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Seriously..

59K views 1K replies 30 participants last post by  Freak On a Leash 
#1 · (Edited)
It's going to be four months this Sunday since my husband walked out. Most of you know what's been going on, he's talking about getting a house share miles away from us, he seems to be moving further & further from me, I miss him so much, today, I'm not coping that well today, I feel like he's so detached, that he feels nothing, yet, I cant turn off my feelings, I'm sat here crying, wishing he'd just call me, tell me he's made a mistake, he does want to be with me...

I started a serious no contact routine a couple of days ago, reviewing the 180 list, but seriously, what are the chances of him missing me? I keep seeing peoples posts where they have little glimmers of home, yet my H, is saying us spending time together is not a good idea....yet he texts me & asks how I'm feeling.. is that coz he feels obligated?.. he said he can't see his feelings ever changing... yet a few days before he was saying he wanted to see how we went... I mean should I carry on with no contact (everyone says too) or be nice, talk to him... how long has your separation lasted? I want him home more than anything, I just want a chance, but I'm not begging.

Please someone give me advice, some hope, right now.. I feel like I do need him, he always said he fit me like a glove, he'd wrap his arms around me & Id feel so safe. I'm scared.
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#1,013 ·
My Mum has been really hurt over it all.

But now she is just really angry wants me to forget him and move on, to stop crying over him, he's not going to change, he's not going to come back. She's seen the hurt the children and I have gone through and she's said if we got back togther she wouldn't be welcoming him back with open arms.


I had another nightmare last night :( I am hoping this one doesn't come true :( He told me her name was 'Kerry' *sigh*
 
#1,016 ·
Haha, my mom's been all over this from the get go. Took all she had to not call him or corner him when she was here. To be fair, she only knew about everything as of three weeks ago. She is coming this Sunday, too. She says he's already gone, and I need to just look out for myself and my kids. She's all about everything happening for a reason and that he isn't my reason. She says it's in God's hands and there is something better on the other side of this.
 
#1,021 ·
I live in Rohnert Park Ca about 60 miles north of San Francicso. Here there is a 6month waiting period before the court will even hear the case, you can file for temporary motions(child support, alimony, and custody) during that time. But still I havent seen anyone on this board that got a D finalized in less than 8months.That doesnt mean it cant happen. Help 239s took almost 2 yrs 827 is still fighting hers.

Happy Birthday, AmImad and may this year be great for you and your kids, YOU WILL get THROUGH this even if it doesnt feel like it.
 
#1,024 ·
We dont have to do counseling the 6moths is a cooling down period actually i think there is at least that in backlog at the courts. When children are involved you do have to meet with a court appointed mediator who will evaluate your parental plan and submit their recommendations to the court.

So I guess the one thing that stays the same is a person will always be petitioned when a spouse files.
 
#1,026 ·
I expect to get divorce papers January 27th 2012, if I don't I will email her and demand to know why she hasn't filed yet !
 
#1,027 ·
I'm not bloody filing he wants out, he can do all the bloody leg work!

He's gone, he moves to his new place tomorrow... so.... Here's to my new life..
 
#1,029 ·
I'm not bloody filing he wants out, he can do all the bloody leg work!
too right, put his money where his mouth is, so to speak.

He's gone, he moves to his new place tomorrow... so.... Here's to my new life..
:toast:
 
#1,030 ·
Thanks fellas, bit emotional today, gonna attempt to keep busy...
 
#1,031 ·
Hang in there, babe. I'm struggling with the idea of whether I need to know the truth about the EA. I think I do, it's just not solid. But I don't know if it matters.

His @ss can file for divorce and I won't make it easy for him.
 
#1,032 ·
I did struggle when our eldest cried today because her Daddy wasn't with us celebrating my birthday and that cut me to the core :( I told her it was her Daddies choice, she has me and her grandparents and we're not going anywhere, that I love her more than anything else in the world and whilst we have each other we can beat anything, she gave me the most amazing smile, looked up at me with her chocolate button eyes, and gorgeous lashes blinking and told me I was the best Mum in the world xx
 
#1,035 ·
Thank you both!

