You poor thing...*hug*. This guy is pure turd. Unbelievable.
Do yourself a BIG favor. Change your number or block his or do WHATEVER it takes to cut him off from you. You don't need this! You can't deal with it..you have too much on your plate already!
Don't answer his calls and change your phone number, block it..WHATEVER you have to do!!
Let HIM worry about it. Just do it! You have to maintain your mental health so you can deal with yourself physically.
Oh my lord, what a complete and utter piece of defecation that man is!
__________________ D DAY: Monday, April 1, 2013 And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
And find the strength you've had inside all along
'Cause life starts now
You poor thing...*hug*. This guy is pure turd. Unbelievable.
Do yourself a BIG favor. Change your number or block his or do WHATEVER it takes to cut him off from you. You don't need this! You can't deal with it..you have too much on your plate already!
Don't answer his calls and change your phone number, block it..WHATEVER you have to do!!
Let HIM worry about it. Just do it! You have to maintain your mental health so you can deal with yourself physically.
Oh my lord, what a complete and utter piece of defecation that man is!
oh, AmImad.....I'm so sorry that you are being dragged through hell by your H.....
TOTALLY agree with the above - DON'T answer the phone to him - you can't deal with that crap right now. It's too much!!!!!!!
It sounds like he is very scared and that is why he is lashing out at you.....he is obviously in a total mess, a melt down, he doesn't know what he is doing, he's off the rails and you are in the firing line............
My husband I think was similar - angry, lashing out, shouting at me, everything was 'my fault'......he sounded totally off the rails, in a mess, stressed and it was easy to make me the witch......
Are you having any counseling? You need to off load all this crap on someone impartial.....does the breast care team have a counselor? Often you can get things done quite quickly through them. Is your GP aware of the situation?
He just called me, damn with held numbers! Basically tore out my heart yet again (but I didn't let it show) He's told me how happy he is, he doesn't ever want to be with me because he hates me.. Of the way I am and use the kids WTF? I took the kids away this weekend and he didn't see them although he was invited to join us. He said that I am a c*nt yet again, that I'm just after sympathy?... ERRRRM ok maybe a little, I have been dumped by the man I love, looking after 3 heart broken children, getting diagnosed with breast cancer having to have radio therapy and deal with it on my own... so yeah if I ask for a hug or say I feel low it is probably because I do want a bit of sympathy. He said we are done, he could never come back to me, because he doesn't like who I am.... He doesn't like fact I wont tell him anything, or talk to him when HE wants to know what's going on. He said that it was obviously bad news from the consultant "so good luck with that" said in a condesending voice... so I just said yeah it was.. it went silent he said "f*ck" and I hung up.
My cancer has spread, treatment is being changed, being given 3 more weeks and another set of painful tests, if nothing changes, then chemo.. I am 30 and a mother of 3 and sat on my own on my sofa with my laptop sobbing my guts out, wishing the one man I really need right now, was here loving me, like he promised to the day he married me.
In short I'm f*cked.
Am I mad,
I am so, so sorry about what you're going through! All my troubles with my stbxh are laughable in comparison to what you're going through.
I wish I could give you a great big hug and just be there for you!
I pray that it will all work out well for you and you fight this beast. And I don't mean your scumbag husband.
If you want to talk PM me and I'll send you my phone number.
All the love in the world for you!
AmI..OMG girl...i'm speechless ...i just want to tell you one more time that you are amazing...you're so strong.
I'm sorry about your health , good is coming your way...there is no way God will let you suffer that much...I refuse to believe.
Your H. is so lost that he'll never find happiness, without you he'll be so pathetic that he won't be able to stand himself...you know WHY because he is not able to fully love someone...he is incapable to truly love.
Please take care of yourself and your beautiful kids.I would say to try and completely cut him off from your life but I know that it's easy to say. I'm just so disappointed in human nature at the moment...how can someone behave like that.I don't get it.
We all know he has this condition but still ... my God what a cold hearted bastard.....
hugs hunny...i really wish i was there for you...i'm just so sad that I know about this and can't do a thing to help you... it sucks so much
Thank you all so much, I am sorry I didn't reply last night, I just was in a bit of self pitying mode.
He called once more after I posted, I don't know why he bothered, he carried on with the mental abuse, I did end up just sat there crying, I just asked him why he has to be so horrible? He doesn't seem concerned for my health, he wasn't crying he was just barking at me yet again..so I refused to tell him what is going on with me, I did get angry and said I will make a living will, and that I didn't want the kids going to him.. Which hurt him alot.. but I was angry...
He said he didn't come this weekend, because it would mean spending time with me, then in the next breath, said he wants to come over for dinner on Wednesday and put the kids to bed... I'm sorry but doesn't he realise I will be there... and he would have to spend time with me?!
He told me that I've got confidence.. (someone please tell me where I can find it?!) and I've lost weight and I look good, I'll soon find someone else. He keeps asking if I've got someone else... am I looking for someone else... Seriously if I was would I try and work on my marriage?
He keeps asking me what is there to save, what's the point of him asking me? I could reel off a list as long as my arm, he's never going to listen.
I asked him if he was truly happy, he said he will be when he moves into his own place.. He later text saying he wasn't happy... but he's happy he's not with me.. I never replied..
I told him to call my spare mobile phone to talk to the kids, I'll make sure it's charged, I'll leave it on the coffee table and the kids can have their own 'Daddy hotline'
He went mad at me, telling me he'll call whatever phone he wants, when he wants... I tried to explain he wouldn't have to deal with me, the kids can answer and hang up... But no, he just shouted me down, what a suprise.. I got bored of being had a go at so
I just said
"Tell me you don't want me ever, I will get out of your life I won't need to talk to you, you can do whatever you want and I wont be part of it"
There was a long pause and he said..
