09-15-2008, 10:22 PM
Join Date: Sep 2008
| | being separated from wife/family
I've been staying at my parents for almost two months now since my wife asked me to leave our home. Without argument, I left my wife, my two step children and granddaughter whom we were raising.
I am in a complicated situation. I lied to my wife about taking pain medicine. I had several back surgeries. I had been taking this medicine far before I met her, but never disclosed it. Of course, I should have. I work every day, take care of the kids, do my chores, etc, etc. I take medicine prescribed..I don't abuse it..I don't take more. I actually take less than prescribed. But, the fact remains..I lied. The stigma attached to pain medicine always make me want to hide it. I have never told anyone what I take. But, I should of told my wife.
She has dealt with addiction in her family. Not her, but her daughter. Her ex husband.. Her daughter's father...So, when I disclosed this to her, my belief is she felt like she had another addict around. I can understand why she would feel this. I can see where it comes from.
Besides the fact that I lied, I don't know what she is feeling because she will not speak to me except for direct questions with regards to children or money..etc.. She won't respond to any letter or email or phone call, except to answer those direct questions.
I try my best to be patient. I love my wife. I love all of my kids. I love my grandaughter. I love my family. I miss all of them very much. I think am a good person who made a very bad judgment call. Why? I don't know. Afraid of something I guess..
But after two months away, I don't know how to get her to speak to me. I want my marriage to work. I want to grow old with them. I want her to speak with me. We have only been married for about 3 years. I am willing to go to marriage counseling, but she said at the beginning of all of this she would, but not now...??
Any suggestions? I don't want to push her away...but I don't want her to drift away either...