The best friend said a good person to contact is his sister. She was at our wedding too, and we are facebook friends. He said that she wasn't very happy with my H right now. I don't know if he meant it would do anything, but if she gets aggravated enough she'd call my H.
How much does a PI cost? And how would they catch an EA with someone who lives 3000 miles away?
Why would she be a good person to contact? Does she know more stuff?
Idk how much a PI costs. You will have to research your yellow pages or google for you area.
Seems the most practical thing right now is to go with a VAR.
I think he just meant for a sounding board and an activist, lol. She lives in Utah, so it's not like she can confront the OW.
I think a PI is expensive. I guess most practical would be the VAR, but it might be a waste if he suspects it and doesn't let me use his truck, or if he finds it that would be detrimental. Also not sure if it would pick anything up since his truck is so loud.
I just think he knows I'm hell bent on finding the truth. Which is why he's willing to throw our family away and move out of the house. He deletes internet history each night, he erases all sent messages from his phone, he clears his facebook out and then changes all his passwords. He's obviously trying to be careful. He will not take the computer, and I'm not sure he even knows about keyloggers, lol. So I really think he'd be suspicious and not do anything nice for me. Though after Friday night's deal where I called the OW and let the phone ring twice and he was so mad he said he's calling an attorney, he came by the house on Monday. He took the trash out and loaded the dishwasher. And ate food.
I guess I still have a little doubt about the EA, dumb me. He's just so darn believable. But I don't know what else makes sense. If I put the VAR in, and he finds it, I'm toast. But I might already be toast. Then the problem comes with getting it back out. How would I do that? How long do those things last?
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfergirl
What did his mom say? I'd message the sister too. Posted via Mobile Device
Well, his mom and I haven't really talked since the day after he came back from "finding himself". I've attempted to call her or message her and she always has an excuse. Says she loves me and is not ignoring me. I texted her the other day that I had figured out what is going on and it's bigger than what I can handle. She wanted to know and I just said, "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you" so I'm sure she figured it out. I just wonder WHAT she knows. If anything. Because when we did talk, she said that the OW was bad news and agreed that my H has some obsession with his youth, just as his best friend told me.
The sister is not my H's sister, it's the sister of the best friend. I am going to send her a message and just ask what she knows. I'm desperate for answers at this point. Is he so afraid of me saying, "I told you so?" Is he that fearful of me knowing the truth and telling him I was right all along? Or is it the fear of me hating him?
I just think he knows I'm hell bent on finding the truth. Which is why he's willing to throw our family away and move out of the house. He deletes internet history each night, he erases all sent messages from his phone, he clears his facebook out and then changes all his passwords. He's obviously trying to be careful.
And why would you want to be with someone who would be willing to throw your family away, move out of the house, etc?
People don't delete stuff unless they have something they don't want others finding.
And why would you want to be with someone who would be willing to throw your family away, move out of the house, etc?
People don't delete stuff unless they have something they don't want others finding.
You're right, they don't. He has excuses for everything. The internet history is so "the computer doesn't go slow". And the phone is because "I've always deleted my sent, I don't need to know what I said" and the passwords were because I told him I wanted to trust him and I wasn't going to snoop, so he did it "because I told him to".
I don't think I want to be with someone like that.
Yes, it is. Today he pulled up to school (I teach and my son goes to my school) to pick up our son and had told him last night that he'd just text me. Well, I saw him sitting out there for a bit, then he tried to call me. I didn't answer. Then he texted asking if I could please send him out. I didn't even respond, just sent our son out.
But I still sit and wonder why he tried to call. Is he trying to gauge whether or not I'm sad or angry? Or did he have something to tell me? During our text fight the other night, he tried to call a few times but I didn't answer and then he'd text that I was ignoring him. And he'd say "so you don't answer. probably best that you didn't". I don't get him. So I'm going to stop trying.
I'm confused. Are you guys living together or not?
My advice is to NOT blank him when it comes to the kids.
No, he moved out a month ago. We were communicating with phone calls and texts up until last Friday. Now it's just texts about the kids.
What do you mean not blank him? I respond when it's about the kids and I told him he could call and talk to them each night, I'm just not talking to him. And he has both of them tonight.
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Re: Now what? "I love you and I always will..." 
He's just so darn believable. But I don't know what else makes sense. If I put the VAR in, and he finds it, I'm toast. But I might already be toast. Then the problem comes with getting it back out. How would I do that? How long do those things last?
