I'm having a crappy day as well.H. was supposed to be here 2 hrs ago to pick up daughter,she is waiting and asking every 5 min...you know how kids are.
He texted at one point that traffic is crazy and he can't talk because of his battery. I do not believe him.I know he has 3 spare batteries and a car charger so i don't understand,and i'm sure he just woke up later than normal and that is why is still on the road...ughhhh. How hard it is to be a normal human being...at least to your kids.
Gosh i hope i can talk to him today,i have not seen him for more that a month.Why everything has to be so dificult with these people,just say the truth for God's sake.
Do you think I should let him come on our daughters birthday? It's tearing me apart, I am taking her to a safari park, so I know she's going to have a blast, but at the same time can I do a whole day with him?
EDIT
But he keeps texting me asking me things like "Do you think I've made someone up to hurt you?"
He's winding me up, I can't do it...
Please tell me you haven't been responding.
I don't think you should invite him. He's fully capable of throwing another celebration for your daughter.
Your husband is emotionally abusive. He'd probably use your daughter's party to abuse you further. If you invite him you're setting yourself up for even more emotional turmoil. You're trying to gain control, but you are no where near where you need to be at the moment. Do not invite the man.
Is it possible that you invite him but avoid him the whole time.If you're outside just avoid him ,walk in front or behind him with a relative. If he approaches you to talk remind him why he is there and answer only Q about the kids.
I mean IDK i don't want all this to turn against you,he is the father.
H. came for my 1 years old BDay ,he was here at home.My relatives were here and we pretended nothing was going on,no body was rude.
It's a BDay and we have to get along somehow for these events...it's all about the kids.
Is it possible that you invite him but avoid him the whole time.If you're outside just avoid him ,walk in front or behind him with a relative. If he approaches you to talk remind him why he is there and answer only Q about the kids.
I mean IDK i don't want all this to turn against you,he is the father.
H. came for my 1 years old BDay ,he was here at home.My relatives were here and we pretended nothing was going on,no body was rude.
It's a BDay and we have to get along somehow for these events...it's all about the kids.
And the kids deserve a healthy mother. This man is doing everything in his power to get her to remain unstable and under his thumb. She keeps getting sucked in through texts, do you really think she can resist him in person?
They may be able to do birthdays together in the future. Right now it's not a good idea. She is entirely too vulnerable and it will result in a setback.
Ami, you're just not strong enough for this yet. He can throw his own party for your daughter. She'd benefit more from one-on-one time with him. The two of you together will add nothing but tension.
I am seriously torn over this, He is her daddy, she loves him, he was the first one to hold her, I posted the thing he wrote about when she was born.
Can I seriously stop him from coming and joining in, I'll never forgive myself, I am sat crying over this. I don't want to do something I'll regret, or something he'll hold against me forever..
He did send me some texts this evening, telling me he does care about me, whatever I may think, and he does think about me sometimes, he wont tell me outright if he's seeing someone, but he did say do I think he would make someone up just to hurt me?
I said well I have my answer, yesterday he told me there was someone else, and then he's just said he wouldn't make someone up just to hurt me.. so there it is.. he said I was jumping to conclusions.
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
I am seriously torn over this, He is her daddy, she loves him, he was the first one to hold her, I posted the thing he wrote about when she was born.
Can I seriously stop him from coming and joining in, I'll never forgive myself, I am sat crying over this. I don't want to do something I'll regret, or something he'll hold against me forever..
He did send me some texts this evening, telling me he does care about me, whatever I may think, and he does think about me sometimes, he wont tell me outright if he's seeing someone, but he did say do I think he would make someone up just to hurt me?
I said well I have my answer, yesterday he told me there was someone else, and then he's just said he wouldn't make someone up just to hurt me.. so there it is.. he said I was jumping to conclusions.
He is so screwed up.
If you don't invite him to this party and happen to get back together in the future, in a healthyrelationship, he'll understand why you did it. If his head is on right, he'll see that his behavior at this point was unacceptable and that you had to protect yourself. Unless you plan on getting him back to be in the same miserable marriage I think you should have a blast with your daughter and not worry about him.
The texts he's sending you are all a part of manipulation. Don't believe a word that he says, ever. He's shown you that he's not trust worthy repeatedly. Trying to analyze his remarks is a waste of time.
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
__________________
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
No sadly not My mum can't get out of work and my dad is disabled. Not making excuses, that's just how it is.
One of your friends?
Your physical health is obviously a factor at this point. Your emotional health is in danger as well. If you subject yourself to this you know you're going to come out of it emotionally drained. Can you handle that at this point?
If you decide that you absolutely must invite him, please realize he will be manipulating you. If you show that you want to be with him at all, he'll pull away. If you are cold, he'll probably grab for your hand or say something sweet to pull you back in.
I'm 110% against you inviting him, but I understand where you're coming from. If there is anyone else that would be willing to go, I think you should invite them. Maybe one of your daughter's friends and their mother or father?
AmI..i think you should do what your heart tells you to.If you have to spend one more day with him so be it....after that complete NC.
If you think it'll make you really sad tomorrow go ahead and freaking invite him.What the heck ,as I said one more day is not going to kill you. Take his crap one more day and that's about it.
you have to really think about it ,close your eyes picture the day with him...how does it make you feel....?!
__________________
I firmly believe that love is a game of control, or maybe true love is a game of giving up control...and if both give up control, then neither have it but the shared one do...
bad love contols us like pawns on a chess board...
Re: Seriously.. 
