Freak is so right, you need to stop speaking to him, he has all the control if you do. my stbx does the same thing. example, last night my son told me my ex sil was pregnant, I wanted to find out for sure so I called stbxh and said is sue preg, he said oh yeah i forgot to tell u, he said let me call you right back, i said no you dont need to call back, you answered my question, he insisted on it, I told him no you dont need to and I hung up, 5 minutes later he was calling, he called a few times I never answered.
He came to pick up my son last nite to take him for ice cream, my son and I were upstairs I was laying in bed reading and son on his puter, stbx comes and just walks right upstairs into my room, hey whats up. (the house is still ours) but see he thinks he still has control of everything. I am moving the 24th of this month into my own place and its gonna kill him as he wont be able to just hang around like he does here. I will let him see the place once, tell him to take a good look its the last time your coming in, he will think nothing of sitting here for an hour. its all control. you need to let go and if its meant to be it will be. he needs to know you might want him but you dont need him. we have a sick cat and I asked stbx if he would take him to live with him as I am gonna be renting and he throws up and I dont want him to ruin anything, well stbx wouldnt, now cat has doctors appt today, stbx calls yesterday asks what time the appt is cause he has his own doc appt tom, i told him and said your not coming, there is no need for you to be there, he said I want to know whats wrong with him, i said they will do blood work and I wont find out for a few days and i will tell you. he went on to ask again what time it was. I gave him the wrong time. really, he dont want to take him to help me out but wants to be at the appt. its all bull.
your husband is gonna use the kids as his excuse to get to you. mine does it everyday. I told him if he wants to dicuss our son leave a message about it and if i think its important enough to call you back i will, but i wont take nonsence calls. monday i had a tooth pulled, he called my house i was on the other line so didnt pick it up, told son to call him from my cell, soon as son hangs up with stbx my home phone starts ringing, its stbx, i answered he says should you be talking on the phone, you just had a tooth pulled. really, i said I will be going outside in 5 minutes to throw a ball around with son, i think i can talk on the phone. he gets so pissed when i have my son call him from the cell cause he thinks i am on the phone with another guy. last week i didnt answer and had son call from cell and he called me again and said why do you do that, i said what he said have him call from the cell, you can click over and give him the home phone is you call so imortant you need to have him call from the cell, i said yup, what is the big deal which phone he calls from. unreal. but 20 yrs of controlling is hard to let go i guess. so see i never begged, cried or pleaded for him to come home, i never really call him unless it has to do with son, and mostly I handle things myself with son, but he now looks like the one that is misssing me.