confused in nc

Hello all. I just joined this morning and have read alot, so I thought I would also post for advice. I have been seperated for 13 months now and married for 17,it sucks being seperated but what can I do. The reason we are seperated is that I had a serious emotional affair for years she was my best friend. I see now that is was stupid of me but I have to move forward now, I have not talked to this person in 8 months and I plan on never talking to her again. Another problem I have is i am a very angry and jealous person I never physically assulted her never would but verbally yes. We also have two children with this marrige. During the seperation she has spent time with a friend a guy from her home state spent a week with him in the mountains, that set me off damn did it. But looking at that should I have said she is moving on I should also, I have not seen anyone at all in the 13 months.
Here is the biggie after about 11 months I asked her could I move back in and she said yes but all it is going to be is your going to help with the kids and the bills. I sleep on the couch we have not had sex kissed or anything she also makes sure that when she changes clothes the door is locked. I am wondering am I a fool here thinking that if I moved back in, in time would this work it self out or am I just here to be a roomate. So confused with all of this. And yes is the answer I do still love her but I feel that she does not. Also she will no talk about us at all. Any suggestions. Thanks

vivea

Ask her to go to a counseling session with you,even if it's just 1 time.May be she will say something there and you'll find out.
Watch movie "Fireproof" ,it'll give you an idea of what to do at home to win her back.... mostly have patience ,if you want her back you should be able to have her back with effort and patience.