do,i won't be able to forget him...never....
I just love him so much...it hurts so bad...
Why did that have to happen...i don't understand...i keep thinking of what he's giving up and can't understand...for what...?!
To throw away so much love....
It's so hard to feel like that and have to take care of kids....i lost my appetite again and desire to do anything...i knew it it's coming...God help me!
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
We can all get through this, we are lucky as we have our beautiful children to keep us going.
speak for yourselves
At this point the W is moving this weekend, and so far has ignored requests for contact details for my kids, how the heck am I going to be able to keep in contact if I don't know where they are ?
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Its the not knowing and not understanding that's the hard part xxx
Thank you all friends.
It helps to read your encouraging words.((((HUGS)))) to all of you.
I'm feeling a little better ,i had a family member to talk to all night so i'm trying to stay positive...it'll probably hit me hard again in the morning but for now i am ready for a peaceful sleep...hopefully...with my med.
I have a divorce lawyer meeting tomorrow at 10:30 am ,have to get prepared...it's time!
Hey Crank...does she have a court order (or however it works down your way) for custody?
No, I am no position to fight for custody of the kids.
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Why not just disappear with the kids for the weekend???
easter, Daughter has suggested she, her partner, my eldest son, his partner, me and my 2 youngest all go camping for a few days at Wilsons Prom (victoria, australia) (maps.google.com)
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Or go stealth and follow her azz to the new place???
Look, if I really wanted to know where she is living, I can find out with too much effort, but all I want at this point is phone contact details.
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Man, my friend, I feel for you...couldn't imagine that hurdle...best of luck!
Thank you all friends.
It helps to read your encouraging words.((((HUGS)))) to all of you.
Vivea, you are a trooper, but if you need a little tablet for help sometimes, do not be afraid to see a Dr for a prescription (I find Seroquel does wonder for me, evens out the lows very quickly)
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I'm feeling a little better ,i had a family member to talk to all night so i'm trying to stay positive...it'll probably hit me hard again in the morning but for now i am ready for a peaceful sleep...hopefully...with my med.
It is fantastic to be able to talk to someone who will just let you go, who will give you the hug when you need it, make full use of all your support systems.
I take 2 tamazepan & 1 imsleep and have been getting 4 - 5 hrs in one hit, don't like taking them, but I know if I don't I will be a quivering mess *again* in a few day from lack of sleep.
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I have a divorce lawyer meeting tomorrow at 10:30 am ,have to get prepared...it's time!
Crank you know that this little sentence is gold , this little sentence gives me as much as my anti anxiety pill
God bless for just giving me a little piece of positiveness.I really lack that now a days. Not over till it's over right!
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Hope you have a good sleep Crank, my heart breaks for you and your kids. Hopefully soon she'll forgive you and let you in your kids life!
Vivea,
My heart goes out to you. I can understand what you're feeling and its so painful, especially when you see your beautiful children. I know you want to be strong for them but at the same time, seeing their faces makes your heartache that much more painful. I feel exactly like you do, and am trying not to let my soon to be exhusband use me as a doormat, but sometimes I miss him so bad, I feel like I would do anything for him just to be back. It has been so very hard and since he started getting detached, a few months ago, I lost my appetite too. Ive not gained any weight for the past 3 & 1/2 months. And now, I am also somewhat of an insomniac.
Do hang in there my dear. There is always the hope that things will get better but it just takes a lot of time.
Hugs and prayers for you,
Sakaye Posted via Mobile Device
Crank you know that this little sentence is gold , this little sentence gives me as much as my anti anxiety pill
God bless for just giving me a little piece of positiveness.I really lack that now a days. Not over till it's over right!
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Hope you have a good sleep Crank, my heart breaks for you and your kids. Hopefully soon she'll forgive you and let you in your kids life!
Listen here girly, the last couple of months have been absolute hell for me, today I had a brilliant day, everything that I had to do today just went right, damn, even my ex sister in law (from 1st marriage) has invited my daughter & me over to her place for lunch next week.
For almost 2 weeks I have been battling Optus (mobile phone) to get the number in my name, it is meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but it was a personal battle for me, today that phone number is mine to do with what ever I want.
And you wanna know what it is... SLEEP & brilliant support from those that are closest to me and being able to ramble on on this forum, and to have some absolutely fantastic replies that have given me support and something to think about
If you can take someone with you to see your lawyer, that would be fantastic (my daughter sat with me yesterday during my psych appointment).
I don't know you, never met you in real life, but from what I have read here you are a fantastic person who has had to put up with a lot of sh*t.
Take one of your anti anxiety pill, look in the mirror and tell yourself 'I can do this standing on my head' :-)
Hope you have a good sleep Crank, my heart breaks for you and your kids. Hopefully soon she'll forgive you and let you in your kids life!
bugger, didn't even see this part :-)
thanks, sleep is getting a bit easier, if she plays hard ball too much I will have no choice but to take it to court, where I will have Dr speak for me :-)
ha ha, just got an sms from here, saying there is mail there for me, where should she forward it to, she knows the address here.
my reply, 'busy, will email u l8er'
I am more in control, she has less control over me, I am 'manning up' not being the 'nice guy' that I always was, and it feels good
Vivea,
a few months ago, I lost my appetite too. Ive not gained any weight for the past 3 & 1/2 months. And now, I am also somewhat of an insomniac.
classic signs of depression. Been there, doing that, I have my appetite back, but in the last few months I have gone from 95kg to 78kg, dropped 17kg (errrr, about 38lb), have gone from maybe 2 - 3 hours of broken sleep to getting about 5hrs of solid sleep, need to be able to get that up to about 7 - 8 hrs an I will be back to where I was about 2 years ago.
Go see a Dr, get yourself back in shape (ie: appetite and sleep) and then you will be in a position to start really dealing with issues. (damn I am being so positive today, fingers crossed that it continues
hurting... 