"I dont want you"
I just said "Fine" and hung up. He then texted me saying as I told you the truth, can you tell me what the consultant said?
"No" ... thats it.. I spoke to a friend last night, who is going through rubbish with his own relationship last night, and he was such a help, he made me realise why the NC is so important... That my H isn't going to listen to reason no matter what I say, he's not going to say "wow that makes so much sense, why didn't I see it before"
My H said "It's coming up on 5 months, I'm not back, what does that tell you"
I just can't be bothered any more, all my fight has gone, when I went to bed last night, I felt like I don't actually want to talk to him again.. maybe I am gettin to the point of no return who knows?... but just now... the way I feel.. I would be happy if maintenece appeared in my bank every month and I never had to deal with him again..
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Step 1, block him from calling your mobile, that means no call, no txt from him.
Step 2, leave the spare mobile on the coffee table.
Step 3, make sure the kids know you are not available to talk to H if he asks.
You go girl, you are doing great, remember, family, friends us here are all with you xx
Step 1, block him from calling your mobile, that means no call, no txt from him.
Step 2, leave the spare mobile on the coffee table.
Step 3, make sure the kids know you are not available to talk to H if he asks.
You go girl, you are doing great, remember, family, friends us here are all with you xx
Thank you *hugs* Life is so crap right now, please can someone stop the world, I'd like to get off...
He texted this am, about our daughters bday which is this Sunday, I haven't replied as yet.. I don't know what to do anymore, would love him to be part of her birthday, I mean he is her father.. but at the same time...
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
OMG!!! Please consider me added to the hug-fest! I'm soooo sorry you're having to deal with so much at once! I'll be thinking of you! Posted via Mobile Device
OMG!!! Please consider me added to the hug-fest! I'm soooo sorry you're having to deal with so much at once! I'll be thinking of you! Posted via Mobile Device
Thank you very much.
It's lovely how strangers care more, than someone I dedicated my life to for 15 years *shrugs*
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Oh and I forgot to say... another reason he doesn't want to come home is because I didn't have a job in the past... I plan on working come Sept when our youngest starts full time school.. that was always the plan... But he said it had to take this for me to get a job?! Errrm confused I am?!
He said if I was working before he wouldn't be so tired of it all and disillusioned....
Anyone care to explain that last sentance to me? So me being a full time mum to 3 children and his housekeeper where he didn't lift a finger?.... thats not a job?
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Sounds a lot like mine. He has said I was greedy by expecting him to do as much as he did. All the stuff he did - like cooking dinner the 2 nights a week I was at classes until 11pm, and getting the kids up for school the next mornings. Which he was up anyway to go to work & I only slept on if the little guy stayed asleep.
For Petes sake, they are such babies. Not sure what they expect. Us to do everything at home, and bring in a salary as well. And be waiting at the door for them with pipe & slippers when they come in???
Sounds a lot like mine. He has said I was greedy by expecting him to do as much as he did. All the stuff he did - like cooking dinner the 2 nights a week I was at classes until 11pm, and getting the kids up for school the next mornings. Which he was up anyway to go to work & I only slept on if the little guy stayed asleep.
For Petes sake, they are such babies. Not sure what they expect. Us to do everything at home, and bring in a salary as well. And be waiting at the door for them with pipe & slippers when they come in???
I was doing a Open University course from home, so I didn't ever need him to babysit, he didn't get up when the kids were tiny, never did one night feed.. EVER and I had c-sections with all of mine, his one job was on a Wednesday night, to put the wheelie bin out for the dustcart on Thurs am. He would cook occasionally and my H is an amazing cook (I miss his steak and peppercorn sauce) He would sometimes cook on a Sunday for our family meal, but I would be left to clear up the mess.
I am feeling pretty low atm after a bout of RT this morning, I keep wishing he would just come home, make me that yummy dinner, curl up on the sofa and then snuggle up in bed with me. Why doesn't he ever think like that? Or maybe he does, but never says anything *shrugs*
He never told me he wanted me to work... never, the plan was when the lil one went to school I'd work as a Teachers assistant at my kids school till my course was finished...
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Step 1, block him from calling your mobile, that means no call, no txt from him.
Step 2, leave the spare mobile on the coffee table.
Step 3, make sure the kids know you are not available to talk to H if he asks.
Holy crap! You've GOT to do this at the very least!! If you can, CHANGE your number and DO NOT give it to him!
He's piling on the mental abuse like crazy! And you're sick! And the mother of his children? I mean, this guy is NUTS!
Don't fight back or try to reason with him. AVOID HIM LIKE THE PLAGUE! Why answer the phone and let him pile this crap on you? You don't deserve that! You don't have to take it!
Let him deal with the kids himself and CUT OFF all contact with you and he'll have to make arrangements to pick up the kids and spend time with them on his own. Don't get involved. LEAVE when he comes over!! Don't make yourself available for him to trample you like this! Obviously he's really enjoying putting you down. I hope he dies a slow, horrid death in the private hell he's going to.
My Lord, if you were on this side of the ocean I'd take you out for a steak dinner. You need some lovin'! *HUG* Hold on and be strong for yourself and your kids. If he asks for a drink you spit in it, y'hear? What a total a*sswipe...*shakes head*
Don't answer his calls!! Delete his texts Get on here and reread this thread to remind you if you are tempted! You need to look out for #1 and that's YOU. (and your kids but if YOU aren't sane and healthy you can't take care of them!)
You send him over here, I'm going to kick his sorry a*ss and then leave tread marks on his back when I run him over with my Jeep. Yah, we'll see who is so tough when I get through with him!
__________________ D DAY: Monday, April 1, 2013 And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
And find the strength you've had inside all along
'Cause life starts now
Re: Seriously.. 
A man who is making my husband look good..