On my Birthday, I didn't really do anything, but yesterday we went to see HOP then had a great meal out with my family.

Today I took the kids to the woods and an old country manor house, then we went to a diner for our dinner (as it's mothers day) It was my children and I and I did it, I had an amazing time we played frisbee and the kids blew millions of bubbles, I didn't need him. He missed out on yet another amazing day!
 
#1,036 ·
Took the kids out again yesterday, had such a good day, he spoke to them on the phone, I really hope he was jealous that he didn't get to do this with his family...

I pray to every power that be, that he is going to be so f*cking lonely!!!
 
#1,038 ·
I have spent the last day and a half reading this entire thread from the beginning. I wish I could do some ninja-sidestep and slink along the walls until I fit right in with this family you all have formed here.

Such strong women (and men), and I feel like I know so many of you just from reading. You are all so beautiful!

Mu husband moved out not quite a month ago. I'm pretty lost. I definitely found a forum where I think I will be spending quite a bit of time.....
 
#1,043 ·
I have spent the last day and a half reading this entire thread from the beginning. I wish I could do some ninja-sidestep and slink along the walls until I fit right in with this family you all have formed here.
no need for all that, welcome to the family, sorry to have to have you here (I mean that in nicest possible way!)

Such strong women (and men), and I feel like I know so many of you just from reading. You are all so beautiful!
our strength comes from our family :)

Mu husband moved out not quite a month ago. I'm pretty lost. I definitely found a forum where I think I will be spending quite a bit of time.....
:( lousy way to have to find a place like this, but you will find some absolutely brilliant people here
 
#1,039 ·
Momof2inMT I do not think you could have put my feelings any better. I too spent a couple of days reading this thread a few pages at a time, and it does feel such a close and supportive family. It has realy helped me in my current situation to stay strong. Whilst still together with my husband, my situation is very difficult and changing daily, and a separation is quite probable. I have just not been able to sit down and write my story. Just don't have the inclanation. Have not seen postings by AmImad for several days, hope all is well with you. You seem such a strong woman. You too crankshaw (maybe not a strong woman:)!), but strong and able to step back from situations and give sound and helpful adivce. You don't know how much just reading your situations has helped me to stay strong. Thanks, and to all the other regulars on this thread:).
 
#1,040 ·
Oh, AmiMad is doing fine! We all formed a facebook private group and we post there. You guys should share your stories, it helps so much. This section of the forum, "Going through divorce or separation" is really a tight knit group. We all understand how it is to be the rejected spouse who has tried everything to save the marriage. Sucky situation to be in, but there are tons of us in the same sinking boat. We provide strength to each other so that we can rise up again and walk on our own two feet. Without our undeserving spouses.
 
#1,049 ·
now 1,000, in only a few months !
If you are a FB addict you are welcome to TAMed, just IM me you FB details and I will get you into our 'exclusive' club :)
 
#1,050 ·
I bookmarked this thread. 70 freakin' pages! I think it was half that when I last logged in. I'll get caught up about the time I collect Social Security and that's assuming there STILL IS Social Security when it's time for me to collect it. :rofl:

Happy reading. I need to get another bottle of wine or two or three here..;)
 
#1,052 ·
Hard liquor..NEVER. Ugh. I hate the stuff and since my H drank rum I can't even take the smell of that stuff. I can do a shut of Jaeger if pushed.

Nope, I'm a beer and wine drinker. I love Blue Moon draft and Coors Light will do in a pinch.

As for wine, I like white zinfandel, specifically Barefoot (a California wine). That's what I'll pour for myself when I'm home and want to chill out/relax and drink with a meal. Beer is what I like to drink at a club when I'm dancing.
 
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