My parents have told me to tell him, but its not open for discussion, just thought he should know... I think I'll do that, if he doesn't care, then I'll know won't I... Posted via Mobile Device
I don't have any idea what you should do. There are no rules where you are at. I think either way. I think he could go with you and it would not change things either way much. I would almost suggest to tell him about it and tell him its ok for him to go along with you, but zero fighting/arguing.
I sent him this: I'm going into hospital on Monday to have a lump removed, they wanted me in on Monday, but I wasn't going to ruin my daughters birthday. They're going in from the underneath to see if its attacked the chest wall, I'll know more after the Op. Just thought you should know.
I really need advice please, I'm torn, I've just been informed I've got to go into hospital, to have a 3cm lump removed that they discovered this am, they want to explore at the same time, to see if its in my chest wall... ie bone & muscle, if it is I'm pretty much screwed... there is also a chance I may have to have a masectomy if anything else is discovered.
Do I tell him, I'm going in for the op? He hasn't asked how I am since Mon... this is where I need him..This is where I want his arms around me..telling me ill be ok...but I know it won't change his feelings for me... Posted via Mobile Device
If you do contact him I think it should be with the facts. "Docs discovered 3cm lump. Getting it removed in addition to exploratory surgery. Mastectomy possible." This is a huge deal and ultimately it's up to you, though. If you do invite him, I think you should avoid talk about the relationship.
Who's watching your little one? I'm assuming you're going to be out of commission for a while. If you need him to take her, certainly contact him and tell him it's his turn to be responsible.
He just said 'thank you for letting me know, is there anything I can do' then proceeded to ask about weekend plans. I just replied saying 'there's nothing you can do is there? I'd love you to be there for me but I don't expect anything'
My mum & dad are going to help me with my children. He's not jumping to come & help me, he really doesn't care does he? Why am I kidding myself. Posted via Mobile Device
AmI...so sorry for what you're going through ...it's not fair to have to have so much on your plate to deal with it breaks my heart (((HUGS)))
I think is good that you told him...he might have to help with the kids...don't let him out of responsibilities...if he has to take a few days off work than he has to.
OMG really... that's it ????!!!!
His text to you should have been " i will be there for you ,i want to be there for you,i'll take care of the kids,i don't want you to worry about anything"
I know, I'm now sat with my dad crying, I guess this is it. It is well & truly over. He doesn't love me, Ive got cancer, its got worse & he really doesn't give a crap. I have to give up now. Posted via Mobile Device
AmI..i think he wants to escape responsibilities and of course your health is giving him one more reason to get away...he's just selfish and wants to be free. It is not about you or anything...he just doesn't want to worry about anything but himself.
Most guys that separate with the selfish "i just want to be singe" reason feel that way but few of them will have the conscience and at the end do what is right.
So sorry babe...he is really not worth it if he can treat you like that...i'm sure he'll probably be there for a total stranger as long as it's not you.... I mean there are limits...
It's the hardest thing I've had to face. He's not my husband, he's never going to be the man that I've loved since I was 15 years old. I'll always love him, he's the father of my children & no one can ever take that away from me, I was his first everything. I hope & pray that one day he'll wake up, lonely, depressed & missing what he had. He'll pick up his children see me & feel how he felt when we he first fancied me & I pray to all things holy that I am in a better place where I can say no, I'm happier now.
I love him so much. But I'm just not worth caring about, I know that now. Posted via Mobile Device
I love him so much. But I'm just not worth caring about, I know that now. Posted via Mobile Device
No, no, no. You are not going down that road. He is not the man you know & love. You deserve so much goodness in your life. You are beautiful, kind, & strong. You are a fantastic mom. A good friend. Somebody I would love to know better. You are worth your weight in gold, dont you forget that.
No, no, no. You are not going down that road. He is not the man you know & love. You deserve so much goodness in your life. You are beautiful, kind, & strong. You are a fantastic mom. A good friend. Somebody I would love to know better. You are worth your weight in gold, dont you forget that.
I actually burst into tears reading that. Thank Babyheart, I feel like when I get in the positive mindset, something knocks me back down, and I am an emotional wreak again.
H just spoke to the kids, then spoke to me briefly to tell me he hadn't been at work all day.. so that's nice, he could have actually called up and been concerned when I sent him this text..
'There's nothing you can do is there? I'd love you to be there for me but I don't expect anything'...
I did ask why he never replied to it, he just said "Oh I was going to give you a call once the kids were in bed"... Yeah ok whatever, he could have sent me a msg saying that couldn't he?
I am so scared, I have 3 gorgeous babies, I know I can't do anything until Monday and they can tell me the extent of the cancer, if I have to have Chemo, how am I going to cope? Ok I have my mum and dad, but what if it's the worse possible news? He should be here for me, being scared with me, praying his wife, the woman he loves more than life, the woman who gave him the 3 greatest gifts in the world.. is going to be ok..
He's not here... he seemingly doesn't care.. My dad said he may be burying his head, pretending it's not really happening as it's too much to cope with (something my dad does)
But there's a chance I could be screwed, if that thought doesn't scare him, the fact he could lose me forever, I don't think I'll ever stand a chance...
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
OMG AmI I want to scream for you hunny.You're like a bird in a cage,no mater which side you're going you still end up hitting the cage. Why life is so Fu**ed up sometimes.
I have never had to deal with C.(knock-knock) ...i don't know anybody around me with the C. scare.Can't imagine how it must feel especially when you're a Mom and have 3 kids...But you're probably the strongest woman I know. Knowing how hard it is to deal with rejection from the man you've loved so much I just can't even imagine what is it like to add the C. scare . How do you cope with all the emotions...it's way too much.
I don't know what to say....it's so fu**ed up that he is not the man that you once knew..the one that won't leave you in such horrible moment...
Be brave honey ,be positive as much as you can...think about the future...you will beat this..you can do it.Everything else after that will be a breeze,someone good is waiting for you somewhere...someone that is going to give you much happiness that you will be drowning in it..
Is there more of a story as to why your husband doesn't take his child more often? Honestly, he shouldn't have a choice at this point. Things are getting serious for you and I think you should present it to him as such. If something did happen to you (I hate typing that, btw) he would have full custody. For him to get that custody without having regular visits with your child would probably leave your little one extremely stressed. For her sake, I think it's time you told him to step up.
I feel like the above may seem harsh. I'm apologize if it's taken that way. Talking about mortality and parenting choices is tricky.
I love him so much. But I'm just not worth caring about, I know that now. Posted via Mobile Device
You're going to let a man defeat you? You're stronger than that. It may not feel like it, but you are. Your focus should be on kicking cancer's ass and becoming a happy woman without him.
If you want to feel like **** you can do that by yourself, right? Why drag his sorry ass along for the ride? Focus on you. When you get to the point that you realize you really don't need him, then decide if you want him. You will get to that point. YOU WILL. It's going to take effort, but you'll get there.
Re: Seriously.. 
