You'll eventually get to apoint where you will tell people "We're not together anymore/we broke up/we divorced." I think when that happens, you have finally truly accepted it.
Re: him and your being "nice"--again I think he likes it better when you're "nice" cause he doesn't feel as bad for cheating and walking out on you and his kids, his family. It assuages his guilt.
When you are mean, it makes things uncomfortable for him and he sees the pain he's causead.
Little boy.
When is your attorney sending the papers?
See, that's where I'm struggling. When someone asks, I can't JUST say, "We're getting divorced." I have to say, "he cheated on me with his high school sweetheart and ran off." So that's where I know the bitterness is still there. I don't deal with it on a daily basis, but I do feel like I want everyone to know what a piece of crap he is. Gotta let that go still!
And you're 100% right about the guilt and being nice. He got worried that I wasn't being nice. I'm sure that will all be thrown out the window when he gets the paperwork. I have to call my attorney in a day or two and make sure she got it and made the changes. I'm on pins and needles and all anxious wondering how he's going to react. EEK. I'm out of town, but I'll be back this weekend.
Well if you want to broadcast to the world that he cheated on you and is POS, then go for it. LOL. It's your life so you're allowed to talk about it any way you want.
I personally don't ever go into details with anyone who asks, but you'd be surprised--most people don't ask. To me it's a very private thing and not anyone's business why we divorced at all. I like to guard that. Even if I have some stories to tell.
Yeah it sounds like the papers are way overdue. You first filed them like 2 months ago right? That is a long time. He will be pissed when he gets them but that's par for the course. It's to be epxected. Nobody is ever happy when they get served any type of divorce/separation papework. Just like nobody is ever happy when their husband abandons their family to run off w/ some skank.
He can be pissed off all he wants--this was his decision.
So I found myself able to not talk about it as much lately, so I must be doing better!
I didn't file any papers really, just started the process with the lawyer trying to settle outside of court before filing.
And just FYI, he's back to being friendly. He even came on Saturday to pick the kids up and I walk out of the bedroom and he has this big grin on his face. I'm like, "What?" and he says, "Someone got some sun." I say, "Yeah, but I'm not burnt so why are you looking at me like that?" and he replies, "You just have some tan lines going on." REALLY?! Wipe the drool, jerk.
He also asked me for his social security card. Not really sure why. I said I would get around to looking for it. But I'm trying to figure out what he would need that for. SO he texted me AGAIN and I said, "I'll look. What do you need it so bad for?" and he waited awhile to respond and then sent something about it being an important document and he thought it was lost and that's why he needs his birth certificate, too. Then I picked up the kids from him yesterday and he brings it up again and say she needs it because he got a job offer, and he can't fill out the application without a social security card. Sounds fishy. Like he just told two different stories. And that's not necessarily true about the job. He is SOOO bluffing.
So I found myself able to not talk about it as much lately, so I must be doing better!
I didn't file any papers really, just started the process with the lawyer trying to settle outside of court before filing.
And just FYI, he's back to being friendly. He even came on Saturday to pick the kids up and I walk out of the bedroom and he has this big grin on his face. I'm like, "What?" and he says, "Someone got some sun." I say, "Yeah, but I'm not burnt so why are you looking at me like that?" and he replies, "You just have some tan lines going on." REALLY?! Wipe the drool, jerk.
He also asked me for his social security card. Not really sure why. I said I would get around to looking for it. But I'm trying to figure out what he would need that for. SO he texted me AGAIN and I said, "I'll look. What do you need it so bad for?" and he waited awhile to respond and then sent something about it being an important document and he thought it was lost and that's why he needs his birth certificate, too. Then I picked up the kids from him yesterday and he brings it up again and say she needs it because he got a job offer, and he can't fill out the application without a social security card. Sounds fishy. Like he just told two different stories. And that's not necessarily true about the job. He is SOOO bluffing.
Could there be a job offer in Vegas? Your lawyer really p!sses me off. What a slowpoke! Posted via Mobile Device
Re documents, they are important. Is he getting married? Getting a passport? Emmigrating to another country? Dealing with a new insurance co? Who knows. Posted via Mobile Device
Could there be a job offer in Vegas? Your lawyer really p!sses me off. What a slowpoke! Posted via Mobile Device
I don't think so. I really don't think he'd up and leave the kids. He has more rooting him here than she does there. And I'm driving down tomorrow to see if I can meet with the lawyer. She did tell me they had like 600 uncontested divorces in that office. Holy cow!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClipClop
Fire your lawyer.
Re documents, they are important. Is he getting married? Getting a passport? Emmigrating to another country? Dealing with a new insurance co? Who knows. Posted via Mobile Device
Can't get married, has to get divorced first. I don't think you need a SS card to get divorced, do you?! I was thinking passport, maybe they're going on a cruise or something. It's funny that he had to lie, he could have just told me it was none of my business.
Sorry to hear that. Love hurts. It's so hard to let go because it's more than just loving someone. It's all your hopes and dreams and your way of life. It gets better. Once you finally cut those strings and mourn the loss and begin to move forward, each day is a little easier.
