Your husband is out of control. Usually I have a level head and wouldn't stoop to playing games, but if your husband was mine I'd send him a message saying, "Please let OW know I blocked her from my facebook. If she EVER contacts me again calling me names and threatening me I will get a restraining order. Please don't allow her near our children." Then, I wouldn't reply to any damn thing he said. I'd love to put doubt in his mind that this woman is someone who is stable.
That said, I've been having some anger issues lately so you may not want to follow my lead. LOL
Your husband is out of control. Usually I have a level head and wouldn't stoop to playing games, but if your husband was mine I'd send him a message saying, "Please let OW know I blocked her from my facebook. If she EVER contacts me again calling me names and threatening me I will get a restraining order. Please don't allow her near our children." Then, I wouldn't reply to any damn thing he said. I'd love to put doubt in his mind that this woman is someone who is stable.
That said, I've been having some anger issues lately so you may not want to follow my lead. LOL
Haha, thanks for the laugh. He thinks I'm playing games, so that would be really funny. He'd just say I'm lying. But yes, that would be a good one. I think I'll go with calling her salon for now.
You don't think we should ever talk? EVER? What do you suggest I do from this point forward? Box up his stuff and put it neatly in the garage but not tell him? Forward the bills to his parent's house for a dose of reality? Cut him off my car insurance and use my new bank account? Ask for some money for child support? Just cut him out of my life? Just not sure how to proceed from here.
He is a little boy. He is telling himself I'm ignoring him so that's the reason he doesn't want to talk. He is running away from reality. The way I look at it, I have nothing to lose. Why shouldn't I call the OW and have a nice little chat?
Has he always been like that? Why not block your number and phone the salon with fake name trying to get appointment on Easter weekend? Try for Saturday before and narrow it down. Posted via Mobile Device
Has he always been like that? Why not block your number and phone the salon with fake name trying to get appointment on Easter weekend? Try for Saturday before and narrow it down. Posted via Mobile Device
Then call back and make all sorts of appointments on dates she is there so the b*tch can't make any money.
Oh, hell. I shouldn't be giving advice right now. I'm in fight mode. LOL I wish you the best, but I really think the best will not involve him. Hugs!
Has he always been like that? Why not block your number and phone the salon with fake name trying to get appointment on Easter weekend? Try for Saturday before and narrow it down. Posted via Mobile Device
LOL, I like how you think. This has been my idea all along. Even pulling a "My friend came in at the end of February and loved the haircut she got. I can't remember the girl's name though. Oh, yeah, maybe that's her, can you see if she was there on February 25th?" Then I'm getting an idea of what went on during his 5 days away, and then once I "get her name" I can try to make an appointment with her for Easter weekend. Then I can call back and try to change it to one of the other dates, like the 28th (day he can't get the kids). Hmmmm.
gg, this is nothing like the man I married. Like any guy, he doesn't like relationship talks, but he's always been so reassuring and sweet and sensitive and would just pour words of affection out at me. I really think that he's telling himself he is over it all, but he's not convinced. I guess his way of telling me that was by saying he knows the kids are hurting, "as I am and I'm sure you are too".
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Originally Posted by WhereAmI
Then call back and make all sorts of appointments on dates she is there so the b*tch can't make any money.
Oh, hell. I shouldn't be giving advice right now. I'm in fight mode. LOL I wish you the best, but I really think the best will not involve him. Hugs!
So funny. My friends get me all worked up with these ideas and it cracks me up. I really do have a LOT of self control. My posts might not look like it, but I really do.
Well, his paycheck went into our account still. Should I move mine out into my own account and pay MY bills? I haven't paid the bills in his name (his student loans, credit cards, etc.). He hasn't sat down with me at all in regards to bills. And I need to register my car.
Well, his paycheck went into our account still. Should I move mine out into my own account and pay MY bills? I haven't paid the bills in his name (his student loans, credit cards, etc.). He hasn't sat down with me at all in regards to bills. And I need to register my car.
Pay family bills - sheltern food, transport, insurance, utilities, cc with your name on it and screw rest. You aren't 'wife' anymore. Let OW run his finances or let him communicate with you about his stuff. Squirrel something away
For lawyer and new hair do from Vegas salon lol. Posted via Mobile Device
LOL, I like how you think. This has been my idea all along. Even pulling a "My friend came in at the end of February and loved the haircut she got. I can't remember the girl's name though. Oh, yeah, maybe that's her, can you see if she was there on February 25th?" Then I'm getting an idea of what went on during his 5 days away, and then once I "get her name" I can try to make an appointment with her for Easter weekend. Then I can call back and try to change it to one of the other dates, like the 28th (day he can't get the kids). Hmmmm.
gg, this is nothing like the man I married. Like any guy, he doesn't like relationship talks, but he's always been so reassuring and sweet and sensitive and would just pour words of affection out at me. I really think that he's telling himself he is over it all, but he's not convinced. I guess his way of telling me that was by saying he knows the kids are hurting, "as I am and I'm sure you are too".
So funny. My friends get me all worked up with these ideas and it cracks me up. I really do have a LOT of self control. My posts might not look like it, but I really do.
