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Old 03-09-2011, 10:30 PM   #241 (permalink)
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Thanks Crank
At the moment i have to say i'm more excited for the kids than myself.I'm just happy that they will have mommy and daddy under the same roof....
There is a long road ahead of me ...that is for sure :/

AmI...you have beautiful eyes girl ,I wish i can see your whole face... i have to re-activate my facebook.I already got plenty of Emails from friends asking where did I go and why I am not in their friends list...I haven't responded yet...ugh ..i have to though..
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Old 03-09-2011, 11:23 PM   #242 (permalink)
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Thanks Crank
At the moment i have to say i'm more excited for the kids than myself.I'm just happy that they will have mommy and daddy under the same roof....
There is a long road ahead of me ...that is for sure :/
long road for most of us...

Quote:
AmI...you have beautiful eyes girl ,I wish i can see your whole face... i have to re-activate my facebook.I already got plenty of Emails from friends asking where did I go and why I am not in their friends list...I haven't responded yet...ugh ..i have to though..
better be sitting down when you view a full face pic, especially the newest one :-)
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Old 03-10-2011, 01:37 AM   #243 (permalink)
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Well I have woken up this morning full of nervousness, and I hate it. I was laughing last night and now this! By the way, I wouldn't be just be jumping into a relationship when I am so hung up on my H, but I was given a self esteem boost, bearing in mind how my H has made me feel, the woman he left me for *shakes head* and then told ME that I hold MYSELF in too high regard..

But it has really made me think, do I REALLY want this man, a man that can trample all over me and not feel any guilt? Who continues to build me up and knock me down?
When there is another man who seemingly adores me.. Ok I may never get with 'C' but it has made me feel "Do you know what, I'm not all that bad, someone else thinks I am funny, pretty, intelligent, strong (He knows all the crap I am going through) he speaks so highly of my kids, so they are obviously not an issue (was always scared I wouldn't find anyone due to having 3 kids)

I still can't quite see myself with anyone else other than my H, but is that due to not knowing anything else.. having been with my H since I was 15? I mean HE could see HIMSELF with someone else, and quite frankly, that makes me sick... He doesn't deserve me does he?? Rather than giving in to his every whim, I should be saying, "Sorry, too much has happened now, you've hurt me, I am worth more than that"... I am feeling that this morning and I think thats why I feel nervous.. Not because I desperately want my life back, but because I am realising I AM worth more than this, I AM a good person and someone out there will treat me like the Princess Crank says I am

Vivea, thank you, when you're on later, I'll put my whole pic, then swap it back again.. make sure you have a sick bucket!

Crank- shuddapya face!
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Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
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Old 03-10-2011, 03:50 AM   #244 (permalink)
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I try hard to not hate him and the only way I was able to do this is by convincing myself that he has some sort of personality disorder and THAT is not HIM.
I actually do believe that this is somehow diagnosable...he is sick and lost and he is going to get better...
At the moment things are OK.He keeps calling and we talk...nothing about our situation yet but about stuff we will do together...
He calls me honey ...he is very pleasant on the phone,i will see him on Friday and than on Sunday,just for hour or two but that's OK.
I have to say I'm not as much into him as I was before the separation,for some reason i even stopped being jealous of where he goes when i'm not there...it's like I don't care.I also don't feel as in love as I was before....things have changed...it is probably due the fact that i do not see him at all.
He's hurt me so much I hope I can overcome the nightmare that he's put me through. :/

Viv, I've read this and then I've re-read it, and I really hope you wont get upset with me when I say this..

Please please please make sure you know what you are doing Sweety, don't jump in with both feet unless you know what you truly want.. Don't get back together just for the sake of your babies, children I have learnt are very resilient, my children for example, although they miss their Daddy, and talk to him everyday and see him once a week, they are actually happy without him being here all the time, the older ones have obviously seen me crying my eyes out and what he has done and they don't like him for that..

In my mind if we got back together, then everything would be ok, our family unit would be perfect... but I think I am kidding myself I would constantly be questioning why he did what he did, why just run away etc..

I've grown so fond of people on here, people I've never met or even seen.. but I do genuinely care for you all, I don't want you to hurt any more! Do what is right for you, You are an amazing woman, as long as your babies have you they will be happy xxx
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Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:30 AM   #245 (permalink)
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I don't want you to hurt any more! Do what is right for you,
No matter what either of you do, its going to hurt like hell.

Your right though. Staying with a SO that isn't willing to treat you right isn't ok. I still advocate for really TRYING to make it work, but that takes 2 people. For about 3 months of my own story it was just me trying to convince my wife that I was a better person and wanted to make a happy life with her. The 6 months before that it was my wife trying to make me realize and then us both learning HOW to do it. We both got VERY close to giving up. We both went to bed crying. We both woke up anxious, burned out, hurt, and tired. It was worth it in my story, which was close to falling apart many times.

