Life - 1 - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-04-2011, 09:52 AM Thread Starter
Suckerpunched's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Turbulent Emotionville
Posts: 40
Life - 1

Where to start today's ramblings???
He left on Tues. The kids took the news pretty hard, but have been troopers since then.
My life has been turned upside down, and the majority of my focus has been on figuring out what to do from here. I'm not sure. I was in the middle of school, realistically, I don't think I'll be able to finish. Boo.
Job prospects are few and far between here, so I'm not really sure how I'll support myself. I do have a bit of a cash cushion, but I suspect that will disappear quicker than I expect.

He has, thus far seen the kids each day that he's been gone, but he won't be seeing them this weekend.

Today was the first day that I woke up really missing him.

I just need a gentle push to put one foot in front of the other while I make a new life.
Any tried and true coping strategies?? or words of wisdom??

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-04-2011, 09:54 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 10,051
Re: Life - 1

Just tactical approaches to day to day life. Get a job, work out the logistics of bill paying, make a new will, change your insurance. That sort of thing. And don't forget to make a bonfire of everything he left behind that you don't want.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-04-2011, 11:04 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 4,167
Re: Life - 1

Keep yourself busy, so you can keep your mind off of him. Spending time with friends and family also helps.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-04-2011, 11:26 AM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 531
Re: Life - 1

Sorry for what you're going through.... ugh the hardest part is that not only you have to deal with your emotions but the financial feel so lost.
Hope you find a way to continue school or find a great job.
Just wanted to offer ((((HUGS)))
Be strong!
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-05-2011, 03:26 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 173
Re: Life - 1

If you don't have any informal agreement with him re: child support/household expenses/day care expenses, etc., or you don't trust that he will stick to that agreement I would first and foremost see an attorney. Maybe you won't be able to finish school right now, but the fact that he left should not put you into financial dire straits. He still has children and responsibilities. He should not be able to leave and leave you to dip into your savings if that is not necessary. Again, changes may be on the horizon with having to sell a home or not being able to pay tuition and having to cut back on things, but blowing through a savings account and not knowing where the $$ is going to come from should not result from his decision to leave.

Aside from doing what you can legally to protect you and your kids, it's exactly as you said - one foot in front of the other. I found that friends and family were a god send, as is my counselor. If your health insurance will help with counseling, it's a good idea. It helps keep the emotions in tact, helps to understand how to cope and helps you to make good decisions for the kids. I think it's human nature to fly off the handle in these situations - I know I would love to beat the snot out of my WH - but the kids have to come first now and the feelings come before mine.

Good luck.
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