When I was 19 I caught my bf driving out of town on vacation with other woman (I thought he was going with buddies). I knew he'd lie and I'd never know the truth so I blocked my number and called her house pretending to be her high school buddy in town for weekend wanting to hang with my friend (OW). I got told where she was going, with who and for how long. When bf tried to lie, I knew the truth thru clever investigations! Posted via Mobile Device
LOL, You are allowing yourself to become obsessed with "discovering" the truth that you already know. I found the smoking gun in my husband's emails, and the pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. I confronted them, I made threats. It doesn't matter. You know the truth, and he knows the truth. Accept it and work through it, but don't chase it down. Your energy is better spent elsewhere; on YOU!
Pay family bills - sheltern food, transport, insurance, utilities, cc with your name on it and screw rest. You aren't 'wife' anymore. Let OW run his finances or let him communicate with you about his stuff. Squirrel something away For lawyer and new hair do from Vegas salon lol.
I'm paying daycare, my car payment, utilities, etc. We've got money issues and him running off and running up money on gas and groceries for his parent's house is cutting it even thinner. He can't expect me to be paying all the bills. I'm going to keep the mortgage a month behind so I have a little money to put down on a lawyer when the time comes. That B!tch isn't coming near my hair, but that would be funny!
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Originally Posted by golfergirl
When I was 19 I caught my bf driving out of town on vacation with other woman (I thought he was going with buddies). I knew he'd lie and I'd never know the truth so I blocked my number and called her house pretending to be her high school buddy in town for weekend wanting to hang with my friend (OW). I got told where she was going, with who and for how long. When bf tried to lie, I knew the truth thru clever investigations! Posted via Mobile Device
I have SO thought about just calling her and pretending to be someone else. But I just don't see how it would work. My friend is better on her feet than I! You know they now have this app you can put on your phone, and when you call someone you choose what number it shows. So I could call her and it show as his number. That would be interesting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIP
LOL, You are allowing yourself to become obsessed with "discovering" the truth that you already know. I found the smoking gun in my husband's emails, and the pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. I confronted them, I made threats. It doesn't matter. You know the truth, and he knows the truth. Accept it and work through it, but don't chase it down. Your energy is better spent elsewhere; on YOU!
I am obsessed, you are right about that. I keep telling myself, "whatever is done in the dark will eventually be revealed in light." It will come out. Makes no difference at this point. I'm done with being married to a man that can treat me this way. I keep asking myself if I missed some signs or something along the way. I never saw this coming.
It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that the OW wasn't what's going wrong with our marriage. When he said at first that she wasn't the problem, I got defensive and thought he was sweeping it under the rug. SLOWLY, I am realizing how we got to this point, and that she is just a symptom of our dysfunction. If we are going to rebuild, the affair will have to be addressed in time, but I had to let my obsession go. I was trying to get into his emails for hours, searching phone and text records, carrying incriminating emails around in my purse. Can we say "baggage?" You don't need proof to justify moving on. You already know. Trust yourself, your instincts, and STOP self-destructive behavior.
Do you see in his texts he repeats,I know u hate me,I know what you think of me.don't tell the kids I am a butthead cause you hate me.....blah blah. He istrying to get you to feel bad for poor him and he is being abused by you.... you feed into it. Do not respond.
You are giving the kids impressions. When she asks how you are? You can not say mad or sad. She is a little girl she is going to react to your voice and what you say. First,, you want him to think. You are doing just fine,don't deviate from the plan. You have NO feelings as far as he is concerned. Saying anything on facebook, don't do it.
The hubby may not ever tell you what you suspect,but what you can say to him is look,you have been married to me and have had these kids as blessings of our marraige. I deserve to be talked to face to face and not by text or email concerning the fate of our marraige. If he argues,claims he can't talk to you cause you hate him,do not respond. You will know him for the coward he is. He is not the man you married.
As far as calling, use a prepaid cell with the area code she is at, do not call from home phone incase they have caller id.
Again, change the locks,he has no business in the house. He does not live there.start forwarding his bills write no longer at address on them.
Hugs sent your way,stay strong. Posted via Mobile Device
Jen I also have to agree that saying I'm mad at daddy was a not a good idea.
I never said anything to our Daughter,she saw me crying million times when things were really bad but all I've said was "I am crying because I miss daddy" .
There were times where she would get upset because she missed him and I would just comfort her and explain that he will see her soon...one time I took a little video of her being upset and me explaining to her that daddy misses her too....than send it to him and he really appreciated that I did that.
It is hard to control your feelings when you're so hurt and it's extremely hard to try and defend their father and say good things about him to them BUT you must learn to do it. Remember you're doing it for your kids,you don't want them to hate him...you want them to have a good relationship with HIM.
Developmentally this is very important for your kids.
__________________ H. and I married since 2001.Two kids 5 and 1
H. separated from me onDec. 1st 2010Reconciled March 2nd 2011 . April 24th ,he told me he's been having an affair May 11 the day he asked for divorce June28th divorce papers were served to me
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Re: Now what? "I love you and I always will..." 
Haha, thanks for the laugh. He thinks I'm playing games, so that would be really funny. He'd just say I'm lying. But yes, that would be a good one. I think I'll go with calling her salon for now.