Its up to you to decide when to stop trying. Unfortunately, theres always the chance that 2-3 months after you give up he decides he wants you back.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:43 AM   #246 (permalink)
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I am just hurting so much, I am all over the place, he was meant to spend a family day with us on Sat, he then said he wanted to meet us there.. I explained I am going to be sore and would struggle with getting 3 kids on and off of the train... cutting a long story short, he is going out on Sat night, he wasn't even going to come home on the train with us, so I would have 3 very tired children to get home..

I gave him a choice, go out with us, come home, tuck his kids into bed OR go out with his friends.. Guess what he picked?

I now have an 8 year old crying her eyes out
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Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:52 AM   #247 (permalink)
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I am just hurting so much, I am all over the place, he was meant to spend a family day with us on Sat, he then said he wanted to meet us there.. I explained I am going to be sore and would struggle with getting 3 kids on and off of the train... cutting a long story short, he is going out on Sat night, he wasn't even going to come home on the train with us, so I would have 3 very tired children to get home..

I gave him a choice, go out with us, come home, tuck his kids into bed OR go out with his friends.. Guess what he picked?

I now have an 8 year old crying her eyes out
I'd like to hit him upside the head with a clue-by-four.

Please tell me that you're ready for NC now. PLEASE!!!

I think you should let him know you don't need him on Monday either, and if you feel up to it ask your guy friend who offered.
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:48 AM   #248 (permalink)
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OMG...are you serious....Yes please someone smack him hard
can't he do both for God's sake...he can tuck them in and than go whatever the hell he want's...wow



AmI... right now i have no idea what is going to happen between H. and me ...I have to go there ,live with him and as we all know we can always separate if it doesn't work out ..that is the easiest part...i have to see how he is going to respond to me...i feel like that at the moment because I do not physically see him....I have to spend time with him and see where my feelings go,may be he'll open up and tell me things and will turn everything around...I don't feel like i can't stand him or anything I'm just confused at the moment and don't feel the connection that we had...I have to say I felt like that before when he would upset me with his lies...than i see the sweet HIM and my feelings come back...so you never know
He is an amazing guy and will never treat me bad..I know that for sure...I guess I still have the guard up because he hasn't told me he loves me and wants to stay with me yet...he also wants to see where things go....there are things to explore and i'm glad I'll have the chance...that is all I wanted anyways.
I will never stay with him only because of the kids though,I have to have feelings for him in order for me to be able to stay with him.
Thankfully for me there was no OW so I only have to deal with his spending habits and lying about it (out of fear) ...but at that point i realized that as long as we have roof over our heads and we are not in debt ...we will be OK.I have to let go and let him enjoy his money,i will soon start my own business and will make my own money so i can decide what I do with them. H. spends a lot of money ...he loves his "toys" but also he never refused to buy me anything that i want...not that i wanted too many expensive things but there were times he would push me to buy something really expensive because I can't seem to let go.
Now I know better and will not argue with him about spending and also will not stop him from enjoying his hobbies...These were our main issues...not too bad is it...and i already have a solution...so we'll see.
Also he admitted to his lying and as I mentioned before is seeing therapist for it and is dealing with his compulsive lying ...He told me that he will never lie to me ..and I'm sure it'll help him when he sees that I do not get upset when he tells me something that he wants to do or buy.Life is too short to argue over stupid things ...i realized ,i want my family and will work hard to keep it together.


Can't wait to see you picture later
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:23 AM   #249 (permalink)
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Well, my H is a fast worker.. he's got another woman. I've deleted his number. I'm done. He's not seeing my kids this weekend, he's seeing her. I hurt so much.
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:31 AM   #250 (permalink)
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AmI .....Noooooo,so sorry girl...what an AS*hole. Well now you have to close that chapter of your life ...he's not even worth for you to spit on him.
hugs hunny you deserve way better...you have to work on forgetting him and please do not ever get back with him
I'm just so upset for you right now...
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:48 AM   #251 (permalink)
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He said he'd never get back with me, that I am too much hard work and he can't be bothered to work on us, it's easier to walk away.

Oh well, I've broken my heart. He's made himself clear. He has slagged me off left right and centre. I hate him.
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Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:02 PM   #252 (permalink)
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wow. I'm so sorry.

I really don't even understand how people like your H can do that. Maybe he has been cheating for awhile and made it all about you.
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:03 PM   #253 (permalink)
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Wow...sending big hugs!!!
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bad love contols us like pawns on a chess board...
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:05 PM   #254 (permalink)
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Crank- shuddapya face!
lol
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Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:07 PM   #255 (permalink)
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Well, my H is a fast worker.. he's got another woman. I've deleted his number. I'm done. He's not seeing my kids this weekend, he's seeing her. I hurt so much.
Posted via Mobile Device
damn, I am so sorry to read that, my heart goes out to you
huge hugs to you and the kids xx
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Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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