Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: I can't stop worrying
SMO3, definitely get counseling. If he won't go, go yourself. This is a lot to try to handle alone and your likelihood of success will improve with counseling. If nothing else, it will help you deal with the stress caused by the lack of trust.
For now, can you just tell yourself, "I'll worry IF it happens." You cannot live your life in fear of him leaving again--you need to develop courage so you know you CAN do it without him if you must. That will give you the strength to stand up for yourself and what you need, whereas fear will have you bending to his will until you break.
You deserve happiness, too, with or without him. When you find the strength to embrace that, you'll become a better partner--maybe not for him (if he can't handle it), but the beauty is, if you find that strength, you will be willing to see him go if he can't meet you 1/2 way. Many people stay in relationships out of fear, and if you get past that fear, a whole new world of opportunity opens up. Good luck!