My stbx-H is back to being normal on the phone. It's so odd. I have hard times, like I am visiting family in my hometown, where H and I met. We went to breakfast and ran into the pastor that married us. He came up and it was the kids and I and my parents. He asked how many years it had been and I just sort of mumbled, "10", but that was hard. In moments like those I want to call him up and scream at him, but I don't. I realize that moving on is about finding peace within yourself. Not getting worked up over it on any level.
thanks LNL i completely agree with you on not just about love, its way deeper then that. I will try to find peace within myself, those strings are really in a tight knot.
My first thought was he needs a passport but the SSN card is throwing me. He definitely needs it for something important.
Your lawyer might be the worst lawyer ever, Lonely. I cannot understand at all what is taking so long. Seems you started this nearly 2 months ago and she hasn't sent him anything? My lawyer sent my ex paperwork the following morning after me meeting w/ him. I'd totally get a new lawyer.
My first thought was he needs a passport but the SSN card is throwing me. He definitely needs it for something important.
Your lawyer might be the worst lawyer ever, Lonely. I cannot understand at all what is taking so long. Seems you started this nearly 2 months ago and she hasn't sent him anything? My lawyer sent my ex paperwork the following morning after me meeting w/ him. I'd totally get a new lawyer.
Update Please! Has H been served? Posted via Mobile Device
Lonely is doing very well. Everything is moving forward and papers were served this week. She is going to give you a better review once the process is further along and her stbx has responded, but she says hello.
Update Please! Has H been served? Posted via Mobile Device
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathyGriffinFan
Any updates? Hope all is well!!
Thanks, ladies. So mid-week he would have received the paperwork from my attorney. It states that he has two weeks to respond and if we don't hear from him we file contested. I thought for sure I would hear something, but nothing yet. He's acting a little less chummy but not mean or anything. So we will see. I'm thinking he got it all on Wednesday because he called and said he wasn't taking the kids on Thurs which is his day off. I'm guessing he probably went to consult with an attorney. I will give him the weekend and see if he says anything by Monday morning when he drops the kids off. If not, I'm shooting off an email. I'm praying for things to go as smoothly as possible. I know it's just beginning, but I'm going to be hopeful for a peaceful resolution.
I actually went and sold my wedding band along with a bunch of other jewelry he had given me. I got $620 and one hell of a lot of closure. It felt awesome! And I needed the money. I'm enjoying my summer with my kids and my family. I can truly say I'm in an amazingly incredible place. Moving forward without looking back. They "why?" questions don't come nearly as often, and I wake up each day with a smile on my face. What a journey! I am happy with who I am am. 100%. I think I'm an incredible person with a lot to offer the world. I don't need affirmation from another person to know that's true. And I don't need another person at all. It's a very freeing feeling. We're going to be alright. Better than alright.
I have a great support network, you guys have been invaluable, and I look forward to the future. Stbx is my past, and that's where he belongs. My friendships have proven so valuable and I see what is important in life now. Yes, love is something I want in the future, but for now I'm content. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things, and I'm enjoying waking up each day to find what each day holds for me, good or bad.
And yeah, you guys were right. I look back and I kind of feel really sad for where I was and for what I couldn't see. But you know what? It's a part of the process, part of what brought me to where I am today. I wouldn't change anything if I were able to go back and do so. I can move on in life and know that I was the best wife I knew how to be, I held onto every straw I could grasp, and I tried all I could. It sucks to admit that my marriage failed. But I'm a better person for it. Afterall, what they say is true... Everything happens for a reason!
Thanks, ladies. So mid-week he would have received the paperwork from my attorney. It states that he has two weeks to respond and if we don't hear from him we file contested. I thought for sure I would hear something, but nothing yet. He's acting a little less chummy but not mean or anything. So we will see. I'm thinking he got it all on Wednesday because he called and said he wasn't taking the kids on Thurs which is his day off. I'm guessing he probably went to consult with an attorney. I will give him the weekend and see if he says anything by Monday morning when he drops the kids off. If not, I'm shooting off an email. I'm praying for things to go as smoothly as possible. I know it's just beginning, but I'm going to be hopeful for a peaceful resolution.
I actually went and sold my wedding band along with a bunch of other jewelry he had given me. I got $620 and one hell of a lot of closure. It felt awesome! And I needed the money. I'm enjoying my summer with my kids and my family. I can truly say I'm in an amazingly incredible place. Moving forward without looking back. They "why?" questions don't come nearly as often, and I wake up each day with a smile on my face. What a journey! I am happy with who I am am. 100%. I think I'm an incredible person with a lot to offer the world. I don't need affirmation from another person to know that's true. And I don't need another person at all. It's a very freeing feeling. We're going to be alright. Better than alright.
I have a great support network, you guys have been invaluable, and I look forward to the future. Stbx is my past, and that's where he belongs. My friendships have proven so valuable and I see what is important in life now. Yes, love is something I want in the future, but for now I'm content. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things, and I'm enjoying waking up each day to find what each day holds for me, good or bad.
And yeah, you guys were right. I look back and I kind of feel really sad for where I was and for what I couldn't see. But you know what? It's a part of the process, part of what brought me to where I am today. I wouldn't change anything if I were able to go back and do so. I can move on in life and know that I was the best wife I knew how to be, I held onto every straw I could grasp, and I tried all I could. It sucks to admit that my marriage failed. But I'm a better person for it. Afterall, what they say is true... Everything happens for a reason!
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Re: Now what? "I love you and I always will..." 
Love you, LNL !!!!!
