I have been married for a year and a half. The last few months my husband and I have not been sleeping together. One day last month I took it upon myself to check the phone records because we have been so distant. I called a few numbers and actually spoke to one woman that told me she had slept with him. The times she did it did add up since he likes to stay out all night when he is out. I began proceeding with divorce. I sought out a lawyer and gave my money. That week I did that I ended up cheating. I came home that night and my husband had some type of suspicion I was cheating so he assulted me. I called the police and by that time he left. Now, he has a warrant for his arrest for domestic violence. of course this is not his only time that he has hit me. So, I felt really bad. Because I had cheated I wanted him to come home. I felt morally I had to make it work. Mind you my husband for a year and a half has partied all night every weekend and this is the second woman that has come forward stating they were intimate. So, I told him everything about me cheating. I stop the divorce filing and we began counseling. We had been in counseling for three weeks. But, he feels that if I do not provoke him he would not put his hands on me. Just last Saturday he pushed me so hard after an argument my right leg is black and blue from falling. Just last night, he had he music loud I yelled his name and he charged in the room attacking me telling me to shut up and what was I yelling for. I mean do I provoke him? He says I am bipolar and that I wouldnt be hit I changed my attitude. Could I have prevented my own beat down? I did call my lawyer back and he was able to start back up again because I can not take the abuse. But, I am scared of being alone. I am terrified of what might happen if we do split. I am just so confused on what I should do. He definately is not the same person I married he is just truly himself and I do not like who I have become and who lives in this house with me.
I guess you can say I want him to love me the way I should but its like he doesnt even care at all. And it is hurting me more emotionally to see him not even want to fight for our marriage and be a loving husband that he should be.
Hun, abuse is now involved, and that's the one type of marriage that is hard to save. Take care of you. That's all you can do. I don't have much else to offer you in the way of encouragement or support or advice, but I'm sending hugs your way. Stay safe.
i agree with the other posters, there is never any reason or excuse to abuse someone else. he tells u that you provoke him so that it puts the resp on you but it's nothing to do with you. he is doing it and it is not right.
Sorry to say this, but I feel that once he has crossed the boundaries and started to head down that path, he won't change. He has, like I said, crossed that boundary, so he will feel more daring to continue on his self-destructive path. My advice to you, GET A PROTECTIVE ORDER! That way, if he DOES approach you at your residence, place of employment etc. (where ever you have listed), he can go to jail for the violation. Sure this will probably piss him off even more, but then you will have more of the law on your side. Hopefully, this will deter him from doing any harm to you in the future. I pray that he "wakes up" from his darkness and realizes what he has done and fix or heal him self before it is too late.
On a side note, I feel that he is taking his anger out on you because you called his fling, and she probably broke it off with him. This is probably the source of his anger. He got caught, so he is taking it out on the one who caused him harm.